The girl was speechless and overwhelmed by astonishment. Although she had enjoyed a measure of freedom in her father’s care, she could not work up the courage to argue with this man, not to mention oppose him. After living for a month in his home, her character had been infected with the virus of submission to his will, which terrified everyone in the house. Her conscience protested that her father himself had allowed her to accompany him to the cinema more than once. It was not right for this man to forbid her something that her husband allowed. She was satisfied that she had not done anything wrong or disgraceful. Her conscience told her this and more, but she was unable to speak a single word when faced by his eyes, which demanded obedience and respect, and his large nose, which when his head was tilted back looked like a revolver aimed at her. Her internal dialogue was concealed behind a facade of polite agreement, just as sound waves seem to hide inside the wireless receiver once it is turned off.
Before she knew what was happening, she heard him ask her, as though continuing his conversation, 'Do you have any objection to what I have said?'
She shook her head in the negative and the word 'no' was traced on her lips although she did not say it. So he told her, 'We've agreed, then. You may retire to your room in peace'.
She left the room with a pale face, and al-Sayyid Ahmad turned toward Yasin, who was looking at the ground. Shaking his head with great sorrow, he said, 'The matter is extremely serious, but what can I do? You're no longer a child. If you were, I'd break your head. But, alas, you're a man and an employee and a husband too, even if you don't abstain from frivolous entertainments on account of your marriage. So what can I do with you? Is this the result of the education I've given you?' Then he continued even more sorrowfully: 'What came over you?… Where’s your manhood?… Where’s your sense of honor? By God, I can scarcely believe what I've heard'.
Yasin did not raise his head and did not speak. His father assumed that his silence showed he was afraid and felt he had been in error. He did not imagine that his son might be drunk. Yasin’s apparent contrition was no consolation to him. The offense seemed too outrageous to be left without some decisive remedy, even though the former one, the stick, was out of the question. He would have to be firm or the family structure would be destroyed.
He said, 'Don't you know that I forbid my wife to leave the house even if only to visit al-Husayn? How could you have given in to the temptation to take your wife to a bawdy show and stayed there with her until after midnight? You fool, you're propelling yourself and your wife into the abyss. What demon has hold of you?'
Yasin thought it best to seek refuge in silence, for fear his voice or his garrulousness would reveal his intoxication. This strategy seemed especially necessary since his mind, scoffing at his serious situation, insisted on stealing out of the room and shooting off to the far horizons, which to his drunken head appeared to be dancing at times and swaying at others. No matter how much his father’s voice terrorized him, it could not silence the tunes the comedians had sung at the theater. They leapt to his mind, in spite of himself, like ghosts appearing to a frightened person at night, and whispered:
The song would be banished by his fear, only to bounce back.
His father became upset by his silence and shouted angrily, 'Speak! Tell me what you think. I'm determined that this incident will not slide by'.
Afraid that silence would prove harmful, Yasin abandoned it fearfully and uneasily. Making a valiant effort to gain control of himself, he said, 'Her father treated her somewhat leniently'. Then he added hastily, 'But I'll admit I made a mistake'.
Overlooking the last phrase, al-Sayyid Ahmad screamed angrily at him, 'She’s no longer in her father’s house. She must respect the rules of the family to which she now belongs. You're her husband and master. It’s up to you to make her see things the way you want. Tell me: Who’s responsible for her going with you: you or her?'
Despite his intoxication, Yasin was aware of the trap laid for him, but fear forced him to equivocate. He mumbled, 'When she learned of my intention to go out, she begged me to let her go too'.
Al-Sayyid Ahmad beat his hands together and said, 'What kind of man are you?… The proper reply to her would have been a blow. Only men can ruin women, and not every man is capable of being a guardian for them'. (Qur'an 4:34.)
Then, furious at his son, he said, 'You take her to a place where women dance half naked?'
In his imagination Yasin saw once more the scenes his father’s appearance at the head of the stairs had spoiled. The tunes rang through his head again: 'I'll sell my clothes…'
Before Yasin knew what was happening the man was threatening him: 'This house has rules which you know. Reconcile yourself to respecting them if you wish to remain here'.
47
Aisha took charge of beautifying Khadija for her wedding and accomplished the task with unparalleled zeal and extraordinary skill, as though she felt the adornment of Khadija was in every way the most rewarding accomplishment of her life. Khadija really looked like a bride and prepared herself to move to the bridegroom’s house. In keeping with her custom of downplaying the value of services other people performed for her, she claimed that the credit should go to her plumpness more than to anything else. Moreover, her beauty was no longer the focus of her concern, since a man who had happened to see her himself had asked for her hand.
Despite all the manifestations of happiness surrounding her, they were not able to obliterate her pulsing homesickness at the prospect of the impending separation. It was exactly what one would expect of a girl whose heart pounded with love for nothing so much as for her family and house-from her parents, whom she adored, to the chickens, hyacinth beans, and jasmine. Not even marriage itself, for which she had longed and yearned so impatiently, was able to diminish the bitterness of parting. Before anyone had asked for her hand she had seemed oblivious to her love and respect for the house. Any minor vexation would suffice to mask her authentic feelings, for love is like health. It is taken lightly when present and cherished when it departs. With her mind put at ease about her future, her heart refused to make the change from one life to another without intense anguish that seemed an attempt to atone for some offense or a stingy reluctance to part with something of value.
Kamal gazed at her silently. He no longer asked, 'Will you return?' He had learned that a girl who marries does not return. He murmured to his sisters, 'I'll visit both of you frequently in the afternoon when school lets out'.
Although they indicated they would welcome his visits, Kamal was no longer beguiled by false hopes. He had visited Aisha often without ever finding the old Aisha. In her place he found another woman, all decked out, who received him with such exaggerated affection that he felt like a stranger. Even if he was alone with her for a moment, her husband would soon join them. Khalil did not leave the house and amused himself with various pastimes like smoking his cigarettes or water pipe or strumming his lute. Khadija would be no better than Aisha. The only companion he would have left in the house would be Zaynab, and she was not as affectionate to him as she should be, unless his mother was watching. Then she seemed to try to ingratiate herself with Mrs. Amina by being nice to him. Whenever the mother left, Zaynab would ignore him, as though he were invisible.
Although Zaynab did not feel she would be losing a dear friend with the departure of Khadija, she disapproved of the quiet and serious atmosphere enveloping the wedding day. She used that as a pretext for expressing some of the resentment and rage she harbored against the domineering spirit of al-Sayyid Ahmad. She observed sarcastically, 'I've never seen a house like yours where what’s licit is forbidden… What’s the wisdom of that?' Since Zaynab did not feel like saying goodbye to Khadija without a polite word, she praised her abilities highly and said she was a good homemaker who would be a credit to her husband.
Aisha agreed with that and added, 'The only thing wrong with her is her tongue. Haven't you experienced it,
