about the woman in the past tense and started to feel sick. “They said she was a spy, a very dangerous spy, who was passing secrets to the Chinese. The Chinese had co-opted her. She was a threat to our country.”
“And you…?”
Carl forced himself to look at Vanessa. He had vowed to tell her everything and he would not back down.
“I shot her in the eye. She was sleeping. I broke into their house and killed them.”
“There was someone else?”
Carl nodded. His voice cracked. “Her husband. He was a captain in the army.”
“But he was a spy, too?”
Carl shook his head slowly from side to side. “They aren’t certain but they couldn’t take a chance that he was working with her. That’s what I was told.”
Carl started to cry. “He was an American, Vanessa. He might have been completely innocent. He was a captain, just like me.”
“A captain? You told me you were a sergeant.”
“That’s my cover. So is my job at the language school. My whole life is a lie.”
Carl’s head dropped into his hands and he sobbed. Vanessa was appalled by what he’d told her and she could not bring herself to comfort him.
“My father gave you your orders?”
“I’ve worked for him for more than ten years.”
Vanessa looked confused. “The AIDC is involved in the coordination of intelligence data. It doesn’t have agents who do what you do.”
“It does, Van, but only a handful of people know about my Unit.”
Carl explained what he had been doing since he had been recruited by the General. Vanessa grew angrier as he spoke.
“The bastard,” she said when he was done. Her eyes shone. “Do you realize what would happen if we exposed him?”
“Don’t think that way. Your father is a very dangerous man. I have no idea how far he would go if he thought that you were a danger to him.”
“Don’t you want to help me? Don’t you want to stop being his puppet?”
“I want to stop but I don’t want you to die. Your father will kill us if he feels threatened. What you’re thinking of doing isn’t practical, anyway. There is no proof that the Unit exists. General Wingate would deny it and so would everyone else connected to the operation. And if by some chance you were able to get evidence that the Unit exists, you would endanger anyone who knew about it. Killing is considered a method of problem solving to these people-to me. I’m one of them, Van. It’s how we think. If you have a problem and killing will solve the problem, you kill.”
Vanessa was quiet for a few moments. Then she looked at Carl.
“What are you going to do?”
“I want to leave the army. I want some peace.”
“Will my father let you go?”
“I don’t know. But I’ve got to ask.”
Vanessa thought for a moment. “That could be very dangerous, Carl. My father hates weakness. Think of how much you know and how much you could hurt him. Once he knows you want out, you’ll become a problem he has to solve.”
Carl stared at Vanessa with empty eyes. “I don’t care anymore. I have to stop. If he lets me go, I’ll be through with it. If he kills me, I’ll be at peace too.” He laughed. “I guess I’m in a win-win situation.”
Carl phoned Vanessa the evening after he had made his confession, and her answering machine took the call. He phoned several other times but Vanessa didn’t pick up. The next day, Carl called Vanessa at work and was told that she was not in. She didn’t show up at her law school class either. Carl wondered if Vanessa’s apartment was bugged. Had the General reviewed a tape of his conversation with Vanessa? Was she dead because of him? Carl drove to the apartment. It was dark. He jimmied the lock and entered. She wasn’t there, and her mailbox was stuffed with mail.
The next night Carl received a call from a polling service. He had never been given an assignment so soon after returning from one, but the call signaled a meet. Five hours after he decoded the message he parked in front of room 105 of a motel on the outskirts of Baltimore. Carl expected to find General Peter Rivera waiting for him, but the room was unoccupied. A vicious snowstorm was pummeling the east coast, and any number of weather-related possibilities could explain his late arrival.
Carl threw his pea jacket and watch cap on the bed and went into the bathroom. He started brewing coffee in the pot provided by the motel. As the coffee perked he wondered what he would do if Rivera had another assignment for him that required him to kill. Before he could sort out his thoughts, the door opened. Carl drew his gun and pressed against the bathroom wall. He could see the front door in the mirror that hung over the sink. A brutal wind blew snowflakes into the motel room. A man who was too tall to be Rivera followed them in. His face was hidden behind the upturned collar of his overcoat.
“Your tax dollars pay for those bullets, Carl,” Morris Wingate said. “Don’t waste them.”
Carl holstered his weapon and stepped into the bedroom carrying two mugs of steaming coffee.
“Cold enough for you?” Carl asked nonchalantly as he handed Wingate one of the mugs.
“Cold enough,” the General said as he stomped the snow from his shoes.
“I’ve been trying to get through to you,” Carl said.
“I’ve been away,” Wingate answered, and Carl knew that this was the only explanation he was going to get. The General sat down in the room’s only easy chair and warmed his hands on the coffee mug. Carl turned the desk chair around and set his mug on the blotter. He forced himself to look Wingate in the eye as he cut to the chase.
“I’ve been thinking about leaving the service.”
“Does this have anything to do with Vanessa?”
Carl was trained to hide his emotions, but his training failed him.
“You are an extremely important person, Carl. We keep track of you.”
Carl felt sick.
The General shook his head sadly. When he spoke he did not sound angry, only hurt and disappointed.
“I wish you’d confided in me before now. You know that you and Vanessa mean a lot to me.”
Carl waited, unsure of just how much Wingate knew.
“Have you told her what you do for a living?” the General asked.
Carl’s mind raced to find the right answer. If Wingate had overheard his confession, a lie could sign a death warrant for him and Vanessa. The same result might follow if Wingate didn’t know what Carl had told his daughter and Carl told Wingate the truth.
“I haven’t told her about the Unit and I don’t plan to,” he lied. “We both know that she wouldn’t approve.”
Wingate nodded. “Why have you decided to abandon your career?” he asked.
Carl looked down at his hands. “I’m losing my edge. I’m burned out.”
“You should take some time to think about this. You’re a shooting star, Carl. You’re going to keep rising if you stay in the service. There are people who are watching you with big things in mind. Will you promise me that you won’t act precipitately?”
Carl wanted out now, tonight, but he didn’t have the strength to say so.
“I’m not jumping into anything,” Carl said.
“Good, because I have important work for you.” Carl was surprised. General Rivera had always briefed him. “When you’re through with this mission, take some R and R and figure out what you want to do with your life. I’ll back your decision one hundred percent, no matter what you decide.”
Wingate opened a briefcase he had been carrying. Inside were cash, false identification, a weapon, and other
