flashbacks and the nightmares?'
'Good question. At first, when you thought the surgeon was still at large and could hurt you, you went into a survival mode with a heightened state of alert and you suppressed all of your emotions so you could deal with the danger. But once you felt safe, you relaxed and gave your doubts and fears time to surface. Your guard was down. When you came in contact with a stimulus like the autopsy photo or Toby Brooks, you were forced to recall the incident without time to prepare yourself, and you started to wonder if it could happen again.'
'What can I do to make this stop?' Amanda asked, her voice almost a whisper. 'That's why I came here. I want it to stop. I was happy before. I was a happy person.' Tears welled up in Amanda's eyes again. She dabbed at them with a tissue. 'I want to be happy again.'
Dodson leaned toward Amanda. When he spoke, he sounded confident and comforting.
'You are a very strong person, Amanda. It took strength for you to come here. I can't guarantee that you'll ever feel the way you did before the attack, but I can tell you that other people have fought through what you are experiencing. Right now I think it would help if you keep doing things you enjoy and are around people you like and trust. I'd also suggest that you try to avoid situations or books or movies that might trigger a reaction.'
'What about my work, Ben? I'm a criminal defense attorney. I deal with murder and rape every day. What do I do about that?'
'That's a question I can't answer right now, but it's something that both of us need to think about.'
Part Two
Chapter Nine.
Tim Kerrigan had just finished another chapter of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and was tucking Megan in when he heard the phone ring.
'One more chapter, please,' Megan begged.
'Not tonight.'
'Why not?'
'If I read you another chapter we'll finish the book sooner and then it will be all done and you'll be sad because Alice and the White Rabbit will disappear.'
'But you'll finish someday anyway and I'll be sad.'
'But you'll be sadder later.'
'And they won't disappear, because you can read it to me again.'
Kerrigan kissed Megan's nose. 'You are too smart, young lady.'
Megan smiled and followed up her advantage. 'One more chapter. Please.'
Kerrigan was about to give in when Cindy walked into Megan's bedroom.
'It's Richard Curtis,' she said. Richard Curtis was Tim's direct supervisor. Cindy looked put out, which was the way she always looked whenever his office called him at home.
'I'll take it in the study.'
He turned back to Megan. 'Sorry, Buttercup.'
Kerrigan kissed Megan, gave her a hug, and said good night. Then he went into his den.
'What's up, Dick?'
'I hate to do this to you but I just received a call from Sean McCarthy. He's at a crime scene and I want you to cover it.'
'Can't you find someone else?'
'Not for this one. It's Harold Travis.'
'You're kidding! What happened?'
'He was beaten to death.'
Tim closed his eyes. He remembered saying good-bye to Travis at the Westmont.
'I can't, Dick, I knew him.'
'Everyone knew him.'
'I played golf with him this weekend. Can't you send Hammond or Penzler? They'd give their right arms to see their name in the paper.'
'Look, Tim, the death of a United States senator is going to be covered by the national media. You know how to deal with them. I need someone out there who won't grandstand if someone from 20/20 shoves a microphone in his face.'
Kerrigan was quiet for a moment. Harold Travis. How could he be dead? He didn't want to see someone he knew dead.
'Tim?'
