Nefertiti

and I caught him watching me in the evening light.

“You look more like your sister than I remember,” he said. “The same cheeks, the same lips…” The artist in him hesitated. “But not the same eyes.” He peered closely at me as we rode. “They have changed.”

“They have grown more like my father’s. Wary and cunning.” I stared out ahead of me. “And Nefertiti?” I asked. “Has she changed since you first came to the court of Memphis?”

We both looked at Nefertiti in the chariot before us. Her crown glinted in the pale evening light and her long silver cloak whipped in the wind. Thutmose said proudly, “No, the queen is exactly the same.”

Still a spoiled child, I thought. But the people loved her. As we rode toward the Arena, they crowded in the streets, chanting her name and throwing lotus blossoms before her. As word spread that the queen was in the city, the chanting grew more fervent. Her Nubian guards made a circle around her in their polished chariots, warding off the crying people with their shields. “Stand back!” they shouted. “Stand back!” But Egyptians crushed against each other on the Royal Road, begging my sister to intervene with Aten to bring them happiness. “Please,” they cried out. “Please, Your Majesty!”

I glanced at Thutmose. “Is it always like this?”

“Always, my lady. They would walk to the quarries of Aswan for her. They line up at the palace gates just to see her pass by the window of her chamber. Every statue in Amarna is her shrine.”

“So she’s a goddess?”

“Of the people.”

“And Pharaoh?” It was difficult to see him. He was surrounded by a thick press of Nubian guards.

Thutmose leaned close to me and said, “I would think he would be jealous. But she guides their love to him, and they praise him because she does.”

The horses turned sharply into the entrance of the Arena and the cries of the people fell behind us. I gasped. It was grander than anything I had ever seen. Thutmose gave me his arm to help me out of the chariot. “Look at the crown.” He drew my eyes to the top of the open Arena, where images of Nefertiti and Akhenaten had been painstakingly carved, their arms raised to the rays of Aten.

I gaped. “You did all of this?”

“With Maya’s direction. And in only seven months.”

Each of the sandstone statues had been painted and gilded. Their united hands formed the top of the Arena. It was a magnificent sight. A building to rival the temples of Thebes. We walked inside, and the stillness of night settled across the empty colonnades. Our voices disturbed the silence, and our long procession filled the Arena.

“What do you think?” Nefertiti searched my face.

“It’s magnificent,” I told her. “Thutmose is truly gifted.”

There were portraits of all the royal court on the Arena walls, riding in chariots, striking blows at the Hittites, but I searched in vain for Kiya and Prince Nebnefer. My sister had already erased them from Amarna. She knew that to speak the name of the dead was to make them live again, and that someday, when the Gods returned to Egypt, they would find no trace of Kiya’s existence.

“Shall we take her to the new horses?” Meri asked eagerly. “They’re Assyrian.”

Akhenaten led the way to the stables, and Nefertiti watched my awe at the lavishness of it all with satisfaction. I imagined all the letters my father must have written to procure so many breeds.

“That is the pair from Assyria.” Nefertiti pointed. “Akhenaten purchased two for Meri and Meketaten. And now who knows? Soon we may need one for a little son. It’s the greatest Arena in Egypt, isn’t it?”

“It must have taken a great deal of labor.”

“Three thousand Nubians,” Nefertiti replied.

“I would have thought you would have been wary of them as spies,” I said cautiously.

“The Nubians are more loyal than half of Egypt,” Akhenaten sneered. “They are loyal not just to me, but to the glory of Aten. There is only one god of Egypt.” He looked to Nefertiti. “The god who granted us the Horus crowns.”

Nefertiti had total sway over him now. Us.

She leaned her head against his arm and rested her hand on her belly.

It was an easy birth, like the first and the second, and I wondered how many more I would attend before I crossed the threshold of my own birthing pavilion. I told myself that I was going to leave as soon as the child came, but I couldn’t be jealous of my sister’s happiness when I saw the little infant pressed against her breast.

A third princess. Three girls in a row.

The herald announced the child’s name. Ankhesenpaaten, meaning “She Who Lives for the Glory of Aten,” and when I saw the tears of joy in Akhenaten’s eyes, I could not stop the bitter voice that asked why he deserved a child and Nakhtmin did not.

“What are you thinking?” my mother asked quietly.

I watched Nefertiti surrounded by her family. Akhenaten, Meritaten, Meketaten, and now the infant princess Ankhesenpaaten. All of them named after the god of the sun, a god no one understood but them. “You can guess,” I replied, pressing my lips together.

“It will only eat away at you.”

My father and Tiye came up behind us, embracing me sympathetically.

“Aren’t I the one who just had the child?” Nefertiti exclaimed. “What did she do besides sit and watch?”

Tiye passed me a look, then went to see the new Princess of Egypt. “Great Osiris.” My aunt looked over at me. “She has Mutnodjmet’s color. And the same shape of her eyes.”

My mother and father moved quickly to the bedside to see whether this was true, but I stayed where I was, too upset to see anything.

“She does,” my mother exclaimed.

Nefertiti beamed proudly at me. “Come. She looks just like you,” she said.

Pharaoh clenched his jaw as I bent over his third child and peered into her face. Then I smiled up at him. “Yes, just what my own daughter might have looked like. Had she not been killed.”

“He is furious with you.” The anger on her face froze the guards in their positions. But I refused to care.

“Then let him be furious!”

Nefertiti sat up and hissed, “You should never have said that! No one in Amarna believes such a thing.”

“Because no one in Amarna is foolish enough to tell you the truth. But I will not lie! I am going home.”

“To Thebes?” she cried, scrambling out of bed in the birthing pavilion. I shouldn’t have let her. She held on to my arm to pull me back. “Don’t go. Please don’t go, Mutnodjmet. You can’t leave me like this.”

“Like what?” I demanded. For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t answer.

Then she replied, “So vulnerable. Akhenaten never goes to see Kiya when I’m pregnant. He will go to her now.”

I couldn’t do this anymore. Be her spy, play her games, want what she wanted. I moved to go again.

“Mutnodjmet, please!” She scrambled so that her legs became twisted in the linens. “I can’t do this without you.”

“What exactly do you do?” I asked scornfully. “You don’t till the land, you don’t fish the Nile, you don’t fight to keep the Hittites at bay the way Tiye did when this was truly an empire.”

“No! I play the goddess to the people!” she cried. “I play the savior of this kingdom when masses of Egyptian soldiers want to revolt and are stopped only when I can convince them that Aten has spoken through me and assured them of prosperity. I am the one who must hold the puppet strings in this play, and only Father”—her lower lip began to tremble—“only Father knows how hard and tiring that is.”

She closed her eyes and the tears hung suspended on the edge of her lashes. “Please. Stay with me. Just for a while.”

“Not forever,” I warned her.