I feel I don't need to belong to any organized group folks, yet I could … just to have some fun examining them.
I feel I could speak more languages, yet now bound to the two, with one sounding so familiar … Did I relearn one of those ?
I feel I could sometimes feel people's emotions flowing around me, unseen by others.
I feel humans do not yet know the inner power they hold, for this knowledge could be dangerous.
I feel the paths of all ones intertwine in a strange ways and there are no random events.
I feel we are all have creativity of some origin, yet many ones buried it to look sane.
I feel some interesting events marking the future of this world are yet to come.
I feel we all have to be better if we are to survive.
I feel I will always be somewhat 'out of touch' there, yet I can accept the laws most ones live with … just in case.
I feel somewhat like a child now, yet my mind is of elder.
I feel I will never stop seeking the wisdom, nor do I want to.
I feel I could walk the different direction, yet finally my destination would be the same.
I feel I am still human on the surface - and that is for the better.
I feel my path does never truly end, yet I am glad.
I feel I am being guided, yet cannot see the guide.
I feel I am not the only one who feels like this, yet those ones are few.
I feel I could say more … yet this is sufficient.
I feel I must keep silence … for now.
Illusions of crowds
You like judging so greatly that it seems as if you know everything of anything in the world around. You are so afraid of admitting own ignorance to anybody ! Probably, you already possess answers to all questions of life … or have you simply ceased searching for them ? Oh, yes – someone else have answered for you ! And thus you allowed them to decide your own destiny.
Certainly, you can console yourselves that you are neither the first, nor the last ones. That there are many ones, similar to you in our distressful world. That all people deceive, dissemble, steal, talk scandal, envy, sneer … Oh, if only such self-justifications had any power at all ! But if someone chooses to go and act together with the majority – whether he doesn’t become its integral part, sharing common responsibility for the choice of crowds ? But it’s so comfortable for many to feel themselves like a small screw, a pawn in a big crowd !
How many leaders of crowds has this world seen ? All of them sank into oblivion. Yet the stream of new solvers-for-you, apparently, isn’t going to run low at all. It will never extinguish until you learn to decide for yourselves, listening to a low whisper of own souls. But are people even capable to listen ?
You followed your leaders, destroying everything in your wake and trying to build something new on newly created ruins. You were ready to crucify others for the illusion of belief. For the sake of the next new idea, seeming so attractive to you, you destroyed thousands and thousands of innocent lives of your neighbors. Probably, it was worthwhile in your own opinions, yes ? Was it required to express internal contents of souls to understand all absurd of attempts of changing of others without changing yourselves first and foremost ? But whether it’s in your powers to revive those who have once been killed by you ?
You listen to each and everybody, yourself being excluded. And even when you listen to “yourselves” – you keep hearing only an echo of decisions, imposed to you by others. But these decisions seem to you as ones coming from your own clarity of spirit … if only it was that way ! For this particular reason you continue sleeping with your eyes open widely, and behold dreams filled with a dope of your endless desires of this, that, and-most-certainly- that-thing-as-well. After all, your life will become so defective without all these infinite things, seizing your consciousness ! And that way you gain at least a new subject for yet another conversation about nothing with your colleagues by a dream.
Until we dive in ourselves so deeply as it’s even possible, having learned own spiritual nature, we won’t be able to truly wake up. We will instead continue to operate and move like dummies for puppet leaders. We will keep thinking like them as if by a template; believing only in what they trust; dreaming of what it’s allowed to dream. But where will such “dreams” once lead us ?
You will never awaken until you are a part of a crowd. The crowd isn’t capable to realize own illusions. One can fly up over the crowd, but will never creep under its feet. It’s useless to belittle crowds to behave reasonably. It’s impractical to count on collective conscious of crowds. Crowds dissipate naturally when each and every person in them gains his own identity. Crowds of unsleeping ones do not exist at all.
The task of own awakening lies on everyone. No one else is capable to pass your own path – for that reason it cannot be passed while you are still a part of crowd. And you better not postpone these tasks for later. There is much less time remaining, that many of you would prefer to think.
In the New World
When was that?
Sometimes it seems to me that all this has happened several minutes ago, even though long twenty years passed since these days. This is not a fairy tale – in any sense. This is a story of my life, its mysterious and unforgettable part, its guiding shining star. The beginning of my new journey in this world. If you would like – solar rebirth.
Our memory always keeps for us the most remembered and wondrous moment of life. And today, after almost twenty years, I still remember very clearly that brightest month. They, those days, clearly reveal before me – whenever I wish it, my memory repeats them for me in brightest details – each and every day from several dozens. Sometimes it even seems to me that some special sort of memory is holding these events … They remained in my heart – those days.
Now I am remembering those moments once again, and tears are sliding on my cheeks … These are tears of grief and joy, my friends. Each day and every hour is so clear …
* * *
“John, it’s time for you to go home!” - and worried mother appeared on a porch.
But the boy did not hear her – he was far away. They together with Jim and Laura – little girl from the same city quarter were lapping in the river. They were scooping with their childish palms handfuls of water and with all available for them power were throwing them into each other, pouring over with a sparkling water stream.
Here he grasped flowing water with both his hands and threw it directly into Jim, having poured all his face from top to the bottom. Then Jim, who was still throwing streams of water into laughing Laura, has somehow put a hand on water surface – and an instant later a whole water whirlwind has encircled him. A water shield has risen around Jim. He himself was turning in a water and beating it with hands – and streams flied in different directions from him, touching both the right (whom a Laura can be considered by right – for after all it was not she who have begun this attack on him!) ones, as well as guilty ones – meaning John, who had imprudence to pour over this water champion Jim and was not, being poured by uninterrupted water streams, have already felt sorrow for such a precipitate state.
However this new water barrier and flying water streams, have, apparently, inspired all of them only more – they were laughing and pouring each other, no longer closing faces with hands from water streams, rushing in every direction by totally unpredictable trajectories, being sent by this or that party. Gradually he together with Laura, who have come to the rescue against this Loch Ness monster Jim, began to push him more and more to a coast –
