“God,” he said. “If I knew that,
I’d know
everything.”
“You’re sort of an addictive
personality,” Rita
said.
“Booze?” Jesse said.
“And Jenn.”
Jesse nodded slowly.
“And Jenn,” he said.
“You’ve stopped drinking,” Rita
said.
Jesse was silent, listening to his breathing, and Rita’s.
“I know,” Jesse said.
They lay still, passionless, their naked bodies touching pleasantly. Rita seemed perfectly comfortable without her clothes on.
“Maybe you can break the addiction to Jenn,” Rita
said.
“I love her,” Jesse said.
“Jesus Christ,” Rita said. “You
invoke that phrase as if you’d
discovered the double helix. Love is an emotion, like any other.
You can get over it, like you do anger or fear, or hatred.”
“I love her,” Jesse said. “If I
can be with her, I will
be.”
“So,” Rita said,
“what’s the plan? You fuck me until you can be with her?”
“Hell, Rita, I don’t have a
plan,” Jesse said. “I’m just hanging on.”
“That shrink you know,” Rita said.
“What does he say
aboutJenn?”
“He says that I do my job, that I have women I care about, who
care about me, that my life moves right along, so why do I need Jenn?”
“And your answer?”
“You won’t like it,” Jesse said.
Rita grimaced.
“‘Because I love
her’?” Rita said.
Jesse nodded.
“And you don’t love me,” Rita
said.
“Actually I do,” Jesse said.
“It’s just that I love Jenn
more.”
Rita was quiet for a time.
“If you and Jenn ever get together, why couldn’t we love each
other, too?” Rita said. “Part-time, so to speak.”
“Rita, I don’t know what’s going
to happen after I get off this
couch, let alone who I’ll be in a month or a year.”
