Savard was laying out body armor and sorting rounds of ammunition in the small weapons room next to the main command center when Cam found her.
'Everything in order?'
Savard glanced up at her and nodded. 'Yes ma'am. Locked and loaded.'
'Good,' Cam replied, leaning against the doorway, her arms folded over her chest. 'About tonight,' she began.
'Yes?' Savard replied, studying her, noting the hard stillness in her eyes. There was a finality there that told her whatever was coming was not going to be negotiable.
'Ellen Grant is mine,' Cam said quietly. 'No one is going to order her into danger except me.'
Savard thought about that. She could go to Doyle now and tell him that there was a conflict in command, because she knew that he expected to control Grant's movements. Roberts was giving her a choice. Which meant that she was also giving her the responsibility, and the accountability. Once they reached the rendezvous, there would just be the four of them. Grant, Roberts, her and - Loverboy. It came down to who she wanted to make the final call, and whose judgment she wanted to rely on in the heat of the moment.
'You'll be the senior agent in the field, Commander,' she said quite clearly. 'I have no problem with you making the call.'
Cam nodded and straightened up. She still needed to go over the com links with Mac, and then review the construction plans they had received from the city planning office for the amusement park. She needed-
'Commander?' Savard said, breaking into her thoughts.
'Yes?' Cam asked.
'You'll need to be fresh, too, and you haven't had much sleep the last couple of days.'
Cam raised an eyebrow, surprised by her frankness.
'There's still a few hours before we have to gear up,' Savard remarked.
'I'll take that under advisement,' Cam said. 'Thank you, Agent.'
Savard took one step forward, reached to touch her, then stopped. 'We're all trained for this. It must be very difficult for someone who isn't - the uncertainty of it all.' She hesitated, then added, 'She'll need to hear that you'll be back.'
Cam stared at her, expressionless for what seemed like an interminable length of time, before a grin lifted one corner of her mouth. 'They certainly are not making FBI agents the way they used to.'
Savard grinned back. 'No, ma'am, they're not.'
Chapter thirty-six
18:00
For the third time in as many days, Cam stood at Blair's door, knowing that when she crossed the threshold, her life would change. Each time she stepped outside of her comfortable world of regulations and routine to enter the uncertain arena of her relationship with Blair, she came away more deeply bound to her. It wasn't easy, but she couldn't deny that she wanted it. More than that, she couldn't deny that she needed it.
Blair opened the door and said softly, 'Hi.'
'Hi,' Cam said, not yet moving to enter. Blair looked tired and that was unusual for her. There were smudges of fatigue under her eyes and the smile she offered Cam was tinged with sadness. Cam reached out and ran her fingertips over Blair's cheek. 'Have you slept?'
Blair shook her head. 'I meant to, but I couldn't stop thinking.'
'You should try,' Cam said gently. 'It's going to be a long night.'
'I know,' Blair answered softly. She wanted to reach out to her, to pull her inside. But she also knew that she wanted tokeep her inside, away from the night, away from the danger, and that wasn't her choice to make. It hurt to think that Cam would not choose safety over responsibility, even for her. So she stood waiting, wondering what it was that Cam really wanted. Finally she said, 'I wasn't sure you would come.'
Cam lifted her fingers briefly to Blair's face again. 'I'm sorry you didn't know that,' she murmured. 'I'm sorry for the pain of all of this.'
'No,' Blair said quickly. 'That's not your doing. It never has been.'
'I could have done things differently,' Cam said softly. 'Between us.'
Blair smiled at that, a faint fond smile. 'Could you have?'
Cam shook her head. 'No. But Iwish that I could have, so as not to hurt you.'
'That just might be enough,' Blair admitted, because she couldn't imagine which part of Cam could be changed without destroying some essential element of her. She feared that to change her would be to lose her.
'Blair,' Cam said urgently, 'I want you to know'
Blair stopped her with her fingers on her lips. 'Will you come in now?'
Cam kissed her fingertips. 'Yes.'
'Can you stay?' she asked again.
'For a little while.'
