Having it makes me not feel so bad for stopping for Rupert, if for no other reason than to have this weapon.
As we walk in silence, the snow pouring down all around us, the world is incredibly still. I hear only the sound of the snow crunching beneath our feet, and the distant lapping of the waves. The late afternoon sky is a solid gray. We’ve only been gone for ten minutes, and in that time, the fresh snow has reached my ankles.
I am on guard as we go, one hand on the knife on my belt. We’ve crossed half the length of the island, and still no sign of anything. This island is like a miniature forest, covered in thick trees, no signs of any structures or any people, or even of any recent activity. I’m feeling increasingly safe, increasingly at ease.
In the distance I spot the far tip of the island, and continue to work my way towards it, weaving in and out of clumps of trees. Once we reach it I’ll be much relieved, knowing for sure that there’s no one else here and that we can rest easy tonight. Yet at the same time, if I don’t find any supplies, anything I can salvage, I’ll be disappointed, knowing I’m returning empty-handed to Rose, who is laying there dying.
I scour the trees again, looking for any sign of food, of anything. I stop in my tracks, and Ben stops beside me. I stand there, listening, for several seconds. But all I hear is the deep sound of silence. I close my eyes and listen, and can hear the sound of the snowflakes falling, touching my skin, and beyond that, the very light lapping of the river against the shore. I wait sixty seconds. Still nothing. It is as if we are completely alone in a prehistoric universe.
“ Why are we stopped?” Ben asks.
I open my eyes and continue walking. We walk in silence for several more minutes, heading towards the tip of the island.
The more we walk, the more I begin to wonder about Ben. I can’t help wondering what exactly happened to him back there, in Manhattan. What happened to his brother. I wonder if I can get him to open up. It sure seems as if he needs to.
“ Don’t beat yourself up so much,” I say to him, breaking the silence. “I mean, your falling asleep back there: it could happen to any of us.”
“ But it didn’t. It happened to me,” he shoots back. “It was my fault. It’s my fault that Rose is hurt.”
“ Guilt and blame isn’t going to help any of us now,” I say. “Nobody’s blaming you. I’m not.”
He shrugs, looking forlorn, as we continue to walk in silence.
“ Do you want to talk about it?” I finally ask, wanting to get it out in the open. “What happened to you in the city? Your brother? It might make you feel better to talk about it.”
I watch him as we walk. He looks down, as if thinking, then finally shakes his head no.
I tried. And I respect his privacy. I’m not sure I’d want to talk about it either, if I were in his shoes.
We reach the far end of the island, the trees opening to an open shore, covered in snow. I walk out to the tip and from here I have a sweeping view of the Hudson, in every direction. It is like a vast sea on all sides of us, huge chunks of ice hardening all around, snow falling down on it. It looks surreal, primordial. As the wind whips me in the face, I feel for a moment as if we’re the only ones left, castaways in a vast sea.
I scan the shores in every direction, looking for any signs of structures, of motion, movement. But I see none. It is as if the wilderness, without man left to impose upon it, has returned back upon itself.
As I stand there, on the shore, I notice something on the sand, sticking up through the snow. I take a few steps forward, reach down, and pick it up. It is green and glowing, and as I pick it up, I realize it’s a bottle-a large, glass bottle that must’ve washed up on shore.
I scour the rest of the shoreline, and see something else, glistening, bobbing in the water, brushing up against the shore. I hurry over and pick it up. It is an old, aluminum can.
I don’t know what to make of these things-it is hardly the treasure chest I hoped to find. But still, I’m sure we can make some use of them, and it’s at least something to bring them back.
I take a deep breath and turn around, preparing to head back. This time, I lead us back along the other side of the island, through a different grove of trees, in the hopes of finding something, anything.
We trudge silently back through the woods, and I feel disappointed that I didn’t find anything of use, yet also relieved that we have the island to ourselves. I begin to let down my guard as I realize that soon I will be back in the warmth of the cave. My hands and feet are becoming more frozen as we walk, and I bunch them and release, trying to circulate the blood. My legs are weary, and I’ll be happy to sit in the cave, and relax by a fire.
This makes me realize that we’ll need supplies to start a fire. I happily remember the matches and candles I salvaged from dad’s. But I realize we’ll also need kindling-dry branches, pine needles, whatever I can find. I also realize we should bring back pine branches to make the ground more comfortable for everyone.
“ Look for branches,” I say to Ben. “Dry branches. Small ones. Higher off the ground, not covered in snow. We need kindling. Also look for large branches with soft pine needles, to use on the floor.”
Ben walks a few feet behind me and doesn’t respond, but I know he’s heard me because he steps up to a tree, and I hear the cracking of a branch.
I spot a tree myself with a dry branch sticking out from it, and I reach up and snap it off. It’s perfect. With an armful of these, we can have a fire going all night.
Just as I’m walking to another tree, suddenly, I hear a twig snap. Ben stands right beside me, so I know he didn’t do it. My heart stops. We are being watched.
S E V E N
I spin around, in the direction of the snap, and I see motion. I freeze, my throat dry, as I realize what it is.
I can’t believe it. There, in plain sight, not even twenty yards away, are two deer. They stop and lift their heads and stare right at me.
My heart is pounding with excitement. This would be enough food to feed us all for days. I can’t believe our luck.
Without thinking, I grab my knife, step forward and hurl it, remembering the last time this worked.
But this time, my hands are too cold, and I miss. They take off, sprinting away.
I quickly pull the bow off my back, place an arrow between my fingers, and fire at the fleeing deer. But I’m even more clumsy with the bow, and the arrow lodges into a tree, nowhere near the deer.
“ Dammit!” I yell out. This is a small island, but they’re too fast. Without a gun, which I would never fire for fear of drawing attention, and without professional traps, I don’t see how we could ever catch them.
Suddenly, Ben steps forward, takes the bow from my hand, and one arrow. He takes three steps forward in front of me, holds the bow expertly, strings the arrow, holds out his chest, and then bides his time, following the deer, which now must be a good fifty yards away and bounding off. They are also zigzagging in and out between trees. It’s an impossible shot.
Ben releases, and the arrow goes flying through the air.
And then, to my amazement, there is the distant sound of arrow piercing flesh. I’m completely shocked, as I watch one deer fall.
I turn and look at Ben, my mouth hanging open. He stands there, not moving, and slowly lowers the bow. He looks sad, as if he regrets what he’s done.
“ You didn’t tell me,” I say in a hushed tone, “that you’re an expert shot.”
He turns and shrugs, as he hands back the bow.
“ You didn’t ask,” he says nonchalantly.
Ben turns and walks off, in the direction of the deer. I stand there, too frozen in surprise to know what to say.
I follow him, still trying to comprehend what just happened. I had no idea that Ben had any skills-much less, hunting skills. That was an unbelievable, one-of-a-kind shot. I had written him off, but now I realize how valuable Ben is. And as I watch him walk with a new bounce to his step, I realize that this episode did something to him. It seems like maybe it helped snap him out of it, give him a sense of pride, of purpose. For the first time, I feel as if he’s back with us, finally present, as a member of the team.
We both reach the deer, and stand over it. It lies on its side, blood oozing out into the snow, its legs still quivering. It was a perfect shot, right to its neck.
