On edge, I look around warily as we reach the mouth of the peninsula. We glide beside it as it curves inland. We are so close to shore now, passing a dilapidated water tower. We continue on and soon glide alongside the ruins of a town, right into the heart of it. Catskill. There are burnt-out buildings on all sides and it looks like it’s been hit by a bomb.
We are all on edge as we make our way slowly up the inlet, getting deeper inland, the shore now feet away as it narrows. We are exposed to ambush, and I find myself unconsciously reaching down and resting my hand on my hip, on my knife. I notice Logan do the same.
I check back over my shoulder for Ben; but he is still in a nearly catatonic state.
“ Where’s the truck?” Logan asks, an edge to his voice. “I’m not going too deep inland, I’ll tell you right now. If anything happens, we need to be able to get out to the Hudson, and fast. This is a death trap,” he says, warily eyeing the shore.
I eye it, too. But the shore is empty, desolate, frozen over with no humanity in sight as far as the eye can see.
“ See there,” I say, pointing. “That rusted shed? It’s inside.”
Logan drives us another thirty yards or so, then turns for the shed. There is an old crumbling dock, and he’s able to pull the boat up, feet from shore. He kills the engine, grabs the anchor and throws it overboard. He then grabs the rope from the boat, makes a loose knot at one end, and throws it to a rusted metal post. It catches and he pulls us in all the way, tightening it, so we can walk onto the dock.
“ Are we getting out?” Bree asks.
“ I am,” I say. “Wait for me here, with the boat. It’s too dangerous for you to go. I’ll be back soon. I’ll bury Sasha. I promise.”
“ No!” she screams. “You promised we would never be apart again. You promised! You can’t leave me here alone! You CAN’T!”
“ I’m not leaving you alone,” I answer, my heart breaking. “You’ll be here with Logan, and Ben, and Rose. You’ll be perfectly safe. I promise.”
But Bree stands and to my surprise, she takes a running jump across the bow, and jumps onto the sandy shore, landing right in the snow.
She stands ashore, hands on her hips, glaring back at me defiantly.
“ If you’re going, I’m going too,” she states.
I take a deep breath, seeing she’s resigned. I know that when she gets like this, she means it.
It will be a liability, having her, but I have to admit, a part of me feels good having her in my sight at all times. And if I try to talk her out of it, I’ll just waste more time.
“ Fine,” I say. “Just stay close the entire time. Promise?”
She nods. “I promise.”
“ I’m scared,” Rose says, looking over at Bree, wide-eyed. “I don’t want to leave the boat. I want to stay here, with Penelope. Is that okay?”
“ I want you to,” I say to her, silently refusing to take her, too.
I turn to Ben, and he turns and meets my eyes with his mournful ones. The look in them makes me want to look away, but I force myself not to.
“ Are you coming?” I ask. I hope he says yes. I’m annoyed at Logan for staying here, for letting me down, and I could really use the backup.
But Ben, still clearly in shock, just stares back. He looks at me as if he doesn’t comprehend. I wonder if he’s fully registering all that’s happening around him.
“ Are you coming?” I ask more forcefully. I don’t have the patience for this.
Slowly, he shakes his head, withdrawing. He’s really out of it, and I try to forgive him-but it’s hard.
I turn to leave the boat, and jump onto shore. It feels good to have my feet on dry land.
“ Wait!”
I turn and see Logan get up from the driver seat.
“ I knew some crap like this would happen,” he says.
He walks across the boat, gathering his stuff.
“ What are you doing?” I ask.
“ What do you think?” he asks. “I’m not letting you two go alone.”
My heart swells with relief. If it were just me I wouldn’t care as much-but I am thrilled to have another set of eyes to watch Bree.
He jumps off the boat, and onto shore.
“ I’m telling you right now, this is a stupid idea,” he says, as he lands besides me. “We should keep moving. It will be night soon. The Hudson can freeze. We could get stuck here. Not to mention the slaverunners. You’ve got 90 minutes, understand? 30 minutes in, 30 there, and 30 back. No exceptions, for any reason. Otherwise, I’m leaving without you.”
I look back at him, impressed and grateful.
“ Deal,” I say.
I think of the sacrifice he just made, and I am beginning to feel something else. Behind all his posturing, I am beginning to feel that Logan really likes me. And he’s not as selfish as I thought.
As we turn to go, there’s another shuffling on the boat.
“ Wait!” Ben cries out.
I turn and look.
“ You guys can’t leave me here alone with Rose. What if someone comes? What am I supposed to do?
“ Watch the boat,” Logan says, turning again to leave.
“ I don’t know how to drive it!” Ben yells out. “I don’t have any weapons!”
Logan turns again, annoyed, reaches down, takes one of the guns off a strap from his thigh, and chucks it to him. It hits him hard in the chest, and he fumbles with it.
“ Maybe you’ll learn how to use it,” Logan sneers, as he turns away again.
I get a good look at Ben, who stands there, looking so helpless and afraid, holding a gun he barely seems to know how to use. He seems absolutely terrified.
I want to comfort him. To tell him everything will be OK, that we’ll be back soon. But as I turn away and look up at the vast mountain range before us, for the first time, I am not so sure that we will.
T W O
We walk quickly through the snow and I look anxiously at the darkening sky, feeling the pressure of time. I glance back over my shoulder, see my footprints in the snow, and beyond them, standing there in the rocking boat, Ben and Rose, watching us wide-eyed. Rose clutches Penelope, equally afraid. Penelope barks. I feel bad leaving the three of them there, but I know our mission is necessary. I know we can salvage supplies and food that will help, and I feel we have a comfortable jump on the slaverunners.
I hurry to the rusted shed, covered in snow, and yank open its crooked door, praying that the truck I hid inside ages ago is still there. It was an old rusted pickup, on its last legs, more scrap than car, with only about an eighth tank of fuel left in it. I stumbled across it one day, in a ditch off Route 23, and hid it here, carefully down by the river, in case I ever needed it. I remember being amazed when it actually turned over.
The shed door opens with a creak, and there it is, as well hidden as it was on the day I stashed it, still covered with the hay. My heart swells with relief. I step forward and pull the hay back, my hands cold as I touch the freezing metal. I go to the back of the shed and pull open the double barn doors, and light comes flooding in.
“ Nice wheels,” Logan says, walking up behind me, surveying it. “You sure it runs?”
“ No,” I say. “But my dad’s house is a good twenty miles away, and we can’t exactly hike.”
I can tell from his tone that he really doesn’t want to be on this mission, that he wants to be back in the boat, moving upriver.
I jump into the driver seat and search the floor for the key. I finally feel it, hidden deep. I put it in the ignition, take a deep breath and close my eyes.
