“But Doozy—
Baby Boss disappeared in a sour flit of green smoke, leaving only the smell of ozone behind.
“Ha!” Doozy cried, shouldering her weapon and turning about-face. “Now to deal with the rest of the Underground Hamsters!”
The cave roof, with a tremendous roar, collapsed around her—
“Oh, shit—” Doozy said.
~ * ~
REEL NINETEEN
~ * ~
“Ha! That was close!” Doozy Chicken effused, brushing dirt, along with the remains of a housing project that had been built above the hamster cave, from her sleek brown feathers.
She stood in Hamster Central, the tip of her wing pressing the Underground Hamster Alarm, which would bring all of the hamsters scurrying to what they thought would be a meeting called by Baby Boss.
“A meeting with their own doom!” Doozy amended, throwing her head back to cluck a laugh.
There was the roar of tiny feet, and the many tunnels leading into Hamster Central were suddenly filled with hamsters armed with atomic pistols—the new, and deadly, Platinum Model. Hate glowed in their tiny mammalian eyes.
And there, pushing his way through the furry crowd in the largest cave opening, and armed with nothing less than a golden Hydrogen Rifle, the most powerful weapon in the Universe, was Baby Boss himself!
“But I—” Doozy clucked in stupefaction.
“Yes, you vaporized me—
He lowered the yawning foot-wide barrel of the Hydrogen Rifle toward Doozy.
“And now,” he cried in triumph, “chicken dinner!”
There came a tremendous roar, and the ceiling of Hamster Central, recently upgraded with what Baby Boss had thought were infallible reinforced concrete arches, providing a dome as smooth as that on St. Peter’s Basilica, and on which had been painted by Spiffy beautiful and colorful scenes of hamster life which, in their intricacy and inspired imagination, rivaled those of that great Michelangelo work, collapsed around them.
“Oh, shit!” everyone said.
~ * ~
REEL THIRTY-NINE
~ * ~
Spiffy said, “I think it was a mistake to leave our Underground headquarters.”
The steel in the hamster’s voice made Baby Boss look away from the port window of Space Station One, where he had been dreamily watching the pinpoint beauty of the stars. “It had to be done,” he said at last. “We had to take this war to Space.”
“But—”
Baby fixed his subordinate with a cold gaze. “The final battle will be fought in the heavens.” He threw a paw out to point through the porthole. “It is here that the fate of hamsters and chickens will be decided.”
Spiffy lowered his head and nodded. “It’s just that…”
Baby let his paw drift to rest on the younger man’s shoulder. “I know. You miss your underground life.”
“Yes.”
“It can’t be helped.” Baby’s gaze wandered back to the porthole, and the beautiful vista beyond, white tiny diamond chips against a background of black velvet. “Soon,” he said, and it was as much sigh as conviction.
~ * ~
Space Station One had been designed to mimic, as closely as possible, the labyrinthine cave lair of the Underground Hamsters. It consisted of a series of steel tunnels radiating from a central hub which, except for its Spartan metal nature, resembled nothing so much as Hamster Central. The dome overhead exhibited a half-finished mural of colorful hamster life.
And, when the Hamster Alarm was sounded, as it was now, the response was no different than it had been on Earth: all hamsters had been summoned, and they ran as fast as their furry feet would carry them to the meeting hall.
Only now when they ran into Hamster Space Central, they converged on the laughing, clucking figure of Doozy Chicken, who stood with the tip of her wing pressed tightly to the alarm!
“You!” Baby Boss gasped. “How—?”
Doozy held up her wing for silence, and then covered her form in the tight fitting latex costume which had gained her entrance to Space Station One. With the body mask in place, she looked exactly like Spiffy!
“But—?” Baby exclaimed.
Doozy clucked a hoarse grunt of pleasure, and pointed upward. All hamster eyes looked to the dome to see the dead, splayed figure of the real Spiffy, squashed between two cartoony hamster figures of his own manufacture—it looked as though he was holding hands with them!
“You fiend!” Baby growled.
“I could have killed you at the porthole,” Doozy shot back. Her eyes gleamed red fire. “But the rules of Space Battle forbade it! But now—!”
She produced her Magic Umbrella, in green-glowing battle mode, from it’s hidden holster secreted in the feathers of her back.
Someone behind Baby Boss tossed him his massive golden Hydrogen Rifle, the most powerful weapon in the Universe, and he cradled its smooth lines against his fur covered ribs as he raised its foot-wide maw of destruction and aimed it in Doozy’s direction.
“Yes, now!” Baby said, preparing to pull the trigger.
Space Station One trembled and convulsed, and the domed ceiling collapsed in a groaning, vacuum-of-space inducing pile of wreckage around them.
“Oh, shit,” Baby said—
~ * ~
REEL NINETY-THREE
~ * ~
“I can’t believe we’re back on the planet Pluto,” Spiffy said. He waved his atomic paintbrush in the air for emphasis. The night sky, black as ink, the faraway dot of the Sun, a lonely cold beacon, all of it was so alien!
“Yes, and I’m particularly glad that we’ve been able to reconstitute you in Cyber form, Spiffy!” Baby Boss put a fatherly paw on the younger hamster’s shoulder. “You always were one of my favorites—and a heck of an artist!”
They shared a chirp of hamster laughter before Cyber Spiffy climbed back up into the massive rigging of catwalks crisscrossing the Pluto Dome, half finished, which, when completed, would ape both Hamster Central on Earth and the lately destroyed Hamster Space Central. Since the soil of Pluto was rock hard, making it impossible to make an underground abode, it had been decided to build a series of above ground tunnels, all leading to Hamster Pluto Central. It would be, in effect, Hamster Space Central lay gently on the ground of the ninth planet.
Baby Boss sighed in satisfaction, and prepared to push the Hamster Pluto Alarm.
“Stop!” It was the voice of Doozy Chicken, broadcast from her Chicken Rocket, which now swooped sleekly in through the open ceiling of the dome and settled in a susurrus of smoke and dying fire next to the waiting Baby.
“Bring me my Hydrogen Rife!” Baby exclaimed, and Cyber Spiffy scrambled down the scaffolding to obey.
“That won’t be necessary!” Doozy cried, jumping from the lowering rocket gangplank to stand beside Baby. There was a strange look in her eyes. “The war is over!”
“What!” answered Baby, dumbfounded. He saw that Doozy’s holster had been taken from its secret hiding spot in her feathers and was empty.
Doozy suddenly took Baby in her arms, and kissed him!
With shock and relief, Baby found himself kissing her back!
