'There were at least two other recent traumas to the head. There's a chance you might be in some trouble. Head injuries are nothing to mess with.'
'Trouble?'
'In addition to headaches you might have problems with memory, short term and long term. There could be depression, post traumatic stress, your behavior could become unpredictable…but now as I think of it, I'm not sure how that would be any different than it usually is.'
'Those are all 'coulds''.
'They're likely,' Rudy said. He was sweating.
'For how long?' I said.
Rudy didn't say anything.
'C'mon, Rudy-how long?'
'It might not even happen…'
'Or…'
'It might be chronic…'
'Chronic-plain language, Rudy!'
'You might be fucked up forever,' Rudy said.
19
They let me out of the hospital the next morning with a pretty good headache and even better broken heart. The other thing that ached pretty good was the fact I got whacked over the head by a couple of G.I. Joe types and I had no idea why. I started to give Rudy's scary message about being forever fucked up some credence because I started to think everything had to do with Karl, just like he said it did. That, in itself, scared me. I began to fear I wasn't too far away from getting my own Redskins helmet. Of course, if I was as screwy as Karl, I would've been wearing one and when the guys whacked me on the head it wouldn't have harmed me. Karl was crazy, but just because you're paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get you.
My new roommate, Karl, and I got to the Moody Blue. He got to see first hand what it's like getting assaulted by an 85 pound basset hound. When we opened the door Al, went double nuts at the prospect of his company increasing by 100 %. He jumped at me and pushed me back and then went after Karl.
Karl dove on the floor on his back and lay perfectly still. Al went over and began to sniff Karl's crotch and ass. Karl just stared at the ceiling.
'Karl, buddy, what the hell are you doing?' Al's nose did double duty over my new roommate's privates.
'Two things, Duff.' Karl kept his eyes focused straight up at the ceiling while he spoke. 'First I got into a submissive position to let him know I wasn't threatening his territory and I just wanted to offer my genitals so he could get to know me.'
'Excuse me?' Before I could get an explanation Karl was up on all fours sticking his nose dangerously close to Al's ass.
'Now, he's returning the favor and offering me his scent.'
'Trust me, he's very generous with his scent.' Karl made exaggerated sniffing sounds around Al's business end. Al maintained a very concentrated and stoic look. Then, he turned and rolled over on his back. Karl sniffed him from head to toe.
This had become an olfactory runaway train and nothing I could do to stop it.
'This is his way of saying we can be friends,' Karl said.
'I guess I'm more of a 'Hey, go fetch my slippers' kind of guy.'
'Typical species-centric attitude. Like all creatures are here to serve humans.'
'Don't worry about Al's servitude. He's never gotten my slippers once, mostly because I don't own slippers. Trust me on this one-Al hasn't embraced the whole master-servant deal.'
'You go brother-sticking it to the man!' Karl said. In my home for ten minutes, and already trying to lead an uprising. I got a beer, cracked it open, and it dawned on me I was drinking a beer in front of one of my addicted clients. I thought about it some more and figured he was living in my house-it was up to him to live by rules. I could get fired for him living here, so drinking a beer in front of him wouldn't really add anything of consequence.
'Karl, this whole 'sticking it to the man' thing…do you ever let up on it? I mean is everything a matter of the world out to get you?' I sipped the Schlitz.
'Look man, I appreciate you hooking me up in your crib, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm opening up everything in my life to you. Suffice to say, I've got enough evidence of the man fuckin' with me and everyone else.'
'But what about all this prediction stuff. I mean you say these general things and then shit happens. You got information t no one else has?'
'Maybe I do and maybe I don't. When you've been through what I've been through, more of it becomes transparent. Then, you can't help but see it.'
'Someday can you maybe fill me in?'
'I don't know, Duff.' Karl turned away and stared at the wall. Al slurped the whole left side of his face. Karl focused his attention on Al and away from his history with the man.
'Hey Karl, these guys who jacked me in the back of the head-that has something to do with all this right?'
'Did they take any money from you? Do you owe some service men money? Did you screw some Army guy's wife?'
'No.'
'Then what do you think it was all about?'
'…and you're not going to tell me the details…'
'If I did it wouldn't make us any safer.' Then, things got a little odd.
First my vision blurred a little like I wasn't there, but there at the same time. I got a clammy cold feeling and felt a little sick to my stomach. At the same time my heart started to race and it became hard to breathe. My field of vision locked on Karl playing with Al, but something came over me. I felt like something awful could happen, but I had no idea what. It felt real, but I knew it wasn't. My body overrode any logic and it knew something bad was going to happen. My chest hurt and I couldn't catch up with my breathing. I felt cold, but I felt sweat on my forehead and running down my face. I could taste something bad at the back of my throat.
'Duffy!' I felt a hand on my forehead. 'Stop. It's me. Karl. You're all right. It's just a flashback.' I felt something help me sit down on the couch and I felt my breathing rev up again.
'Duffy, focus in on your breathing and nothing else. Don't fight the thoughts or the emotions, let them do their thing. Just breathe.'
'What the fuck is happening?'
'Don't fight it. It's a flashback.'
'What the fuck?'
'Breathe it out.'
I listened to Karl. With nothing better to do, I breathed. The feeling of out-of-controlness got a little better. I stopped hyperventilating and my vision began to clear. Karl sat next to me, holding my hand, and Al was staring at me.
'Welcome back.'
'What was that?'
'That's one of the hallmarks of PTSD. You just had a flashback. It's kind of a waking nightmare. Have you been getting nightmares?'
'On and off.'
'Yeah, I thought so. These things really suck.'
'I'll say.'
