Nocturnal: A Novel

lots of pedestrian traffic, saw a cop car or something else that would make his constant pursuers break off and wait for another chance.

Today was not a lucky day.

They’d been waiting for him after school. They knew which path he took to walk home. Sometimes he’d go fifteen or twenty blocks out of his way, taking different, random streets, but this time he just wanted to get back to his room.

That fat, ugly meth-head April Sanchez had seen his drawing. April bought her drugs from Alex. She was rich. Rex hated her. She’d recognized the people in the drawing and said she was going to tell Alex. Rex had known, instantly, that he was in major trouble. April wanted to be Alex’s girlfriend. Something like the drawing was a chance to get Alex’s attention.

Rex had spent the last hour of school terrified, waiting for the bell to ring so he could get home fast. He should have gone away from his house, to one of his many hiding places, even to his favorite park, but in his fear he’d taken the direct route home.

Big mistake.

He’d made it two blocks when he saw them, all four of them, on the corner of Francisco and Van Ness. Their crimson, gold and white clothing stood out bright and clean in the afternoon sun. Rex instantly turned and ran back down Van Ness, past the football field, toward Aquatic Park. He should have run somewhere with more people, but he’d just run away.

They chased him. They laughed.

The four boys. Always the same four.

Jay Parlar … Issac Moses … Oscar Woody.

And the worst of them all, Alex Panos.

They caught him just past the parking lot that funneled the two divided three-car lanes of Van Ness Avenue into a normal two-lane road. An arm wrapped hard around his shoulders, a hand clamped over his mouth. The boys packed in close around him, carrying him.

Rex tried to yell for help, but the hand was too tight. The bay was off to his right, the greenery sloping up to Fort Mason on his left — and no one was around. They carried him to the left, into a shady spot, and threw him down on a dirt patch.

Rex tried to scramble up, but they surrounded him. Someone kicked him in the side and he fell. They dragged him behind a utility van parked beneath an overhanging tree, out of sight from the mostly unused street. He wound up on his back. Someone hit him in the face, once, twice, three times. His nose buzzed with a numb, confusing pain. Tears filled his eyes, making everything look shimmery and fluid. He was dumb enough to call out for help, then something hit him in the stomach and all wind left his body.

Someone sat on his chest, pinning him to the ground.

“I heard you were drawing fag pictures of me, you fucking faggot.”

Rex didn’t need to see; he knew that voice. Alex Panos. A deep voice, far deeper than it should be for a sophomore in high school, but still it cracked on the first syllable of drawing.

Rex tried to talk, to apologize, but he couldn’t pull in enough air to speak.

“Hey, here’s the drawing!” Jay Parlar’s voice. “Lookit, Alex. Hey, ha ha, I’m in it, watching you get your ass kicked. Wow, I look totally scared.”

“Gimme,” Alex said.

Rex blinked away tears. He could see again. Oscar Woody was the one on his chest. Oscar’s curly-poofy black hair stuck out from beneath a white baseball cap with a gold-lined, crimson BC on the front. Above Oscar, standing there looking down — Alex Panos.

Alex, with his movie-star blond hair and his big strong body, a body that Rex would never have. Alex held an unfolded page from a sketch pad. He looked up. His eyes narrowed. He turned the drawing around, so Rex could see it.

Rex’s drawings were getting pretty good — no mistaking that Alex was the boy in the drawing, the boy getting his arm cut off with a chain saw held by a muscled version of Rex Deprovdechuk.

Alex smiled. “So you think you can kill me, faggot?”

Rex shook his head, the back of his head grinding against dirt, twigs and dried leaves.

Jay peeked over Alex’s shoulder. Sixteen years old and Jay already had a goatee, although it was as thin and red as the hair on his head. “Seriously, Alex, that’s a good drawing! Looks just like you!”

“Jay,” Alex said, “shut the fuck up.”

Jay’s shoulders drooped. He seemed to suddenly shrink from a five-foot-ten stud to a five-foot-six weakling. “Sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean nothing.”

Alex’s eyes never left Rex. Alex crumpled the paper, then tossed it aside.

“Boys,” he said, “hold his arm.”

Rex tried to scramble up, but Oscar was too heavy.

“Stay still, pussy,” Oscar said.

Someone grabbed Rex’s right wrist and yanked it hard, painfully stretching his arm. Rex looked at this attacker — blue-eyed Issac Moses, his strong hands locked on Rex’s little forearm.

“Jay,” Alex said, “go grab those two chunks of wood, I want to try something.”

Rex finally managed a few words. “I … won’t draw … anymore.”

“It’s too late for that,” Alex said. He looked to his right. “Yeah, those are the ones. Put a chunk under his elbow, and the other one under his wrist.”

Rex felt something hard shoved under his elbow, raising it a few inches off the leaf-scattered dirt. He watched Jay slide a piece of wood under his wrist, then looked up at the surprised face of Issac Moses, who had yet to release his hold on Rex’s arm. Issac’s mouth was always turned down, and his nose seemed too small for his face.

“Oh man, don’t do this,” Issac said. “That’s going to hurt him bad.”

Alex’s smile faded. He looked hard at Issac.

“Shut up and keep holding him,” Alex said. “If you don’t, you’re next.”

Issac’s mouth opened, perhaps to say something, then he closed it and looked down.

Alex took a step forward. His feet straddled Rex’s elevated arm. Alex looked like a towering god, blond hair hanging down, a few locks gleaming from the beams of late-afternoon sun filtering through the tree’s shade.

“I have to teach you a lesson, Rex. I have to teach you about pain.”

The tears flowed. Rex couldn’t help it. “You guys hurt me all the time!”

Alex’s smile widened. “Oh, them was just love taps, faggot. You probably even liked it. Now? Now you get to learn about real pain.”

Alex weighed over two hundred pounds. He was bigger than most of the teachers. He raised his leg knee- high, letting his military boot hover above the center of Rex’s forearm. Alex smiled, then stamped down hard. Rex heard a muffled crunch sound, then had the odd sensation of feeling his forearm grind into the dirt while his wrist and elbow were still elevated a good two inches off the ground.

Then came the pain.

He looked before he cried out. His arm made a shallow V, an extra joint between his wrist and elbow. Oscar got off of Rex’s chest. He stood there, black curls puffed out from under his hat. Oscar was part of the circle that surrounded Rex, the circle that blocked out what little sun filtered through the overhanging tree, the circle that cast the wounded boy in complete shadow.

Tears streamed down Rex’s cheeks, down his chin, washing through the blood that smeared his face. It hurt so bad. His arm … it bent where it wasn’t supposed to bend.

Alex put his foot on Rex’s stomach.

“Tell anyone about this and you’re dead,” Alex said. “I know a hundred places to hide a body in this city. You got me, you little faggot?”

Overwhelmed with pain, humiliation and helplessness, Rex just cried. No one was coming to help him. No one ever would.

He wanted to hurt them.

He wanted to kill them.