Nocturnal: A Novel

He set the pad down a second time, then snuck a peek in his underwear — boner diffused. He felt better, but there was no point in trying to go back to sleep: he could still taste that kid’s hot blood in his mouth.

And it tasted good.

He pulled the bed’s comforter tight around his shoulders and stumbled to the living room, feeling a sudden urge to watch Creature Features on cable.

Pleasant Dreams

Rex woke suddenly, sat straight up in bed. His chest heaved, his face dripped with sweat that cooled in the night air.

In the dream, Rex hadn’t feared Oscar.

Oscar had feared Rex.

Then the grabbing, the biting, and that taste …

The taste of blood.

Rex pushed back the damp covers. The air cooled his sweaty skin. It also cooled a spot down there.

He looked to his bedroom door. It was closed. He looked at the clock — 3:14 A.M. Roberta would be asleep.

He pushed the covers down past his legs. In the alarm clock’s faint red light, he saw a darker spot on his underwear.

Rex reached down and touched.

Wet.

He looked at the door again. In his sleep, he had done the bad thing, the naughty thing. Would she find out? If she did, she would beat him.

Rex started to shake. He slid the underwear off, then stuffed them in the bottom of his book bag. He grabbed three sheets of Kleenex and cleaned himself up. Eyes constantly flicking to the door, he put on a fresh pair of underwear.

So weird that he’d dreamed about Oscar.

Rex quietly walked to his desk. A streetlight outside his window cast a dim glow on his most recent drawing — a pencil sketch of Rex using a sledgehammer to crush the skull of Oscar Woody.

How he wished that was reality, that he could strike back at them, make them pay. But drawings and dreams weren’t real life. Rex felt tears welling up in his eyes. He grabbed the paper, crumpled it into a ball and threw it in the trash.

He then crawled back into bed, his sheets still wet with his own sweat.

Rex threw his head down on the pillow and pulled the covers up tight. His eyes squeezed shut. Shaking and alone, he cried.

Bryan Clauser: Morning Person

The brown Buick cut across three lanes of traffic. Bryan covered his face, trying to ignore the chorus of horns sounding in the car’s wake.

“Jesus, Pooks. Try not to kill me before we go back on nights, will ya?”

“Pussy,” Pookie said. “Hey, I have some more ideas on our series bible.”

“It’s your TV show, Pooks, not ours. I’m not writing anything.”

“You’re an executive producer,” Pookie said. “No one knows what the hell executive producers do, anyway. Here’s my idea — we make the chief’s wife this smoking-hot MILF. She’s ignored by her work-obsessed husband, so to fulfill her need to feel sexy and wanted she uses her feminine wiles to tease the Young Rebel Detectives. But it backfires on her when the good-looking detective — based on me, of course — finally beds her with the Chang Bang.”

Bryan couldn’t help but laugh. The Chang Bang was from Pookie’s previous pet project, a coffee-table book called 69 Sex Positions the KamaSutra Forgot.

“Is the Chang Bang the one with the trapeze?”

“No, the trapeze is only used in Granger’s Golden Snitch. The Chang Bang is the one with the hula hoop and the semi-inverted angle on the bar stool.”

Bryan sighed and looked out the window. “The hula hoop. How could I forget?”

“Anyway, we check-mark-yes for hot sex scene, but we also get ongoing dramatic tension as our one-night fling turns into a torrent love affair.”

“Torrid.”

“What?”

“Torr-id, not torr-ent.”

“That too,” Pookie said. “The Staff Sergeant with the Heart of Gold finds out and tries to give wisdom to the Young Rebel Detective. And it makes things dicey between Young Rebel Detective and his nemesis, the Crotchety Old-Guard Chief of Police.”

“Your show seems to be more about sex than police work,” Bryan said. “You getting laid these days?”

Pookie shook his head. “Nope. I put Junior and the Twins into a hiatus while I work on the series bible.”

“Well, then maybe you should lay off the torrid scenes for a while, or you’re going to wind up with blue balls.”

Pookie’s head snapped to the right. He stared at Bryan. The car swerved into the left lane.

Bryan pointed at an oncoming truck. “Dude!”

Pookie saw the truck, slammed the Buick back into the proper lane as the truck shot by, horn blaring.

“Pooks, what the fuck?”

“Sorry,” he said. “But that’s it. You did it.”

“I did what?”

“Came up with the name.”

“Of?”

“Of the TV show,” Pookie said. “You know, the thing we’ve been talking about for the past fifteen minutes?”

“And that name is?”

“Blue Balls.”

It would have been a good joke, but the man looked serious. “Pooks, you’re going to name your TV show Blue Balls?”

Pookie nodded.

“You can’t name a show Blue Balls.”

“Like hell I can’t,” he said. “Half cop drama, half soft-core porn. Just think of all the classic TV shows that have lasted more than three seasons — which puts them into syndication, where the big bucks are, by the way — that have the word blue in the title. Hill Street Blues. NYPD Blue. Blue Bloods. Rookie Blue.”

“Those are cop terms,” Bryan said. “Blue balls has, like, a totally different meaning.”

“Right, it’s sexier. That means HBO might pick it up, then we can show titties. Holy shit, Bri-Bri, this is the ticket. I got to email that to myself.”

Pookie drove with one hand, thumbed his cell-phone keys with the other.

Bryan’s gaze nervously flicked between the road ahead and Pookie’s phone. “Is there any point in me reminding you texting and driving is illegal?”

“No,” Pookie said. He hit the last button and put the phone back in his pocket. “Speaking of plot lines, Bri-Bri, any more of those dreams last night?”

Bryan paused, then shook his head.

“L-L-W-T-L,” Pookie said. “Let me hear it. Similar to the first one?”