'You said some queer things back there,' the colonel started. 'Now suppose you just rear back comfortable in that chair and tell me all about it, not leaving out a thing.'
So I told him all about it and I went into a lot of detail to explain my viewpoint and he didn't interrupt, but just kept listening. He was the best listener I ever ran across.
'Let's get a few points down,' he said. 'You say the car had never operated by itself before?'
'Not that I know of,' I answered honestly. 'It might have practiced while I wasn't looking, of course.'
'And it never flew before?'
I shook my head.
'And when it did both of these things, there was this skunk of yours aboard?'
'That's right.'
'And you say this skunk glided down on a fender after the crash?'
'The fender tipped over and the critter ran into the woods.'
'Don't you think it's a little strange that the fender should glide down when all the other wreckage fell kerplunk?'
I admitted that it did seem slightly strange.
'Now about this skunk. You say it purred?'
'It purred real pretty.'
'And waved its tail?'
'Just like a dog,' I said.
The colonel pushed the pad away and leaned back in his chair. He crossed his arms and sort of hugged himself. 'As a matter of personal knowledge,' he told me, 'gained from years of boyhood trapping, I can tell you that no skunk purrs or ever wags its tail.'
'I know what you're thinking,' I said, indignant, 'but I wasn't that drunk. I'd had a drink or two to while away the time while I was waiting for the jet. But I saw the skunk real plain and I knew he was a skunk and I can remember that he purred. He was a friendly cuss. He acted as if he liked me and he…'
'Okay,' the colonel said. 'Okay.'
We sat there looking at one another. All at once, he grinned. 'You know,' he said, 'I find quite suddenly that I need an aide.'
'I ain't joining up,' I replied stubbornly. 'You couldn't get me within a quarter mile of one of them jets. Not if you roped and tied me.'
'A civilian aide. Three hundred a month and keep.'
'Colonel, I don't hanker none for the military life.'
'And all the liquor you can drink.'
'Where do I sign?' I asked.
And that is how I got to be the colonel's aide.
I thought he was crazy and I still think so. He'd been a whole lot better off if he'd quit right there. But he had an idea by the tail and he was the kind of gambling fool who'd ride a hunch to death.
We got along just fine, although at times we had our differences. The first one was over that foolish business about confining me to base. I raised quite a ruckus, but he made it stick.
'You'd go out and get slobbered up and gab your head off,' he told me. 'I want you to button up your lip and keep it buttoned up. Why else do you think I hired you?'
It wasn't so bad. There wasn't a blessed thing to do. I never had to lift my hand to do a lick of work. The chow was fit to eat and I had a place to sleep and the colonel kept his word about all the liquor I could drink.
For several days, I saw nothing of him. Then one afternoon, I dropped around to pass the time of day. I hadn't more than got there when a sergeant came in with a bunch of papers in in hand. He seemed to be upset.
'Here's the report on that car, sir,' he said.
The colonel took the papers and leafed through a few of them. 'Sergeant, I can't make head nor tail of this.'
'Some of it I can't, either, sir.'
'Now this?' said the colonel, pointing.
'That's a computer, sir.'
'Cars don't have computers.'
'Well, sir, that's what I said, too. But we found the place where it was attached to the engine block.'
'Attached? Welded?'
'Well, not exactly welded. Like it was a part of the block. Like it had been cast as a part of it. There was no sign of welding.'
'You're sure it's a computer?'
'Connally said it was, sir. He knows about computers. But it's not like any he's ever seen before. It works on a different principle than any he has seen, he says. But he says it makes a lot of sense, sir. The principle, that is. He says…'
'Well, go on!' the colonel yelled.
'He says its capacity is at least a thousand times that of the best computer that we have. He says it might not be stretching your imagination too far to say that it's intelligent.'
'How do you mean?intelligent?'
'Well, Connally says a rig like that might be capable of thinking for itself, sir.'
'My God!' the colonel said.
He sat there for a minute, as if he might be thinking. Then he turned a page and pointed at something else.
'That's another part, sir,' the sergeant said. 'A drawing of the part. We don't know what it is.'
'Don't know!'
'We never saw anything like it, sir. We don't have any idea what it might be for. It was attached to the transmission, sir.'
'And this?'
'That's an analysis of the gasoline. Funny thing about that, sir. We found the tank, all twisted out of shape, but there was some gas still left in it. It hadn't…'
'But why an analysis?'
'Because it's not gasoline, sir. It is something else. It was gasoline, but it's been changed, sir.'
'Is that all, Sergeant?'
The sergeant, I could see, was beginning to sweat a little. 'No, sir, there's more to it. It's all in that report. We got most all the wreckage, sir. Just bits here and there are missing. We are working now on reassembling it.'
'Reassembling…'
'Maybe, sir, pasting it back together is a better way to put it.'
'It will never run again?'
'I don't think so, sir. It's pretty well smashed up. But if it could be put back together whole, it would be the best car that was ever made. The speedometer says 80,000 miles, but it's in new-car condition. And there are alloys in it that we can't even guess at.'
The sergeant paused. 'If you'll permit me, sir, it's a very funny business.'
'Yes, indeed,' the colonel said. 'Thank you, Sergeant. A very funny business.' The sergeant turned to leave. 'Just a minute,' said the colonel.
'Yes, sir.'
'I'm sorry about this, Sergeant, but you and the entire detail that was assigned to the car are restricted to the base. I don't want this leaking out. Tell your men, will you? I'll make it tough on anyone who talks.'
'Yes, sir,' the sergeant said, saluting very polite, but looking like he could have slit the colonel's throat.
When the sergeant was gone, the colonel said to me: 'Asa, if there's something that you should say now and you fail to say it and it comes out later and makes a fool of me, I'll wring your scrawny little neck.'
'Cross my heart,' I said.
He looked at me funny. 'Do you know what that skunk was?'
