Article 5

The energy of the room had changed completely. It was strained now, grievous.

Chase was pulling me into the hallway.

“Wait,” I told him. The rain was coming in pattering waves.

“He left because of the executions,” Billy said helpfully. I remembered the carrier in Harrisonburg. I knew what the MM was capable of. The blood drained from my face.

“Who?” I asked.

“Shut your mouth,” Chase said harshly to Billy.

“The Article violators.” Billy looked mutinous.

My heart stopped.

“That’s enough, Billy!” snapped Wallace. He passed Chase a hard, judging stare.

“You don’t know?” Sean’s eyes darted to Chase, too. “I thought you told her.”

“Don’t say another word,” Chase threatened. Billy stuck his chin out defiantly. Sean jumped between the two of them.

“No, do. Please do,” I said.

“Ember, come on,” Chase had a hard grip on my arm and was pulling me away.

“Stop it!” I shouted. “Someone tell me what’s going on!”

Rain. Waves of it. Pelting the motel.

“The Article violators, the AWOL soldiers. They’re executed, like Billy said,” Sean spoke quietly. Chase took a step back. “She has a right to know,” he finished.

“They’re going to execute me?” I asked weakly.

“Not you,” said Billy. “The people charged. Your mom.”

CHAPTER 14

THE room began to spin. I braced myself against the counter, vaguely aware that Billy and Wallace had left.

“Ember,” Chase said slowly. He did not approach me.

“Why would they do that?” I asked weakly. But even as I asked I knew it was possible. I’d been in the checkpoint on Rudy Lane when the MM had found the carrier.

“We don’t exactly fit the bill for a new, moral country,” said Sean grimly.

I rounded on him.

“You knew. At the reformatory. You knew when I was trying to escape and you didn’t tell me.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I’d heard rumors. You have to understand, I thought you were going to tell Brock about Becca and me. I thought if you didn’t have a reason to leave, you wouldn’t have a reason to keep the secret.”

“Get away from me.”

He backed up.

“Ember.” Chase cradled my name as though it was an injured bird.

He’d known this all along. He’d hidden the truth. Why hadn’t he told me?

“We have to leave.” I shoved past him, sprinting to our room. People were out in the hallway watching me, but I barely noticed them. The fear was so thick in my body that I could hardly swallow. My knees felt very weak, but I knew I had to be strong. Yes, now I had to be especially strong.

I threw the backpack over my shoulders too quickly and had to grasp the wall to steady myself.

“Damn it, Ember. Hang on.” Chase tried to pry the pack off. His face was pallid in the candlelight.

“Don’t. We’re going. We don’t have time!” I yelled at him. “What’s wrong with you? We have to go!”

“Ember, take off the pack.”

“Chase! She’s in danger! They’re probably looking for her right now! We have to find her!” Hot tears, full of confusion and terror, ripped from my eyes. I wasn’t angry with him. I was too frightened to be angry.

“We can’t go. Not now.”

“She’s scared! I know her. No one takes care of her like I do!”

He backed away from me into the wall. His eyes were enormous, glassy, and just as terrified. I thought for a moment that he finally understood. But I was wrong.

“Ember, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry! Let’s just go!”

“Ember!” He punched his own leg. The move was so violent it stopped me cold. “She’s dead.”

What a horrible thing to say. That was my first coherent thought. What a cruel, hideous thing to say.

The bag seemed very heavy now. It was pulling me backward. It slid to the floor with a thump.

“What?” That voice sounded distant to my ears.

He moved his hands over his mouth, as though to heat them with his breath.

“I’m so sorry. She’s gone, Em.”

“Don’t call me that,” I snapped. “Why are you saying that?”

“She’s dead.”

“Stop!” I screamed. The tears released in full force. I could barely breathe.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re wrong. You’re wrong!”

He shook his head.

“I was there.” His voice cracked. I felt the wall support my weight.

“You… were there? What are you talking about? We have to go.” This time my voice had no volume. No conviction.

Somehow we were both on the floor. He grabbed me, pulling me hard against him. I was too shocked to struggle.

“I thought if I told you, you wouldn’t come with me. Or that you’d run away. I know it was wrong, Ember, I’m so sorry. I needed to get you safe first. I was going to tell you once we got there.”

He wasn’t deceiving me. His tortured face spoke the truth.

My mother was dead.

I became aware of a screaming pain at two points. The front of my head and the center of my gut. Icy knives of reality stabbed into those places. Stabbed at me until I bled. Until my body was turned inside out.

I could hear her. I could hear her voice. Ember. She called my name. How could she be dead when I heard her so clearly?

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated over and over. “I didn’t want to hurt you. I just wanted you safe. I’m so sorry.”

He was too close to me. Crowding me. I pushed him away.

“Get back,” I groaned.

“What do I do?” he asked me desperately. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What happened to my mother?” I asked him.

He hesitated. He wasn’t going to say.

“Tell me!” I insisted. “Why is everyone hiding everything from me? Tell me!”

“Ember, she died. That’s all you need to know.”

“Don’t be a coward!”

“Okay. All right.”

He kneeled in front of me, his arms now crossed over his midsection. His shoulders were shaking. A line of sweat poured down his temple.

“Fighting didn’t turn me, so my command needed something else. Tucker showed them letters. Ones I had written back to you. I thought they’d been mailed but… he’d been hoarding them. They learned who you were. That I didn’t end it with you like I was supposed to. They told me I had to buy in or… Jesus. Or