‘Now then Roger, you sit right here in front next to, that’s right, between Chauncey and Jill, now I see by your card here you haven’t been to school before — illness I guess and that means you may have just a teeny bit of trouble catching up, so you just follow along for now, watch Chaunc — watch Jill and just more or less do what she — anyway now we’re going to pledge allegiance. Everybody up, up, up.’
‘What’s pledge allegiancing?’
‘Hahahaha,’ Chauncey aimed a kick at him. ‘He don’t even know—’
‘That’s enough!’
‘Yeah but he don’t even—’
‘Chauncey be quiet. Roger, dear, haven’t you ever pledged allegiance to the pretty flag? No? Well just take your right hand—’
‘Hahahaha, he ain’t got no hand. He’s got—’
‘Put your hand, of course he’s got lovely artificial hands, put your hand over your heart—’
‘I haven’t got a heart either,’ Roderick said. Jill gasped.
‘And say—’
‘Missus Dorano, Missus Dorano!’ Jill jumped up and down, pointing to him. ‘He says he ain’t got a heart, how can he pledge allegiance without a heart I mean it’s
‘Of course little Roger’s got a heart, dumpling. Everybody’s got a heart, Roger, I hope you’re not going to be a little fibber, don’t you want to be a good American? Roger?’
‘My name’s Roderick.’
‘More fibs, tch tch tch, Roger it says on your card and Roger you are — the computer never lies.’
‘I wanta go home now.’
Chauncey grinned slowly. ‘Yeah, let’s all go home, come on.’
‘CHAUNCEY, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. Roger you can’t go home, now stop fibbing and disrupting the class with your no hand and no heart and no name—’
‘My name is Roderick and I’m a robot, so I don’t have a heart—’
‘I’m very disappointed in you, Roger. Very, very disappointed. I’m giving you one more chance to pledge allegiance — oh, what’s the use? If you want to be a fibber and a fool and a bad — naughty American, all right. You sit down and the rest of us will pledge allegiance.’
By then, one or two kids in the back had been infected: robot imitations went the rounds; someone asked permission to take Roderick apart to see if he had a heart, someone else declared her own heart had been removed at the hospital…
Chauncey and his gang seemed friendlier at recess. They invited Roderick to play ‘Captain May I’.
The gaunt boy in the blue track-suit said, ‘Hey Rick are you really a robot? Boy you sure gave old Dorano a hard time, boy, are you really one?’
Chauncey, hanging back, said, ‘Don’t be stupid, Jimmy, there’s no such thing as robots they’re like ghosts. No such thing.’
Jimmy said, ‘There are so. Hey Rick, lemme feel your muscle, jeeze you sure are tough I busted my shoe kicking you, see? Hey, you wanna be captain?’
‘I’m captain,’ Chauncey said, ‘I’m always captain.’
‘Owww, leggo, okay let’s choose for it.’
‘Okay but I do the choosing.’
Chauncey counted around the ring (himself, Jimmy, Roderick, Larry, Eddie and Billy) eliminating them one by one:
‘We gotta try it again,’ he said, when only Roderick was left. He went through it all again, this time adding, ‘If he hollers, let him go,’ knocking out in turn Billy, Jimmy, himself, Eddie and Larry…
‘Okay, that was practice and this time counts. Only Billy’s out anyway because he’s too little.’ Once more it was Roderick.
‘Hey jeeze, Chauncey, why don’t we just let him—?’
‘Okay, just once more I think I got it right this time, Eeeny meeny miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers make him pay, fifty dollars every day, aw shit I’m out already…’
‘Look, are we gonna play or what, recess is almost over,’ said Larry.
‘This time I got it, Eeeny meeny…,’ Chauncey began, going on to ‘…dollars every day. O-U-T spells out goes he, with a dirty dishrag on his knee, Eddie’s out. Eeeny…’
‘Look, it’s gonna be me again,’ said Roderick. ‘If you wanta choose yourself all you gotta do is go back to the short rhyme now and—’
‘Listen smart-ass, I don’t need no help from you.’ He went on to the end choosing Roderick again, began again with the short rhyme as Eddie went off to find Billy on the other side of the playground. ‘…tiger by the aw jeeze it’s you again.’
Larry said, ‘I’m tired of this shit. Recess is practically over, jeeze, I quit.’
‘You sonofabitch you must of fixed it or something, Eeeny…’ Chauncey quickly eliminated Jimmy, then himself, leaving Roderick, who said:
‘Look I don’t care,
The bell went and Jimmy ran off, but Chauncey gripped the robot’s arm. ‘Not so fast, we gotta settle this.
Roderick went in from recess with another dent on his torso.
Mr Goun sat in one corner of Miss Borden’s office stroking his face as though surprised to find no beard. ‘Well sure I was prepared for kids being kids but—’ He looked up as Ogilvy came in and dumped a pile of books on the desk. ‘Vandalism, ma’am.’
‘What?’ Miss Borden took a last look at her computer terminal screen and sighed. ‘Always six things at once, just when I get down to budget day — what vandalism?’
‘Somebody’s been over these with a razor-blade, ma’am, they look like IBM cards or something.’
Goun, who was younger, wondered what an IBM card might be.
‘Okay thanks, I’ll look at them later, meanwhile why don’t you do something about Mr Goun here, real security problem for you, somebody burglarized his locker. This morning.’
The guard pushed back his cap in the tradition of baffled policemen and whistled. ‘What did they get?’
Goun looked pained. ‘Only every one of my manuals for the sex education course, that’s all.’
‘Yeah? Guess they couldn’t wait.’
‘Not to mention a valuable psychology book,
Ogilvy snickered. ‘“Rare” book, eh?’
‘It happens to be a serious study of the, the actualization of catalyzing factors in the, in interpersonal relations, you wouldn’t understand I guess. The kid who took it probably thinks it’s juicy stuff but I — but let me know, will you? A thin blue book, let me know if you see any kid reading it. In the can or—’
‘Right, chief.’ Ogilvy turned to go and bumped into Ms Beek, moving like a sleepwalker.
Miss Borden stood up. ‘Yes, Joan?’
‘I — I didn’t know—’
‘Your class, Joan. Who’s watching them?’
‘Oh — I—’ Ms Beek wandered out.
Goun said, ‘Not very articulate, is she? Since her nervous b — ah, trouble.’
‘Chemotherapy,’ Miss Borden explained. ‘She’ll soon snap out of it and get right back in the swim again. Now let’s see these books.’
