normally have been, there was a metal desk that looked like it had been stamped off the assembly line. It was almost neurotically clean of anything personal. There wasn't a single picture or anything.
Jamie introduced me, and I shook Mr. Jenkins's hand. After we sat down, Jamie did most of the talking. They were old friends, you could see that right off, and Mr. Jenkins had given her a big hug as soon as she'd entered. After smoothing out her skirt, Jamie explained our plan. Now, Mr. Jenkins had seen the play a few years back, and he knew exactly what she was talking about almost as soon as she started. But even though Mr. Jenkins liked Jamie a lot and knew she meant well, he didn't think it was a good idea.
'I don't think it's a good idea,' he said.
That's how I knew what he was thinking.
'Why not?' Jamie asked, her brow furrowed. She seemed genuinely perplexed by his lack of enthusiasm.
Mr. Jenkins picked up a pencil and started tapping it on his desk, obviously thinking about how to explain himself. In time, he put down the pencil and sighed.
'Even though it's a wonderful offer and I know you'd like to do something special, the play is about a father who eventually comes to realize how much he loves his daughter.' He let that sink in for a moment and picked up the pencil again. 'Christmas is hard enough around here without reminding the kids of what they're missing. I think that if the children see something like that . . .'
He didn't even have to finish. Jamie put her hands to her mouth. 'Oh my,' she said right away, 'you're right. I hadn't thought about that.'
Neither had I, to tell you the truth. But it was obvious right off the bat that Mr. Jenkins made sense.
He thanked us anyway and chatted for a while about what he planned to do instead.
'We'll have a small tree and a few gifts—something that all of them can share. 'You're welcome to visit Christmas Eve. . . .'
After we said our good-byes, Jamie and I walked in silence without saying anything. I could tell she was sad. The more I hung around Jamie, the more I realized she had lots of different emotions—she wasn't always cheerful and happy. Believe it or not, that was the first time I recognized that in some ways she was just like the rest of us.
'I'm sorry it didn't work out,' I said softly.
'I am, too.'
She had that faraway look in her eyes again, and it was a moment before she went on.
'I just wanted to do something different for them this year. Something special that they would remember forever. I thought for sure this was it. . . .' She sighed. 'The Lord seems to have a plan that I just don't know about yet.'
She was quiet for a long time, and I looked at her. Seeing Jamie feeling bad was almost worse than feeling bad because of her. Unlike Jamie, I deserved to feel bad about myself—I knew what kind of person I was. But with her . . .
'While we're here, do you want to stop in to see the kids?' I asked into the silence. It was the only thing I could think to do that might make her feel better. 'I could wait out here while you talk to them, or go to the car if you want.'
'Would you visit them with me?' she asked suddenly.
To be honest, I wasn't sure I could handle it, but I knew she really wanted me there. And she was feeling so down that the words came out automatically.
'Sure, I'll go.'
'They'll be in the rec room now. That's where they usually are at this time,' she said.
We walked down the corridors to the end of the hall, where two doors opened into a good-size room. Perched in the far corner was a small television with about thirty metal folding chairs placed all around it. The kids were sitting in the chairs, crowded around it, and you could tell that only the ones in the front row had a good view of the thing.
I glanced around. In the corner was an old Ping-Pong table. The surface was cracked and dusty, the net nowhere to be seen. A couple of empty Styrofoam cups sat on top of it, and I knew it hadn't been used in months, maybe years. Along the wall next to the Ping-Pong table were a set of shelves, with a few toys here and there— blocks and puzzles, a couple of games. There weren't too many, and the few that were there looked as if they'd been in this room for a long time. Along the near walls were small individual desks piled with newspapers, scribbled on with crayons.
We stood in the doorway for just a second. We hadn't been noticed yet, and I asked what the newspapers were for.
'They don't have coloring books,' she whispered, 'so they use newspapers.' She didn't look at me as she spoke—instead her attention was directed at the kids. She'd begun to smile again.
'Are these all the toys they have?' I asked.
She nodded. 'Yes, except for the stuffed animals. They're allowed to keep those in their rooms. This is where the rest of the things are kept.'
I guess she was used to it. To me, though, the sparseness of the room made the whole thing depressing. I couldn't imagine growing up in a place like this.
Jamie and I finally walked into the room, and one of the kids turned around at the sound of our steps. He was about eight or so, with red hair and freckles, his two front teeth missing.
'Jamie!' he shouted happily when he saw her, and all of a sudden all the other heads turned. The kids ranged in age from about five to twelve, more boys than girls. After twelve they had to be sent to live with foster parents, I later learned.
'Hey, Roger,' Jamie said in response, 'how are you?'
With that, Roger and some of the others began to crowd around us. A few of the other kids ignored us and moved closer to the television now that there were free seats in the front row. Jamie introduced me to one of the older kids who'd come up and asked if I was her boyfriend. By his tone, I think that he had the same opinion of Jamie that most of the kids in our high school had.
'He's just a friend,' she said. 'But he's very nice.'
Over the next hour, we visited with the children. I got a lot of questions about where I lived and whether my house was big or what kind of car I owned, and when we finally had to leave, Jamie promised that she'd be back soon. I noticed that she didn't promise I would be with her.
While we were walking back to the car, I said, 'They're a nice bunch of kids.' I shrugged awkwardly. 'I'm glad that you want to help them.'
Jamie turned to me and smiled. She knew there wasn't much to add after that, but I could tell she was still wondering what she was going to do for them that Christmas.
Chapter 7
By early December, just over two weeks into rehearsals, the sky was winter dark before Miss Garber would let us leave, and Jamie asked me if I wouldn't mind walking her home. I don't know why she wanted me to. Beaufort wasn't exactly a hotbed of criminal activity back then. The only murder I'd ever heard about had occurred six years earlier when a guy was stabbed outside of Maurice's Tavern, which was a hangout for people like Lew, by the way. For an hour or so it caused quite a stir, and phone lines buzzed all over town while nervous women wondered about the possibility of a crazed lunatic wandering the streets, preying on innocent victims. Doors were locked, guns were loaded, men sat by the front windows, looking for anyone out of the ordinary who might be creeping down the street. But the whole thing was over before the night was through when the guy walked into the police station to give himself up, explaining that it was a bar fight that got out of hand. Evidently the victim had welshed on a bet. The guy was charged with second-degree murder and got six years in the state penitentiary. The policemen in our town had the most boring jobs in the world, but they still liked to strut around with a swagger or sit in coffee shops while they talked about the 'big crime,' as if they'd cracked the case of the Lindbergh baby.
But Jamie's house was on the way to mine, and I couldn't say no without hurting her feelings. It wasn't that I liked her or anything, don't get the wrong idea, but when you've had to spend a few hours a day with someone, and