To my surprise, I saw that tonight her hair hung loosely, just as it had the night of the play. Instead of the old brown cardigan I'd seen so many times, she was wearing a red V-neck sweater that somehow accentuated the color of her light blue eyes. Even without sparkles in her hair or a long white flowing dress, the sight of her was arresting. Without even noticing it, I'd been holding my breath, and I could see Mr. Jenkins smiling at me out of the corner of my eye. I exhaled and smiled, trying to regain control.
Jamie paused only once to look up from the story. She noticed me standing in the doorway, then went back to reading to the children. It took her another minute or so to finish, and when she did, she stood up and smoothed her skirt, then walked around the children to make her way toward me. Not knowing where she wanted me to go, I stayed where I was.
By then Mr. Jenkins had slipped away.
'I'm sorry we started without you,' she said when she finally reached me, 'but the kids were just so excited.'
'It's okay,' I said, smiling, thinking how nice she looked.
'I'm so glad you could come.'
'So am I.'
Jamie smiled and reached for my hand to lead the way. 'C'mon with me,' she said. 'Help me hand out the gifts.'
We spent the next hour doing just that, and we watched as the children opened them one by one. Jamie had shopped all over town, picking up a few things for each child in the room, individual gifts that they'd never received before. The gifts that Jamie bought weren't the only ones the children received, however—both the orphanage and the people who worked there had bought some things as well. As paper was tossed around the room in excited frenzy, there were squeals of delight everywhere. To me, at least, it seemed that all of the children had received far more than they'd expected, and they kept thanking Jamie over and over.
By the time the dust had finally settled and all the children's gifts were opened, the atmosphere began to calm down. The room was tidied up by Mr. Jenkins and a woman I'd never met, and some of the smaller children were beginning to fall asleep beneath the tree. Some of the older ones had already gone back to their rooms with their gifts, and they'd dimmed the overhead lights on the way out the door. The tree lights cast an ethereal glow as 'Silent Night' played softly on a phonograph that had been set up in the corner. I was still sitting on the floor next to Jamie, who was holding a young girl who'd fallen asleep in her lap. Because of all the commotion, we hadn't really had a chance to talk, not that either of us had minded. We were both gazing up at the lights on the tree, and I wondered what Jamie was thinking. If truth be told, I didn't know, but she had a tender look about her. I thought— no,I knew —she was pleased with how the evening had gone, and deep down, so was I. To this point it was the best Christmas Eve I'd ever spent.
I glanced at her. With the lights glowing on her face, she looked as pretty as anyone I'd ever seen.
'I bought you something,' I finally said to her. 'A gift, I mean.' I spoke softly so I wouldn't wake the little girl, and I hoped it would hide the nervousness in my voice.
She turned from the tree to face me, smiling softly. 'You didn't have to do that.' She kept her voice low, too, and it sounded almost musical.
'I know,' I said. 'But I wanted to.' I'd kept the gift off to one side, and I reached for it, handing the gift- wrapped package to her.
'Could you open it for me? My hands are kind of full right now.' She looked down at the little girl, then back to me.
'You don't have to open it now, if you'd rather not,' I said, shrugging, 'it's really not that big of a deal.'
'Don't be silly,' she said. 'I would only open it in front of you.'
To clear my mind, I looked at the gift and started opening it, picking at the tape so that it wouldn't make much noise, then unwrapping the paper until I reached the box. After setting the paper off to the side, I lifted the cover and pulled out the sweater, holding it up to show her. It was brown, like the ones she usually wore. But I figured she could use a new one.
Compared with the joy I'd seen earlier, I didn't expect much of a reaction.
'See, that's all. I told you it wasn't much,' I said. I hoped she wasn't disappointed in it.
'It's beautiful, Landon,' she said earnestly. 'I'll wear it the next time I see you. Thank you.'
We sat quietly for a moment, and once again I began to look at the lights.
'I brought you something, too,' Jamie finally whispered. She looked toward the tree, and my eyes followed her gaze. Her gift was still beneath the tree, partially hidden by the stand, and I reached for it. It was rectangular, flexible, and a little heavy. I brought it to my lap and held it there without even trying to open it.
'Open it,' she said, looking right at me.
'You can't give this to me,' I said breathlessly. I already knew what was inside, and I couldn't believe what she had done. My hands began to tremble.
'Please,' she said to me with the kindest voice I'd ever heard, 'open it. I want you to have it.'
Reluctantly I slowly unwrapped the package. When it was finally free of the paper, I held it gently, afraid to damage it. I stared at it, mesmerized, and slowly ran my hand over the top, brushing my fingers over the well-worn leather as tears filled my eyes. Jamie reached out and rested her hand on mine. It was warm and soft.
I glanced at her, not knowing what to say.
Jamie had given me her Bible.
'Thank you for doing what you did,' she whispered to me. 'It was the best Christmas I've ever had.'
I turned away without responding and reached off to the side where I'd set my glass of punch. The chorus of 'Silent Night' was still playing, and the music filled the room. I took a sip of the punch, trying to soothe the sudden dryness in my throat. As I drank, all the times I'd spent with Jamie came flooding into my mind. I thought about the homecoming dance and what she'd done for me that night. I thought about the play and how angelic she'd looked. I thought about the times I'd walked her home and how I'd helped collect jars and cans filled with pennies for the orphans.
As these images were going through my head, my breathing suddenly went still. I looked at Jamie, then up to the ceiling and around the room, doing my best to keep my composure, then back to Jamie again. She smiled at me and I smiled at her and all I could do was wonder how I'd ever fallen in love with a girl like Jamie Sullivan.
Chapter 10
I drove Jamie home from the orphanage later that night. At first I wasn't sure whether I should pull the old yawn move and put my arm around her shoulder, but to be honest, I didn't know exactly how she was feeling about me. Granted, she'd given me the most wonderful gift I'd ever received, and even though I'd probably never open it and read it like she did, I knew it was like giving a piece of herself away. But Jamie was the type of person who would donate a kidney to a stranger she met walking down the street, if he really needed one. So I wasn't exactly sure what to make of it.
Jamie had told me once that she wasn't a dimwit, and I guess I finally came to the conclusion that she wasn't. She may have been . . . well, different . . . but she'd figured out what I'd done for the orphans, and looking back, I think she knew even as we were sitting on the floor of her living room. When she'd called it a miracle, I guess she was talking specifically about me.
Hegbert, I remembered, came into the room as Jamie and I were talking about it, but he really didn't have much to say. Old Hegbert hadn't been himself lately, at least as far as I could tell. Oh, his sermons were still on the money, and he still talked about the fornicators, but lately his sermons were shorter than usual, and occasionally he'd pause right in the middle of one and this strange
look would come over him, kind of like he was thinking of something else, something sad.
I didn't know what to make of it, being that I really didn't know him that well. And Jamie, when she talked about him, seemed to describe someone else entirely. I could no more imagine Hegbert with a sense of humor than I could imagine two moons in the sky.
So anyway, he came into the room while we counted the money, and Jamie stood up with those tears in her
