dancing
partner, least of all Mr Nightingale. I don't dance. chloE: Don't be such a prune. You were kissing him, anyway. hannah: He was kissing me, and only out of general enthusiasm. chloE: Well, don't say I didn't give you first chance. My genius
brother will be much relieved. He's in love with you, I
suppose you know. hannah: (Angry) That's a joke! chloE: It's not a joke to him. hannah: Of course it is - not even a joke - how can you be so
ridiculous?
(GUS enters from thegardeny in his customary silent
awkwardness.) chloE: Hello, Gus, what have you got?
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(gus has an apple, just picked, with a leaf or two still attached.
He offers the apple to HANNAH.) HANNAH: (Surprised) Oh! . . . Thank you! CHLOE: (Leaving) Told you.
(chloE closes the door on herself) hannah: Thank you. Oh dear.
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SCENE THREE
The schoolroom. The next morning. Present are: THOMASINA, SEPTIMUS, JELLABY. We have seen this composition before: thomasina at her place at the table; Septimus reading a letter which has just arrived; jellaby waiting, having just delivered the letter. 'The Couch of Eros' is in front of Septimus, open, together with sheets of paper on which he has been writing. His portfolio is on the table. Plautus (the tortoise) is the paperweight. There is also an apple on the table now, the same apple from all appearances. SEPTIMUS: (With his eyes on the letter) Why have you stopped?
(THOMASINA is studying a sheet of paper, a 'Latin unseen' lesson.
She is having some difficulty.) THOMASINA: Solio insessa. . .in igne. . . seated on a throne... in
the fire. . . and also on a ship... sedebat regina... sat the
queen.. . SEPTIMUS: There is no reply, Jellaby. Thank you.
(He folds the letter up and places it between the leaves of'The
Couch of Eros'.) JELLABY: I will say so, sir. THOMASINA:. .. the wind smelling sweetly. . .purpureisvelis. ..
by, with or from purple sails -Septimus: (To jellaby) I will have something for the post, if you
would be so kind. jellaby: (Leaving) Yes, sir. THOMASINA:. . . was like as to- something -by, with or from
lovers -oh, Septimus! -musicatibiarumimperabat. . .music
of pipes commanded ... Septimus: 'Ruled' is better. thomasina: . . . the silver oars - exciting the ocean - as if - as if -
amorous -Septimus: That is very good.
(He picks up the apple. He picks off the twig and leaves, placing
these on the table. With a pocket knife he cuts a slice of apple, and
while he eats it, cuts another slice which he offers to Plautus.) 1HOMASINa: Regina reclinabat. . .the queen-was reclining-
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praeter descriptionem - indescribably - in a golden tent. ..
like Venus and yet more -SEPTIMUS: Try to put some poetry into it. thomasina: How can I if there is none in the Latin? Septimus: Oh, a critic! thomasina: Is it Queen Dido? Septimus: No. thomasina: Who is the poet? Septimus: Known to you. thomasina: Known to me? Septimus: Not a Roman. thomasina: Mr Chater? Septimus: Your translation is quite like Chater.
(septimus picks up his pen and continues with his own
writing.) thomasina: I know who it is, it is your friend Byron. septimus: Lord Byron, if you please. thomasina: Mama is in love with Lord Byron. septimus: (Absorbed) Yes. Nonsense. thomasina: It is not nonsense. I saw them together in the
gazebo.
(Septimus's pen stops moving, he raises his eyes to her at last.)
Lord Byron was reading to her from his satire, and mama
was laughing, with her head in her best position. septimus: She did not understand the satire, and was showing
politeness to a guest. thomasina: She is vexed with papa for his determination to alter
the park, but that alone cannot account for her politeness to a
guest. She came downstairs hours before her custom. Lord
Byron was amusing at breakfast. He paid you a tribute,
Septimus. septimus: Did he? thomasina: He said you were a witty fellow, and he had almost
by heart an article you wrote about - well, I forget what, but
it concerned a book called The Maid of Turkey' and how
you would not give it to your dog for dinner. septimus: Ah. Mr Chater was at breakfast, of course. thomasina: He was, not like certain lazybones.
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Septimus: He does not have Latin to set and mathematics to correct.
(He takes Thomasina*s lesson book from underneath Plautus and tosses it down the table to her.)
thomasina: Correct? What was incorrect in it? (She looks into the book.) Alpha minus? Pooh! What is the minus for?
Septimus: For doing more than was asked.
thomasina: You did not like my discovery?
Septimus: A fancy is not a discovery.
thomasina: A gibe is not a rebuttal.
(SEVTIMUS finishes what he is writing. He folds the pages into a letter. He has sealing wax and the means to melt it. He seals the letter and writes on the cover. Meanwhile - ) You are churlish with me because mama is paying attention to your friend. Well, let them elope, they cannot turn back the advancement of knowledge. I think it is an excellent discovery. Each week I plot your equations dot for dot, xs against.ys in all manner of algebraical relation, and every week they draw themselves as commonplace geometry, as if the world of forms were nothing but arcs and angles. God's truth, Septimus, if there is an equation for a curve like a bell, there must be an equation for one like a bluebell, and if a bluebell, why not a rose? Do we believe nature is written in numbers?
Septimus: We do.
thomasina: Then why do your equations only describe the shapes of manufacture?
Septimus: I do not know.
thomasina: Armed thus, God could only make a cabinet.
SEPTIMUS: He has mastery of equations which lead into infinities where we cannot follow.
thomasina: What a faint-heart! We must work outward from the middle of the maze. We will start with something simple. (She picks up the apple leaf.) I will plot this leaf and deduce its equation. You will be famous for being my tutor when Lord Byron is dead and forgotten.
(SEPTIMUS completes the business with his letter. He puts the letter in his pocket.)
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Septimus: (Firmly) Back to Cleopatra.
thomasina: Is it Cleopatra? -1 hate Cleopatra!
Septimus: You hate her? Why?
thomasina: Everything is turned to love with her. New love, absent love, lost love -1 never knew a heroine that makes such noodles of our sex. It only needs a Roman general to drop anchor outside the window and away goes the empire like a christening mug into a pawn shop. If Queen Elizabeth had been a Ptolemy history would have been quite different -we would be admiring the pyramids of Rome and the great Sphinx of Verona.
Septimus: God save us.
thomasina: But instead, the Egyptian noodle made carnal embrace with the enemy who burned the great
