“Look more closely,” said Maverick. “Maybe it's just my eyes, but I only see
“The king is an evil presence,” said Roderick. “He must be destroyed. Will you help us?”
“I have sort of a conflict of interest here,” Randall admitted. “The King of Rainey was expecting me to arrive yesterday.”
“He knows you?” asked Frederick.
“Well, sort of. Mostly he knows the knight I squire for.”
“Does he trust you?” asked Roderick.
“I would think so, although I am kind of arriving without my knight and the princess we were supposed to be bringing. That might cut down on the trust factor a bit.”
“Can you gain his confidence?” asked Maverick.
“What's all this about?” Randall asked. “I thought you were just going to sneak into his room at night and kill him.”
“Ah, but that was the simplified version,” said Frederick. “With you here, we can use the complex version, which is much more rewarding.”
“I'm a squire,” said Randall. “I'm employed by the king of Mosiman, who is on good terms with the king of Rainey, them being charades partners and all. I can't help you.”
Roderick looked into the secret tunnel. “What are you doing?” he demanded of Rick.
“Adding mustard to his sandwich.”
“He refuses to help us in our mission, and you give the man
“My gosh, Roderick, we're not animals!” Rick insisted.
“Very well. But I don't want you making the mustard into a smiley face like you do for the rest of us.”
Rick nodded and rubbed out the artwork with his palm.
“You know,” said Maverick, “I'm not sure it's a good idea keeping this squire alive. He knows of our plan. What's to stop him from warning the king?”
“We'll keep him here until our mission is complete,” said Frederick.
“But then what's to stop him from telling on us later?”
“Who cares?” asked Frederick. “We were going to take full credit for the assassination anyway.”
“No we weren't,” Roderick corrected. “That was only in the ‘stupid’ version of our plan. We're going with the ‘smart’ one.”
“Oh, that's right. I guess we should kill him.”
“You have a choice,” Roderick told Randall. “You join us, or you die.”
A great sense of duty came upon Randall. He tried to shoo it away, but it stuck. “I will not join you,” he said, his voice taking on the manly tone that years of practice had previously been unable to produce. “I will die before I do so.”
“Fine,” said Roderick, taking out his daggers.
Randall waited for the bug to speak up. But a quick survey of the room revealed that the bug was nowhere to be found.
“Looking for...
“Uh, no,” said Randall.
“Then what about...
“You wretch!” shouted Randall. “Let the bug go!”
“The bug goes nowhere. If you don't help us, I promise you I will squash it like a rabbit!”
“Please don't let the bad man hurt me!” said the bug, its voice muffled by the glass.
“So,” sneered Roderick, “you have all of ten seconds to decide your plan of action. Starting now.”
“I'll join you,” said Randall. “Just don't hurt it.”
“Excellent. Rick, bring him his sandwich, and then open the other secret passage. Our new partner needs his rest before the mission tomorrow morning.”
He began to laugh maniacally, then decided that the situation wasn't so much ha-ha funny as it was filled with glee, so he settled for wringing his hands with joy.
And, as the books tumbled to the floor, Randall knew he was about to face the greatest dilemma of his life so far.
Chapter 10
A Completely Serious Chapter
AS RANDALL lay on the cot in the hidden room, he wondered what was going to happen next.
Chapter 11
If This Were Chapter Twenty-Eight,
The Book Would Be Over
“WAKE UP,” said Frederick, prodding Randall with a turnip.
“Why exactly are you prodding me with a turnip?” he asked.
“Oh, I don't know,” admitted Frederick, staring at the turnip in his hand as if he'd never seen it before. “I guess it was available, and I needed something to prod you with, and the two factors sort of merged.”
“That's all right,” said Randall. “I just thought it was unusual is all.”
“Well, rise and shine. It's time to assassinate the king.”
“Oh, happy, happy day.”
“You should know that sarcasm is grounds for bug-squashing. Now get up so we can go over the plan.”
* * * *
RANDALL SAT at the table with the other four men. He was wearing a set of clothes they provided which managed to avoid the adjectives “dapper', “tasteful', “comfortable',
“Now, what's the plan again?” Maverick asked.
“Don't screw up or Bug's dead,” Randall replied.
“Good.” Maverick slid a gold necklace across the table toward him. “You're going to wear this. It's magic, and will let us see everything you do and hear everything you say, so don't try anything sneaky.”
Randall picked up the necklace. “I'm really not into adornments. Too superficial.”
“Put it on,” said Maverick.
“It clashes with my shirt.”
“Tuck it under the shirt.”
“It clashes with my chest.”
“Don't be a dipwad.”
“What exactly is a dipwad?”
“Somebody who ticks me off and gets a foot up their nose.”
“Whose foot? Yours or mine?”
“Both. One in each nostril.”
“That would make me look goofier than just wearing the necklace, right?”
“Right.”
Randall put it on. “I don't suppose this would be the fabled Necklace of Power?”
Roderick shook his head. “Never heard of the Necklace of Power. Remember, if this necklace comes off, the bug gets stomped.”
“You guys are getting a little redundant with those bug threats. I'm liable to become desensitized.”
The men stood up. “Let's go,” said Frederick. “You know what to do.”
“Question: If I legitimately forget what I'm supposed to do, am I going to be penalized?”
Frederick sighed. “Are you really that stupid or are you just trying to lull us into a false sense of security?”
“I'm really that stupid,” Randall replied. Actually, he was trying to lull them into a false sense of security, but was far too intelligent to reveal such a thing.
“Come on, let's go,” urged Roderick. “You've got a lot of work to do today.”
* * * *
