select one of you to test your skill. Any volunteers?”
Several hands went up. Bamberg raised his eyebrows. “You
“I was just kidding,” said the prisoner.
“Well, since nobody wants to do it, I guess we'll have to go with the usual method of picking the last person in the chain.” He pointed to Randall. “Sir, if you'll please stand up.”
“Listen,” said Randall, “I'd really appreciate a break. It's been such a lousy week that I don't even wanna get into it.”
“We'll let the other prisoners decide. Anyone who wants to trade places with the guy on the end, give a holler.” Nobody responded. “Sorry, but you're stuck. A pair of my associates with unlock you and escort you to the Maze.”
Two of the black-armored warriors began walking towards Randall. Yvonne looked at him, teary-eyed. “Oh, Randall—I have faith in you! You can defeat this creature and return safely to my warm and loving arms!”
“Tell the Bull Creature I said hi,” Jack said.
The warriors unlocked the chain around Randall's wrist and took him by the shoulders. “Be strong, my love!” said Yvonne.
“Hey, guys, do you think we could share one last kiss?” Randall asked the guards.
The guards glanced at each other. “I'm not that way,” one of them said.
“No, I meant with the woman.”
“Oh. Nah.” As the guards violently dragged Randall out of the room, Yvonne began to sob freely.
“I've lost him!” she cried. “I've lost my one and only love! Woe and despair and sorrow and tears and heartache!”
“Prisoners, please rise and file out of the door,” said Bamberg. “Follow the person you're chained to, if you will.”
The prisoners stood up, with Jack having to help Yvonne to her feet. “He'll be okay,” Jack assured her. “After all he's been through, it would be ridiculous for him to die now.”
“That's what I'm afraid of!” Yvonne sobbed. “This whole place is ridiculous!”
Chapter 22
Excitement Out The Wazoo
RANDALL WAS taken down a hallway which ended at a flight of stairs leading downward. “Since you don't have much longer to live,” said one of the warriors, “I'd like to do something nice for you. Would you care for a last meal?”
“Yeah, that'd be okay.”
The warrior took some thin wafers out of his pocket and handed one to Randall. “Here you go. Enjoy.”
“Cripes, Abner,” moaned the other warrior. “You know, not everyone goes ga-ga over those wafers like you do.”
“These are delicious wafers,” said Abner, taking a bite of one. “Been in my family for generations.”
“That may be so, but you got the poor guy's hopes up for some marvelous last meal and all he gets is a dry wafer. I think you owe him an apology.”
“Dale, I'm getting sick and tired of you maligning my wafers all the time. These are gourmet wafers. You can't get these just anywhere. My own mother baked these!”
“Oh, well, gee, I guess I should just run over and kiss your mother's substantial butt, then. I'm not complaining about the wafers themselves, I'm just remarking that they're a pretty feeble excuse for a last meal, no matter how good they are in comparison to other wafers.”
“Taste it,” Abner told Randall. “Taste it and tell me what you think.”
Randall took a bite. It was easily the finest wafer he'd ever tasted, not that he was much of a wafer connoisseur. “It's very good,” he said.
“See? He likes it!”
“I didn't say he wouldn't like it,” Dale insisted. “I just said that when you think of a last meal, you think steak, lobster, thoroughly-cleaned whale bladder, stuff like that. You don't think of a wafer. That's more of a snack.”
“Fine, let's not argue. That was his final snack. Are you happy now?”
“I'm happy now.”
“Could I have another wafer?” Randall asked.
“No. Now, what you'll have to do is venture down into the maze and kill the Bull Creature. You don't get any weapons, and what you need to do is bring its heart back to us, then we'll set you free. Understand?”
“Its heart? That's so gross! How am I supposed to be expected to find my way back through a maze when I'm distracted by the fact that I'm holding a wet heart?”
“Well, technically we know it's not going to happen, which is why we've never sweated the heart deal,” Abner explained.
“At least give me a baggie or something to hold it in!”
“We don't have one handy. Listen, if you succeed in the actual process of heart removal you're going to be all messy anyway, so what's a few more minutes holding the lousy thing?”
“Okay, fine,” said Randall. “But when I get out of here I'm going to throw it at you.”
“If you survive this place, I'll be here with my mouth open. Now go.” Abner gave Randall a gentle push, and he slowly walked down the staircase. When he reached the bottom, he removed a burning torch from its holder on the wall and moved down the brick-lined hallway. Within a few feet, paths branched off to the left and right.
“Hey, Bull Creature!” he called out. “You around?”
There was no answer. He listened carefully for any sounds that might clue him in about which direction to take, but there were none. He began pointing his finger from one side to the other.
“Jelly beans, jelly beans, in a dish, how many pieces do you wish?” He considered that for a moment. “Three. T-h-r-e-e spells three and you are not it.” He was pointing to the left, so he entered the path to his right, which promptly dead-ended.
“Dang!” he said. “I knew I should've picked four jelly beans!” He went down the opposite path, which also dead-ended. “Oh, now this is interesting.”
He shrugged, turned around, and went back up the stairs. “Sorry, game's over,” he told the warriors.
“Ah, but it isn't,” said Abner. “There's a little secret you have to figure out.”
“Then how about telling me what it is?” Randall asked.
“No, but I'll give you a clue. It involves the wall at the end of the path.”
“Not a good enough clue,” said Randall. “Just tell me.”
“It involves something you do with your hands.”
“You have no idea what I do with my hands.”
“It involves motion of something that you didn't realize was movable,” Dale elaborated.
“I'm really not in the mood for this,” said Randall. “Tell me what to do so I can get on with it.”
“We're not allowed to tell you. But you need to do something with your hands, something that might cause something else to move and open the pathway for you to continue.” Abner raised his palms and mimed a pushing motion.
“Come on, I'm tired. Forget the clues and tell me.”
“It rhymes with bush,” said Dale.
“Lots of things rhyme with bush,” said Randall. “You're not helping me.”
“And it starts with the sixteenth letter of the alphabet,” Abner told him.
“If I had time to go through the sixteen letters, I wouldn't have bothered to come back here to question you guys. Please tell me so I can get to work and not waste any more time?”
* * * *
“PUSH THE WALL, IDIOT!” Dale shouted.
“You gave it away!” whined Abner.
“Thanks,” said Randall. “I don't see why that was so difficult.” He went back down the stairs, down the hallway, and into the right path. He gave the wall a good push, and it fell over, revealing six paths containing approximately seventy-five sub-paths.
