[Aiming carefully, he flips the packet under his bed.]
Oh, I wanted to ask you something.
BEN [Slamming his paper down.] Kaw!
GUS What's that?
BEN A child of eight killed a cat!
GUS Get away.
BEN It's a fact. Wha t about that, eh? A child of eight killing a cat!
GUS HOW did he do it?
BEN It was a girl.
GUS How did she do it?
BEN She?
[He picks up the paper and studies it.]
It doesn't say. GUS Wh y not? BEN Wait a minute. It just says?Her brother, aged eleven, viewed the inci
dent from the toolshed. GUS G o on! BEN That's bloody ridiculous.
[Pause.] GUS I bet he did it. BEN Who? GUS Th e brother. BEN I think you're right.
[Pause. ]
[Slamming down the paper.] Wha t about that, eh? A kid of eleven killing a cat and blaming it on his little sister of eight! It's enough to? [He breaks off in disgust and seizes the paper, GUS rises.] GUS Wha t time is he getting in touch?
[BEN reads.]
Wha t time is he getting in touch? BEN What's the matter with you? It could be any time. An y time. GUS [Moves to the foot of BUN'S bed.] Well, I was going to ask you something. BEN What? GUS Have you noticed the time that tank takes to fill? BEN What tank?
.
260 4 / HAROLD PINTER
GUS In the lavatory. BEN No. Does it? GUS Terrible. BEN Well, what about it? GUS What do you thinks the matter with it? BEN Nothing. GUS Nothing? BEN It's got a deficient ballcock, that's all. GUS A deficient what? BEN Ballcock. GUS No? Really? BEN That's what I should say. GUS Go on! That didn't occur to me.
[GUS wanders to his bed and presses the mattress.]
I didn't have a very restful sleep today, did you? It's not muc h of a bed. I could have done with another blanket too. [He catches sight of a picture on the xvall.] Hello, what's this? [Peering at it.] 'The First Eleven.'2 Cricketers. You seen this, Ben?
BEN [Reading.] What? GUS The first eleven. BEN What? GUS There's a photo here of the first eleven. BEN Wha t first eleven? GUS [Studying the photo.] It doesn't say. BEN Wha t about that tea? GUS They all look a bit old to me.
[GUS wanders downstage, looks out front, then all about the room.]
I wouldn't like to live in this dump. I wouldn't mind if you had a window,
you could see what it looked like outside. BEN Wha t do you want a window for? GUS Well, I like to have a bit of a view, Ben. It whiles away the time.
[He walks about the room.]
I mean, you come into a place when it's still dark, you come into a room you've never seen before, you sleep all day, you do your job, and then you go away in the night again.
[Pause. ]
I like to get a look at the scenery. You never get the chance in this job. BEN YOU get your holidays, don't you? GUS Only a fortnight. BEN [Lowering the paper.] You kill me. Anyone would think you're working
every day. How often do we do a job? Once a week? What are you complaining about? GUS Yes, but we've got to be on tap though, haven't we? You can't move out
of the house in case a call comes. BEN You know what your trouble is? GUS What? BEN YOU haven't got any interests. GUS I've got interests. BEN What ? Tell me one of your interests.
2. A school's top team of cricketers.
.
THE DUMB WAITER / 2605
[Pause.] GUS I've got interests. BEN Look at me. Wha t have I got? GUS I don't know. What ? BEN I've got my woodwork. I've got my model boats. Have you ever seen me
idle? I'm never idle. I know how to occupy my time, to its best advantage.
Then when a call comes, I'm ready. GUS Don't you ever get a bit fed up? BEN Fed up? What with?
[Silence. BEN reads, GUS feels in the -pocket of his jacket, which hangs on the bed.]
