like an Alka- Seltzer myself.
[BEN sits up. ] BEN [In a low voice.] Time's getting on. GUS I know. I don't like doing a job on an empty stomach. BEN [Wearily.] Be quiet a minute. Let me give you your instructions. GUS What for? We always do it the same way, don't we? BEN Let me give you your instructions.
[GUS sighs and sits next to BEN on the hed. The instructions are stated and repeated automatically.]
When we get the call, you go over and stand behind the door. GUS Stand behind the door. BEN If there's a knock on the door you don't answer it. GUS If there's a knock on the door I don't answer it. BEN But there won't be a knock on the door. GUS SO I won't answer it. BEN When the bloke comes in? GUS When the bloke comes in? BEN Shut the door behind him. GUS Shut the door behind him. BEN Without divulging your presence. GUS Without divulging my presence.
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THE DUMB WAITER / 262 1
BEN He'll see me and come towards me. GUS He'll see you and come towards you. BEN He won't see you. GUS [Absently.] Eh? BEN He won't see you. GUS He won't see me. BEN But he'll see me. GUS He'll see you. BEN He won't know you're there. GUS He won't know you're there. BEN He won't know you're there. GUS He won't know I'm there. BEN I take out my gun. GUS You take out your gun. BEN He stops in his tracks. GUS He stops in his tracks. BEN If he turns round-? GUS If he turns round? BEN You're there. GUS I'm here.
[ BEN/rmv J-Z.S and presses his forehead.]
You've missed something out. BEN I know. What? GUS I haven't taken my gun out, according to you. BEN You take your gun out? GUS After I've closed the door. BEN After you've closed the door. GUS You've never missed that out before, you know that? BEN When he sees you behind him? GUS Me behind him? BEN And me in front of him? GUS And you in front of him? BEN He'll feel uncertain? GUS Uneasy. BEN He won't know what to do. GUS So what will he do? BEN He'll look at me and he'll look at you. GUS We won't say a word. BEN We'll look at him. GUS He won't say a word. BEN He'll look at us. GUS And we'll look at him. BEN Exactly.
[Pause.]
GUS What do we do if it's a girl? BEN We do the same. GUS Exactly the same? BEN Exactly.
[Pause. ]
GUS We don't do anything different? BEN We do exactly the same.
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262 0 / HAROLD PINTER
GUS Oh. [GUS rises, and shivers.]
Excuse me. [He exits through the door on the left, BEN remains sitting on the hed, still.
The lavatory chain is pulled once off left, hut the lavatory does not
flush. Silence. GUS re-enters and stops inside the door, deep in thought. He looks at
BEN, then walks slowly across to his own hed. He is troubled. He stands, thinking. He turns and looks at BEN. He moves a few paces towards him. ]
[Slowly in a low, tense voice.] Why did he send us matches if he knew there was no gas?
[Silence. BEN stares in front of him. GUS crosses to the left side of BEN, to the foot of his bed, to get to his other ear.]
Ben. Why did he send us matches if he knew there was no gas? [BEN looks up.]
Why did he do that? BEN Who? GUS Who sent us those matches? BEN What are you talking about?
[GUS stares down at him.] GUS [Thickly.] Who is it upstairs? BEN [Nervously.] What's one thing to do with another? GUS Who is it, though? BEN What's one thing to do with another?
[BEN fumbles for his paper on the bed.] GUS I asked you a question. BEN Enough! GUS [With growing agitation.] I asked you before. Who moved in? I asked
you. You said the people who had it before moved out. Well, who moved
in? BEN [Hunched.] Shut up. GUS I told you, didn't I? BEN [Standing. [ Shut up! GUS [Feverishly.] I told you before who owned this place, didn't I? I told you.
[BEN hits him viciously on the shoidder.] I told you who ran this place, didn't I?
[BEN hits him viciously on the shoidder.] [Violently.] Well, what's he playing all these games for? That's what I want to know. What's he doing it for?
BEN What games?
GUS [Passionately, advancing.] What's he doing it for? We've been through our tests, haven't we? We got right through our tests, years ago, didn't we? We took them together, don't you remember, didn't we? We've proved ourselves before now, haven't we? We've always done our job. What's he doing all this for? What's the idea? What's he playing these games for?
[The box in the shaft comes down behind them. The noise is this time accompanied by a shrill whistle, as it falls. GUS rushes to the hatch and seizes the note.]
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THE DUMB WAITER / 262 1
[Reading.] Scampi! [He crnm-ples the note, picks up the tube, takes out the whistle, hlows and speaks.]
WE'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT! NOTHING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
