you privately for a moment. CECILY. Ask Mr. Ernest Worthing to come here. I suppose you had better
talk to the housekeeper about a room for him. MERRIMAN Yes, Miss. [MERRIMAN goes off.] CECILY
I have never met any really wicked person before. I feel rather frightened. I am so afraid he will look just like everyone else. [Enter ALGERNON, very gay and debonair.] He does!
ALGERNON [Raising his hat.] You are my little cousin Cecily, I'm sure. CECILY
You are under some strange mistake. I am not little. In fact, I believe I am more than usually tall for my age. [ALGERNON is rather taken aback.] But I am your cousin Cecily. You, I see from your card, are Uncle Jack's
brother, my cousin Ernest, my wicked cousin Ernest.
ALGERNON
Oh! I am not really wicked at all, cousin Cecily. You mustn't think
that I am wicked.
CECILY
If you are not, then you have certainly been deceiving us all in a very
inexcusable manner. I hope you have not been leading a double life, pre
tending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be
hypocrisy. ALGERNON [Looks at her in amazement.] Oh! Of course I have been rather reckless.
CECILY
I am glad to hear it.
ALGERNON
In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my
own small way.
CECILY
I don't think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must
have been very pleasant.
ALGERNON
It is much pleasanter being here with you.
CECILY
I can't understand how you are here at all. Uncle Jack won't be back
till Monday afternoon.
ALGERNON
That is a great disappointment. I am obliged to go up by the first
train on Monday morning. I have a business appointment that I am anxious
.. . to miss.
CECILY
Couldn't you miss it anywhere but in London? ALGERNON No: the appointment is in London. CECILY
Well, I know, of course, how important it is not to keep a business
engagement, if one wants to retain any sense of the beauty of life, but still
I think you had better wait till Uncle Jack arrives. I know he wants to speak
to you about your emigrating.
ALGERNON
About my what?
CECILY
Your emigrating. He has gone up to buy your outfit.
ALGERNON
I certainly wouldn't let Jack buy my outfit. He has no taste in
neckties at all.
CECILY
I don't think you will require neckties. Uncle Jack is sending you to Australia.5
5. The British had originally viewed Australia as a ters as a place, like Canada, to which families place to which they banished their criminals. By might send harmless but useless members, who this time, however, it was perceived in some quar-would be paid an allowance to remain abroad.
