And often, I've been told, not even to her.
MISS PRISM That depends on the intellectual sympathies of the woman. Maturity can always be depended on. Ripeness can be trusted. Young women are green, [DR. CHASUBLE starts.] I spoke horticulturally. My metaphor was drawn from fruits. Rut where is Cecily?
CHASUBLE
Perhaps she followed us to the schools.
[Enter JACK slowly from the hack of the garden. He is dressed in the dee-pest mourning, with crape hat-band and black gloves.]
MISS PRISM
Mr. Worthing!
CHASUBLE
Mr. Worthing?
MISS PRISM
This is indeed a surprise. We did not look for you till Monday
afternoon. JACK [Shakes MISS PRISM'S hand in a tragic manner.] I have returned sooner than I expected. Dr. Chasuble, I hope you are well?
CHASUBLE
Dear Mr. Worthing, I trust this garb of woe does not betoken some
terrible calamity?
JACK
My brother.
MISS PRISM
More shameful debts and extravagance?
CHASUBLE
Still leading his life of pleasure? JACK [Shaking his head.] Dead! CHASUBLE
Your brother Ernest dead?
JACK
Quite dead.
MISS PRISM
What a lesson for him! I trust he will profit by it.
CHASUBLE
Mr. Worthing, I offer you my sincere condolence. You have at
least the consolation of knowing that you were always the most generous
and forgiving of brothers.
JACK
Poor Ernest! He had many faults, but it is a sad, sad blow.
CHASUBLE
Very sad indeed. Were you with him at the end? JACK NO. He died abroad; in Paris, in fact. I had a telegram last night from the manager of the Grand Hotel.
CHASUBLE
Was the cause of death mentioned? JACK A severe chill, it seems. MISS PBISM
AS a man sows, so shall he reap. CHASUBLE [Raising his hand.] Charity, dear Miss Prism, charity! None of us are perfect. I myself am peculiarly susceptible to drafts. Will the interment
take place here?
JACK
No. He seemed to have expressed a desire to be buried in Paris.
CHASUBLE
In Paris! [Shakes his head.] I fear that hardly points to any very serious state of mind at the last. You would no doubt wish me to make some slight allusion to this tragic domestic affliction next Sunday, [JACK presses his hand convulsively.] My sermon on the meaning of the manna in the wilderness can be adapted to almost any occasion, joyful, or, as in the present case, distressing. [All sigh.] I have preached it at harvest celebrations, christenings, confirmations, on days of humiliation and festal days. The last
time I delivered it was in the Cathedral, as a charity sermon on behalf
of the Society for the Prevention of Discontent among the Upper Orders.
