Our street is full of acrid smoke, I went to see the bonfire, the
Mr Cherry is going to have to dig a big pit and pourquicklime over the
Back to school. The dog is at the vet’s having the cotton wool surgically removed.
My nipples have swollen! I am turning into a girl!!!
Dr Gray has struck me off his list! He said nipple-swelling is common in boys. Usually they get it when they are twelve and a half. Dr Gray said I was emotionally and physically immature! How can I be immature? I have had a rejection letter from the BBC! And how could I have walked to the surgery with swollen nipples?
I don’t know why he calls it a surgery anyway; he never does any surgery in it.
Told Mr Jones I couldn’t do PE because of swollen nipples. He was extremely crude in his attitude. I don’t know what they teach them at teacher-training college.
Pandora and I had a frank talk about our relationship tonight. She doesn’t want to marry me in two years’ time!
She wants to have a career instead!
Naturally I am devastated by this blow. I told her I wouldn’t mind her having a little job in a cake shop or something after our wedding, but she said she intended to go to university and that the only time she would enter a cake shop would be to buy a large crusty.
Harsh words were exchanged between us. (Hers were harsher than mine.)
Charred
The dog’s ears are now clear of cotton wool. It only pretends not to hear.
Went to see B.B. but he is out with Queenie. She is pushing him around the leisure centre.
Read
I came home from school with a headache. All the noise and shouting and bullying is getting me down! Surely teachers should be better behaved!
My father is a serious worry to me. Even the continuing news of Princess Diana’s conception does not cheer him up.
Grandma has already knitted three pairs of bootees and sent them off care of Buckingham Palace. She is a true patriot.
The trees are stark naked. Their autumnal clothes Litter the pavements. Council sweepers apply fire Thus creating municipal pyres. I, Adrian Mole, Kick them And burn my Hush Puppies.
I have copied it out carefully and sent it to John Tydeman at the BBC. He strikes me as a man who might like poems about autumn leaves.
I have got to get something broadcast or printed soon else Pandora will lose all respect for me.
Pandora has suggested I start a literary magazine using the school duplicator. I wrote the first edition during dinner-time. It is called
Pandora looked at
She said she would do a piece about window-box gardening. Claire Neilson has submitted a punk poem, it is very avant garde, but I am not afraid to break new ground.
She wants it put in under an assumed name, her father is a Conservative councillor.
Nigel has written a short piece about racing-bike maintenance. It is very boring but I can’t tell him because he is my best friend.
We go to press on Wednesday. Pandora is typing the stencils over the weekend.
Here is my first editorial:
Hi Kids,
Well here’s your very own school magazine. Yes! Written and produced entirely using child labour. I have tried to break new ground in our first edition. Many of you will be unaware of the miracles of window-box gardening and the joys of racing-bike maintenance. If so, hang on to your hats, you’re in for a magic surprise!
We are going to charge twenty-five pence a copy.
Pandora’s father has stolen a box of stencils from his office. As I write, Pandora is typing the first pages of
