Down in the Zero

kicked them off. Then she turned around so her back was to the mirror, bent over and thrust her bottom at the magnifying glass, looking over her shoulder.

'It's a little bomb!' she said.

I took a look for myself. Not bad, I thought. A little round bomb, complete with fuse, sparks coming off the end like it was going to go off any minute.

'You like it?' I asked her.

'Oh, I love it. But shouldn't it be…bigger?'

'No. Anyone getting near enough to see it, it should be something just between you and them, right?'

'I guess so.'

'This way, it's like a beauty mark, unless you look real close.'

'It's great,' she said, wiggling her bottom hard. 'Does it mean something?'

'Sure. It means you're an explosive girl. Tick…tick…tick…'

'You want to…take a closer look?' she asked softly, walking over to the bed, bending over.

'I love my tattoo,' she said later, lying on her side, touching it with one finger.

'You get to decide this way,' I told her. 'For now, it'll be a secret.'

'I have lots of secrets,' she whispered. Sad, not teasing.

'We all do.'

'Charm does too. Charm has more secrets than anyone.'

'You seem to know some of them.'

'You mean the video? That's not a secret. She doesn't care what she does.'

'It wasn't her idea?'

'It was…a long time ago. When it started.' Fancy shifted her hips, throwing one leg over mine, warm wetness against my upper thigh. 'She got to watch. When we were kids. I never did.'

'Watch what?'

'Spanking. My father would spank me. All the time. For anything. For nothing. He'd call me and Charm into his den. He had a special chair for it. A chair with no arms. He would tell Charm to stand still. Then he'd put me over his knee and spank me. Hard. He always made me tell him why I was getting it. If I didn't tell him, I'd get it harder. It hurt. And it was…embarrassing. With Charm watching me and all. If I cried, I'd just get it more. Then he'd tell me to pull up my pants and go to my room, think about what I did. When I went out, he'd close the door behind me.'

'He never spanked Charm in front of you?'

'No. I guess he always waited until I was gone. I hated her for that— it wasn't fair.'

'How old were you?'

'When it started? I don't know. I was real little. Maybe first grade? I'm not sure. But it didn't stop until I was a senior in high school.'

'How did you get him to stop?'

'I didn't. That's when he committed suicide.'

'Did you ever tell anyone?'

'My mother. I told my mother. She tied me up. In a chair. She slapped me and slapped me, screaming. She told me I was a little slut. I didn't even know what it meant, then. She said if I ever told her filthy stories again, she'd burn me. She held a candle right up to my face. I was so scared I wet myself. She just left me there like that. For a long, long time. I never told her anything again.'

'Christ.'

'When I was about thirteen, Charm came into my room. When they were out for the evening. I was still sore. From what he did. She said she was sorry, asked me if I wanted her to rub some witch hazel on it, to take out the sting. I told her to get away from me— I hated her so.

'Did you think she was— ?'

'She went away,' Fancy continued like I hadn't said anything, 'but she came back in a little while. She had her nightgown on. She laid down on my bed and pulled it up. She asked me, did I want to spank her? To make up for what happened?' She took a deep breath— it caught somewhere in her throat. 'I did it. Harder and harder, but she never made a sound. When I was done, I was so tired I couldn't move my arm. My hand was sore from doing it. She turned over, said she was sorry. About what happened. I was crying by then, but she wasn't. She kissed me. I was all…excited, but I didn't know what it was. Charm knew. She…kissed me there too. Until I came.

'And now she— '

'She still does it. I still…hit her. And she makes me come. She was the one…with the vibrator. She put it inside me, held it there. She taught me to do it.'

'Why did she make the video with you?'

'For my business. It was Charm who got me into it. Right after my father died. She knew people, she said. Men mostly. I could do what I liked, and they'd pay for it.'

'You didn't need the money…?'