Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

(Why each general's office was so large, Draco wasn't quite sure. A chair and a desk would have worked for him. He wasn't even clear on why the generals needed offices at all, his soldiers knew where to find him. Unless Professor Quirrell had deliberately arranged the huge offices for them as a sign of status, in which case Draco was all for it.)

Granger sat on the room's single chair like a throne, all the way on the other end of the office from where the door opened. There was a long oblong table stretched across the middle of the room between them, and four small circular tables scattered around the corners, but only that one single chair, all the way at the opposite end. The room had windows along one wall, and one beam of sunlight touched the top of Granger's hair like a glowing crown.

It would have been nice if Draco could have walked slowly forward. But there was a table in the way, and Draco had to go around it diagonally, and there was no good way to do that in a dramatic and dignified fashion. Had that been deliberate? If it had been his father, it surely would have been; but this was Granger, so surely not.

There was nowhere for him to sit, and Granger hadn't stood up, either.

Draco kept the outrage entirely off his face.

'Well, Mr. Draco Malfoy,' Granger said once he stood before her, 'you requested an audience with me and I have been so gracious as to grant it. What was your plea?'

Come with me to visit Malfoy Manor, my father and I would like to show you some interesting spells.

'Your rival, Potter, came to me with an offer,' said Draco, putting a serious look on his face. 'He doesn't mind losing to me, but would be humiliated if you won. So he wants to join with me and wipe you out immediately, not just in our first battle, all of them. If I won't do that, Potter wants me to hold back or harass you, while he launches an all-out attack on you as his first move.'

'I see,' Granger said, looking surprised. 'And you're offering to help me against him?'

'Of course,' said Draco smoothly. 'I didn't think what he wanted to do to you was fair.'

'Why, that's very nice of you, Mr. Malfoy,' said Granger. 'I'm sorry for how I spoke to you earlier. We should be friends. Can I call you Drakey?'

Alarm bells started to sound in Draco's head, but there was a chance she meant it...

'Of course,' said Draco, 'if I can call you Hermy.'

Draco was pretty sure he saw her expression flicker.

'Anyway,' Draco said, 'I was thinking it would serve Potter right if we both attacked him and wiped him out.'

'But that wouldn't be fair to Mr. Potter, would it?' said Granger.

'I think it'd be very fair,' Draco said. 'He was planning to do it to you first.'

Granger was giving him a stern look that could possibly have intimidated him if he'd been a Hufflepuff instead of a Malfoy. 'You think I'm pretty stupid, don't you, Mr. Malfoy?'

Draco smiled charmingly. 'No, Miss Granger, but I thought I'd at least check. So, what do you want?'

'Are you offering to bribe me?' said Granger.

'Sure,' said Draco. 'Can I just slip you a Galleon and have you beat on Potter instead of me for the rest of the year?'

'Nope,' said Granger, 'but you can offer me ten Galleons and have me attack both of you equally, instead of just you.'

'Ten Galleons is a lot of money,' Draco said cautiously.

'I didn't know the Malfoys were poor,' said Granger.

Draco stared at Granger.

He was starting to get a strange feeling about this.

That particular reply didn't seem like it should have come from this particular girl.

'Well,' said Draco, 'you don't get to be rich by wasting money, you know.'

'I don't know if you know what a dentist is, Mr. Malfoy, but my parents are dentists and anything less than ten Galleons isn't worth my time at all.'

'Three Galleons,' Draco said, more as a probe than anything else.

'Nope,' said Granger. 'If you want an equal fight at all, I don't believe that a Malfoy wants an equal fight less than he wants ten Galleons.'

Draco was starting to get a very strange feeling about this.

'No,' said Draco.

'No?' said Granger. 'This is a limited time offer, Mr. Malfoy. Are you sure you want to risk a whole year of being miserably crushed by the Boy-Who-Lived? That would be pretty embarrassing for the House of Malfoy, wouldn't it?'

It was a very persuasive argument, one that was hard to refuse, but you didn't get to be rich by spending money when your heart told you it was a setup.

'No,' said Draco.

'See you on Sunday,' said Granger.