Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality

'It is no joke,' said Minerva, her voice barely above a whisper. 'Harry is already making original discoveries in Transfiguration, Severus. Though I did not know he was researching Charms as well.'

'Harry is no ordinary first-year,' the Headmaster said solemnly. 'He is marked as the Dark Lord's equal, and he has power the Dark Lord knows not.'

Severus was looking at her, and you would have needed to know him well to recognize that his glance was pleading. 'Am I to take this seriously?'

Minerva simply nodded.

'Does anyone else know of this... new and powerful Charm?' Severus demanded.

The Headmaster glanced at her apologetically -

Somehow she knew, she knew before he even said it, and she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs.

- and said, 'Quirinus Quirrell.'

'Why,' she said, in a voice that should have melted half the devices in the office, 'did Mr. Potter even TELL our Defense Professor about his brilliant new Charm for breaking out of prisons -'

The Headmaster passed a weary wrinkled hand across his equally wrinkled forehead. 'Quirinus just happened to be there, Minerva. Even I saw no harm in it at the time.' The Headmaster hesitated. 'And Harry said his Charm was too dangerous to be explained to either of us; and when I asked him again, this day, he insisted he had still not explained it to Quirinus, nor had he ever dropped his Occlumency barriers in the Defense Professor's presence -'

'Mr. Potter is an Occlumens? You gave him an invisibility cloak and he is immune to Veritaserum and he is friends with the Weasley twins? Albus, do you have any idea what you have unleashed upon this school?' Her voice was nearly shrieking, now. 'By his seventh year there won't be anything left of Hogwarts but a smoking hole in the ground!'

Albus leaned back in his great cushioned chair, and said, smiling, 'Don't forget the Time-Turner.'

She did scream then, but quietly.

Severus drawled, 'Should I teach him to brew Polyjuice, Headmaster? I ask only for the sake of completeness, in case you are not satisfied with the magnitude of your pet disaster.'

'Perhaps next year,' said Albus. 'My dearest friends, the question before us is whether Harry Potter has spirited Bellatrix Black out of Azkaban, which is more than youthful high spirits even by my tolerant standards.'

'Excuse me, Headmaster,' Severus said with one of the dryer smiles she had ever seen him deliver to Albus, 'but I will register my opinion that the answer is no. This is the Dark Lord's work, pure and simple.'

'Then why,' Albus said, and now there was no humor at all in his voice, 'when I planned to retrieve Harry immediately after his arrival in Diagon Alley, did I find that this would result in paradox?'

Minerva sank further back into her chair, dropped her left elbow onto the hard uncushioned armrest, leaned her head into her hand, and shut her eyes in despair.

There was a narrowly circulated proverb to the effect that only one Auror in thirty was qualified to investigate cases involving Time-Turners; and that of those few, the half who weren't already insane, soon would be.

'So you suspect,' Severus's voice was saying, 'that Potter went from Diagon Alley to Azkaban, then looped back to Diagon Alley afterward to be picked up by us -'

'Precisely,' said Albus's voice. 'Though it is also possible that Voldemort or his servants watched to make sure Harry did arrive in Diagon Alley, before they began their attempt on Azkaban. And that they had someone with a Time-Turner who would send back the message of their success, to trigger the abduction. Indeed, it was my suspicion of this possibility that caused me to dispatch you and Minerva on your own mission, before I myself went to Azkaban. I thought then that their breakout would fail, but if retrieving Harry Potter meant observing the fact of their eventual failure, then I myself could not have gone to Azkaban after I had interacted with him, for Azkaban's future cannot touch its past. When, in Azkaban, I received no report from you or Minerva, nor from Flitwick whom I told to try contacting you, I knew that your interaction with Harry Potter had been an interaction with Azkaban's future, meaning that someone was sending messages through Time -'

Then Albus's voice stopped.

'But Headmaster,' said Severus, 'you came back from Azkaban's future and interacted with us...'

The Potions Master's voice trailed off.

'But Severus, if I had received reports from you and Minerva of Harry's safety, I would not, in the first place, have gone backward in time to -'

'Headmaster, I think we must draw diagrams for this.'

'I agree, Severus.'

There was the sound of parchment being spread on a table, and then quills scratching, and more arguing.

Minerva sat in her chair, head resting in her hand, eyes shut.

There was a story she'd once heard about a criminal who had possessed a Time-Turner which the Department of Mysteries had sealed to him, in a case of extremely bad judgment as to who needed one; and there had been an Auror assigned to track down this unknown time-criminal, who had also been given a Time-Turner; and the story ended with both of them in St. Mungo's ward for Total Unrecoverable Nutcases.

Minerva sat there with her eyes shut, trying not to listen, trying not to think about it, and trying not to go insane.

After awhile, when the argument seemed to have wound down, she said aloud, 'Mr. Potter's Time-Turner is restricted to the hours of nine PM through midnight. Was the shell tampered with, Albus?'