— maybe
Twice now I’d seen the man frown at the mention of his wife.
I cleared my throat, brought up the same question in a new way. “So, I’m sure the guys appreciate having a cook like you in the house, but... you must prefer dining with your wife, right?”
“Actually, Val never wants me to go to any trouble. That woman’s happy with a cold beer and a couple of sliders.”
“Yeah, she mentioned her love of microbrews to me the other day. I was surprised. Considering her party- planning title, I figured her for a wine-and-brie girl.”
James folded his arms. “I’m the guy who won’t touch beer, not to save my life. Give me a nice glass of Bordeaux with dinner, a few stinky French cheeses at the end of the meal, and I’m a happy boy.”
An electronic crackle interrupted us. James stepped over to a shelf and turned down the volume on what looked like a small, boxy radio receiver.
“Sorry,” he said, “I was buffing.”
“What is that exactly? I saw a bumper sticker outside —
“You saw Oat Crowley’s car. That guy buffs in his sleep. When he dies, they’ll probably put an FDNY radio in Oat’s coffin.”
“So buffing has something to do with a
“Buffing is when you listen to FDNY chatter while you’re off duty. Even civilians do it, hence the title.”
“Oh, buffing is for fire
“Bingo,” James said. “But lots of firefighters do it, too. You don’t climb the ranks without putting in the time, staying on top of what’s happening — and I’m taking the lieutenant’s exam in a few weeks.”
As James turned back to his cooking, I began moving down the counter, checking things out (snooping really). Despite all the appliances, most of the floor space was taken up by a single scuffed table. My gaze ran over some job-related notices on one wall, then snagged on a colorful calendar taped to a cupboard door. The calendar was one of those famous FDNY specials — hunks in fire hats.
“Excuse me, James?” I pointed to the bulging muscles of Mr. March. “Is that who I think it is?”
“Yep,” he called from the stove, “that’s Bigsie in that cargo net. He’s still so proud of being named Mr. March he won’t let us take it down.”
“Take it down?” I absently repeated, my attention focused on the near-naked, shirtless giant, his arms and chest standing out in bold relief as he clung to a net woven of thick hemp.
Right behind me, I suddenly heard James laughing. “Like every red-blooded American woman who passes through here, you failed to notice that you’re gaping at
“Don’t worry about it,” James said. “All the ladies love Bigsie. He’s the wildest wolf in this lair, with the possible exception of our captain. But you already know that, right? I mean...” He lowered his voice. “That’s why you’re really here, aren’t you?”
“What? No! I’m here to help you and the guys with the donated espresso machine,
“Sorry.” James put up his hands. “Not my business.”
I changed the subject (fast) and pointed to the thick, wooden dining table. The circumference looked large enough to accommodate King Arthur’s crew. “So how many guys do you cook for on a given day?”
“Twenty or so, I guess, depending on who’s doing a mutual and who’s coming in for a visit.”
“You’re the only cook?”
“I’m the only one who actually knows what he’s doing. A couple of the guys have tried, but when I’m not around, meals come down to microwave reheats or calls for takeout.”
That’s when it hit me: all this trouble he’d gone to with the set up, all this passion he put into the firehouse meals...
“James, it sure looks like you could manage your own restaurant...”
“No. Not for me.”
“You’re that certain?”
“Ms. Cosi, I was raised in my family’s diner. Managing a restaurant’s all about routine — boring, boring, boring routine. And I like to keep things lively. I’ll cook for the guys, sure, but that’s it. I’d much rather be running into burning buildings than running a restaurant.”
But what James and Matt described as boring, I saw as constancy, dependability — maybe even loyalty.
Sure, my trade demanded that you show up every day and perform the same basic tasks. But the customers I served gave up their hard-earned money in exchange for those tasks, and that wasn’t an unworthy thing. To me, maintaining high standards was far from tedious. Every morning, I embarked on my own little war, or at least a series of ongoing battles. Managing the Blend was a continuously renewing challenge.
Of course I didn’t articulate any of this. I wasn’t here to debate James on my view of the food-and-beverage service trade. I was here to fight another kind of battle...
“Excuse me, Ms. Cosi,” James said when a kitchen clock pinged. “I’ll just need a few minutes...”
“Take your time,” I said, and went back to looking around. I scanned the various posters on the wall, but they were mostly job related: official announcements, charts, and instructions. Then I spotted a worn wooden closet door across the room. It was covered from top to bottom with personal photographs.
I moved closer. The pictures were all taken at what looked like annual firehouse picnics. Each was hand labeled by year.
“Looks like you guys have a lot of picnics,” I called to James.
“Guess so,” he replied from the sink. “The guys with families do a thing in August at Six Flags, but our biggest event is the bash right after Medal Day. The captain has a great spot in Flushing Meadow Park on permanent reserve for us.”
As James continued working, I examined the picture gallery. The photos were hung year by year in vertical columns that ran from the top of the door to the bottom. One or two group shots of the company were followed by pictures of the men paired with their wives, families, or significant others.
I noticed an older photo of Captain Michael Quinn and got down on one knee for a closer look. The picture was taken during the 2000 picnic. Captain Michael was grinning like a giddy boy. He looked so relaxed, so lighthearted. He had a woman on his arm. She was nearly as tall as the captain with a voluptuous figure and long, straight raven hair. The photographer caught her in the middle of a laughing fit, and her face was partially hidden by her hand. She was in the 2001 pictures, too — or I was fairly sure it was the same woman. In this photo her beautiful windswept hair was off her face and I got a good look — oval face, long nose, slightly pointy chin, wide, perfect, carefree smile.
In the photos after 2002, the woman was gone. Captain Quinn appeared alone, dateless, and far less lighthearted. In some of these later photos he hadn’t even mustered a smile.
My gaze continued moving up through the years of picnic photos — and then it stopped moving. As I stared at one particular photo, taken just three years ago, the tight, forced smile of Lucia Testa stared back at me.
Just then, I heard heavy footsteps walking up behind me.
My gaze still focused on Lucia’s face, I tapped the photo.
“James,” I said. “Did you know that Lucia Testa is in one of these pictures? She’s standing among a group of men. Was she seeing one of these five guys, do you know? I see Oat Crowley is in the group — ”
