Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

Bourgh. 

The gentlemen did not linger in the dining room but joined the ladies during the second movement of the sonata. When Mary’s exemplary performance was completed and appreciatively applauded, Fitzwilliam Darcy asked his betrothed if she would care to take a stroll in the garden with him. The night was crisp and clear, and he wanted to spend time with her under the stars and perhaps share a kiss. He helped Elizabeth bundle up in her pelisse and said, “You realize, love, when we reside in Northumberland during the winters, we may have to forsake the great outdoors for the grate indoors. The weather will be colder than that to which you are accustomed. While we can, let us take advantage of this fi-nite and do some stargazing.” 

They walked in the garden, arm-in-arm, away from the light of the windows in order to better see the night sky. Darcy settled Lizzy in his arms with her back against his chest and spoke softly near her ear. “Among your other amazing accomplishments, are you also an amateur astronomer, Elizabeth?” When she shook her head, he pointed toward to a point of light in the sky and said, “That, my dear, is the dog star.” 

“Are you certain, Fitzwilliam? I do hope you are not teasing me, for this stellar lesson must be absolutely Sirius.” She turned to face him, and he knew he was about to be teased by the glint in her eyes, the arch of her brow, and the sassy smile he loved so much. “Hmm, Mr. Darcy, I wonder what would be the correct term for a mutual physical force attracting two bodies. But again, the gravity of the matter must not be taken lightly.” 

“Ha, hardy har. I thought you said you had no knowledge of astronomy.” 

“Well, my father did teach me a bit, sir. So allow me to test your own stellar knowledge. Which constellation is also an Irishman’s drink?” 

Darcy searched for a possibility, but having Elizabeth in his embrace distracted his thoughts. “I shall probably kick myself when I hear this. What is the answer?” 

“O’Ryan’s Belt. Really, Fitzwilliam, your knowledge of heavenly bodies is certainly not a force with which to be reckoned.” 

“I must not decide on my own performance.” He wrapped his arms firmly around her and continued, “However, you were correct heavenly bodies have a very strong attractive force, Lizzy.” 

She giggled and said, “Why do I have the feeling you are no longer speaking of celestial objects, sir?” 

“You are a very quick learner, sweetheart, and I am starry eyed. Astronomy lesson over – anatomy lesson next. Kiss me and discover the affect you have on my poor heart. It races whenever you are near, and …” 

A footman’s “Ahem” cut through the night and pulled the young lovers apart. “Excuse me, Miss, but you are needed inside. Lady Anne and Miss Darcy request your opinion on some wedding arrangements.” 

The chaste kiss he had bestowed upon Elizabeth amongst the branches of the oak tree in the park had merely whetted Darcy’s appetite for more, and he had anticipated and planned for their first passionate one to be that evening under the stars. An embarrassed and contrite footman, who stood fifteen feet away, could hear the gentleman’s frustrated sigh. 

Elizabeth felt the exasperated exhalation ruffle the curls atop her head. “Sorry, Fitzwilliam. We were lucky to have those few moments alone. There are still many last-minute details to be considered before we all leave Town for Derbyshire.” 

“I fail to understand why you have to be so personally involved. Our mothers, together with Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds at Pemberley, are taking care of all the preparations for the ceremony and celebration.” 

“I do not believe I have ever seen you pout before, Mr. Darcy. You look like a spoiled little boy, and I hope our sons will look just like their father.” 

“Sons, Elizabeth? How many children do you foresee in our future? Similar to your parents, we may be blessed with five lovely daughters before an heir arrives.” 

“If such is the case, we shall simply have to keep trying. As I said before, practice makes perfect, Mr. Darcy; and I know you do strive for perfection.” 

Bingley had not corresponded with his sister during the first two blissful weeks of her absence. To be perfectly honest, due to being so wrapped up in rapt attention to Anne de Bourgh, he had not given much thought at all to Caroline. So when a letter finally arrived from Staffordshire, Charles was only a trifle curious why it might be in his aunt’s slapdash and slipshod handwriting rather than his sister’s fastidious penmanship; however, he was more than a trifle peeved, grieved, and discontent with its content.

Dearest Neffew,

Smudgething has ocurd of a most serious nature; blot I am afraid of alarming you, so be assured your uncle and I are find. Please excuse the way I right, which has been described as smudgelar to yours; we both have a tendency to mispell, leave out half our, and blot the rest. Today I am under pressure and am at present tense. The bumblebloth relates to your bacon-brained sister, for smudge has fled to Gretna Green in Sotland with a fiend of yours, a George Wackhim, from nayboring Derbyshire.

Bingley’s heart raced while he paced and thought with distaste, Fiend, indeed! His name, dear aunt, is actually Wickham. Just the same, if he has in any way compromised Caroline, whack him is what I shall surely do! Steps were retraced, and he braced himself as he sat and faced his sister’s disgrace.

Although we were surprised by the actual elopement, the match itself was not holy unexpected. The young blot presented hisself to us at the assembly here in Tutbury the night falling Caroline’s arrival, and your uncle and I remembered his name as being that of one of your Cambridge fiends. His familyarity with you, in addition to your sister’s prays of his home on a fine estate, led us to believe he was off good character and fairly flush in the pockets. Therefore, we smudgesequently aloud Wreakharm to call on Caroline, and Mrs. Teak chaperoned during his visits. We all assumed the growing attachment …

Attached growth, more like, Bingley thought as, with the utmost impatience, he instantly turned the page over and continued to learn how Wickham had wreaked harm and havoc on his family.

… would follow the normal coarse of curtship and engagment. Obviously our conjecture was blot and naïve. The two rascals fled Saturnight about twelve o’ the clock but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight while we ate. Caroline did smudge a few lines informing us of her intention, and your uncle immediately departed in poorsuit.My dear Charles, I wish this may be more intellijibble; blot my head is so bewildered I cannot answer for being coherent. I have just now been advised by express post there is reason to fear cork-brained Caroline and her lecherous lover are not gone to Regretna Green at all; and we are now anxious to be assured a marriage between your smudge and the blot has, in fact, taken place. Unable to locate the rapskillions, your Uncle Bart did discover George Wreckhart is not an astute owner after all, but rather the son of an estate stewart. Imagine our surprise! The Darcy family of Pemburly is certainly well respected in this region and very much smudge. My husband visited and spoke with the senior Mr. Workhim, who has no knowledge of his son’s enloopment. Apparently the young rake was on an important errant for his parent and is expected to return to Pembloty tomorrow. Your uncle is staying at an in inn Lamptown awaiting the arrival of the wretched wastrel and our poor retch of a niece. Whatever the outcome, your sister has now been brought to point non-plus and will have to become riveted to your fiend. If convenient, nefpew, I earnestly beg you to come here as blot as possible. Hopefully it will not be long before Caroline reappears.

Your loving aunt,

Rhea Piers.

Charles Bingley flung the ill-written pages onto his desk, restlessly paced back and forth again, raked both hands through his hair, and exclaimed, “Holy heaven and bloody hell! I have been a friend to that fiend for years, so I know him too well to doubt his intentions. How dare the cad dally with my dear sister! I shall now have to commit Wickhamicide.”

He suddenly remembered Fossett was lurking in the hallway and kept further thoughts to himself. Although he would not put it past Caroline to deliberately engage in an elopement, he had difficulty believing his sister would pass up the opportunity for a fine wedding with an attendant and all its attendant finery. But, perhaps, in her current fragile state, neither her virtue nor her understanding would preserve Caroline from falling an easy prey.