And now that it had hit, it was even worse than I‘d feared it would be. I could feel it — I was older. Every day I got older, but this was different, worse, quantifiable. I was eighteen.
And Edward never would be.
2. LINKIN PARK, ?PAPERCUT?
Chapter 1 Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm — into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.
3. MUSE, ?HYPER MUSIC?
Chapter 3 ?You… don‘t… want me?? I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
?No.?
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz — hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he‘d spoken.
4. MUSE, ?APOCALYPSE PLEASE?
Chapter 3 With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.
5. THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS, ?TIME STANDS STILL?
Chapter 4 Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.
6. MARJORIE FAIR, ?EMPTY ROOM?
Chapter 4 I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end, I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn‘t seen that one coming.
Not that I hadn‘t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once — just never a grotesque, animated corpse.
Not that I hadn‘t dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once — just never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. I couldn‘t afford to think about what I‘d once dreamed of.
It was depressing to realize that I wasn‘t the heroine anymore, that my story was over.
7. MATCHBOX TWENTY, ?UNWELL?
Chapter 6 Charlie stared at me during breakfast, and I tried to ignore him. I supposed I deserved it. I couldn‘t expect him not to worry. It would probably be weeks before he stopped watching for the return of the zombie, and I would just have to try to not let it bother me. After all, I would be watching for the return of the zombie, too. Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured.
8. JIMMY EAT WORLD, ?PAIN?
Chapter 7 I turned my back on the gaping emptiness and hurried to my truck. I nearly ran.
I was anxious to be gone, to get back to the human world. I felt hideously empty, and I wanted to see Jacob. Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before. I didn‘t care. I pushed my truck as fast as it would go as I barreled toward my fix.
9. THE VINES, ?RIDE?
Chapter 8 I‘d left my stomach back at the starting point; the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins.
10. COLDPLAY, ?FIX YOU?
Jacob‘s perspective
Chapter 9 ?It‘s just that, I know how you‘re unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn‘t help anything, but I wanted you to know that I‘m always here. I won‘t ever let you down — I promise that you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you??
11. ROONEY, ?BLUESIDE?
Chapter 9 I was in deeper than I‘d planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn‘t bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn‘t keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew that I would let him try.
He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.
12. THE FRAY, ?OVER MY HEAD (CABLE CAR)?
Chapter 11 I‘d thought Jake had been healing the hole in me — or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much. I‘d been wrong. He‘d just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss cheese.
13. EVANESCENCE, ?GOING UNDER?
Chapter 15 I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool — feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring….
And I flung myself off the cliff.
14. BRAND NEW, ?TAUTOU?
Chapter 15 My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I‘d forgotten what real happiness felt like.
Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.
15. RELIENT K, ?BE MY ESCAPE?
Chapter 16 What if Paris had been Juliet‘s friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she
