The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide

or to stand in line to meet me. And so I‘m pouring my energy out onto these people, and trying to give them as much as I can. I mean, I‘m sure you‘ve had this, too — more than I have — where people will fly in from several states away just to meet you for those few seconds in line. And I think: How on earth could I make this worth their time?

SM: Exactly. And, in fact, I felt so much pressure not to be a letdown that, on my last tour, I brought along a rock star. And I felt so much better. [Laughs] Justin Furstenfeld from Blue October came and played some of the music that inspired my writing, and we interviewed each other onstage. I enjoyed what he did so much that I thought: You know what? These kids are getting an amazing show. This is special — this is something that is worth them coming out for. If I ever tour again, I will not leave the house without a rock star by my side. [Laughs] That is the new rule. Or…

SH: A juggling act — a magician.

SM: A magician would be good! Because, well, honestly, in person, there‘s nothing really that great either of us can do. We write books, so our big finale is sitting in front of a little computer, in a little room. And it‘s not something exciting to watch. It‘s the story that‘s the exciting part, and anybody can get that at the bookstore.

I‘ve had the experience where I got to meet one of my personal idols, just because a friend pulled some strings and I got backstage at a concert. I lived off that for months. So I try and remember that, and think: You know what? It means something to them, even though I can?t understand why it would be anything special.

SH: You know, it is true. I really can be such a fangirl. And I get so excited when I meet with writers….

SM: On the last tour I got to go out to lunch with Terry Brooks. The first real book I ever read was The Sword of Shannara. I was sitting next to this man who has so much experience—

and so many years of doing this — and I‘m thinking: This book opened the entire world of reading to me. The gift that this man has given me, unconsciously, is nothing I could ever, ever repay. It was just this really amazing experience.

On Balancing Writing and Life

SH: It took me a long time to admit that I was a writer. I wouldn‘t give myself permission to take the time — or to take it seriously — for a long, long time. But you started off in a different way. You already had three kids.

SM: I did not call myself an author without making some kind of snide comment for at least two years after the book was sold.

SH: Two years?

SM: I had this really strong sense of paranoia — like it wasn‘t real, that the whole deal was a practical joke — for a very long time. Because the contract negotiation took a good nine months, so for all of that time someone could have been stringing me along. It wasn‘t until the check came — and didn‘t bounce — that I really started to believe it.

SH: Have people changed toward you — family, friends, and acquaintances?

SM: You know, because when I started writing I had a bunch of little babies, we‘ve moved a couple times. And you lose track of people, anyway, so I haven‘t held on to many of my friends from before I started writing, just because of location.

It‘s the same way with my college roommates. We‘re lucky if we get a phone call in once a year anymore. Then I‘ve gotten enormously busy — I‘ve changed — I don‘t have as much time for social things. And I do think that I probably lost some friends just out of sheer neglect.

Because I wasn‘t going to neglect my kids.

And that summer with Twilight, I couldn‘t do anything social. Why would I spend my time away from Forks when I could be there?

SH: Yeah.

SM: And that summer with Twilight, I couldn‘t do anything social. Why would I spend my time away from Forks when I could be there? I‘m getting better at balancing it, and I have some really great friends now, which is nice. I have a lot of extended family, too, and they‘ve all been very cool and supportive. But because there are so many of them, we haven‘t been able to spend a lot of time together. I have seventy-five first cousins on one side of my family, so it‘s not like we can get together and party very often. Most of us have several kids. My dad had a stepmom with five kids; his dad had seven…. It‘s just a really big family. [Laughs] A big warm family, and nobody‘s been uncool about it. It‘s all been very nice.

SH: I think family is good…. They knew you as an obnoxious young person. [Laughs]

SM: Very obnoxious. Yeah, I‘m just Stephenie to them.

SH: I don‘t think any success I‘ve had has gotten to my head, because I can‘t really take it seriously, or absorb it, anyway. But if I ever got close, I think my family would be there to tear me back down. [SM laughs] Which is what family‘s for.

SM: Yeah, my husband‘s really good at keeping me humble, you know? Because he‘s such a math person. If something‘s not quantifiable — if it doesn‘t fit into an equation — it can‘t possibly be important. And so, to him, books are like: Oh, you know… isn?t that nice? Little fairy stories. To me, books are the whole world, and it‘s such a different viewpoint. So that helps. And then, like you, I don‘t trust this to last for a second.

SH: Yeah.

SM: And when negative things happen with my career, I kind of expect them — more than I expect the positive. It‘s almost like: Yes, this is what I thought was going to happen! I saw this one coming! Because I am a pessimist — raised in a long tradition of fine pessimists [SH laughs] who have never expected anything good for decades. So I come by it naturally. [Laughs]

So with every book that comes out, I think: Oh, this is it. This is the last time anybody?s going to want to publish me. And maybe it‘s healthier than thinking: I am the best! I?m so amazing! I don‘t think that‘s a healthy way to be. It‘d probably be nice to be somewhere in the middle, but… [Laughs]