'Yes. It's possible, but difficult and time consuming.'
She smiled. 'It helps the potion makers to command a high price in return for their skills. Supply and demand.'
'Can I ask you a hypothetical question that I've been wondering about?' I asked.
'Of course.'
'Okay, so let's say somebody drinks a potion, but then something bad happens and they change their mind. Could it be reversed? Is there, like, another potion they could take to cancel out the effects?'
She looked at me with confusion. 'Why would that be something you're concerned with?'
'I don't know.' I crossed my arms, the whole situation making every muscle in my body tense. 'I've been working out all sorts of ideas. I was thinking earlier, what if I drank the potion, waited long enough for you to become queen, and then, if there's a reversal potion, I could drink that so I could remember everything?' I stopped talking and chewed my bottom lip nervously.
'Oh, Nikki.' She touched my face. 'That is a very clever idea. Yes, the Underworld potion makers always create an anti-potion for everything. It's a byproduct of the potion itself and a very good fail-safe-after all, one can never be too careful when it comes to magical brews.'
'It's like an antidote?'
'Yes. But I don't think it'll work,' Elizabeth continued. 'I'd love for you to keep your memories. I'd love to get to know you and have you visit me once I'm unable to leave the castle. But I'm worried it won't work as well as you think it will.'
'Why not?' I asked. I'd already assumed that particular idea of mine might not work, but I was still disappointed it was getting shot down so quickly by my aunt.
'Along with your memories come the problems we had to begin with. The deadly instability of your Darkling status, for one. I've already told you of the poor creatures in the past who've died from harnessing their powers. And also, there is no guarantee that once you drink the anti-potion, the power of the kingdom won't then shift to you, when it realizes that you are again half demon. Your safety is my first concern.'
I touched the vial at the end of my chain. 'I appreciate that. But maybe I'm different. It's been a long time since the last Darkling.'
'Perhaps. But it's too dangerous to take that risk,' she said. 'You really must drink the potion now.'
'I need to see my father first.'
She squeezed my hand. 'I'll take you when I check in on him shortly. He's sent all of the servants away, now. He doesn't want anyone to see him as he is, but I'm sure he'll make an exception for you.'
I swallowed hard, relieved that she didn't want to keep arguing with me about the potion or seeing my father in his current condition. 'Thank you.'
I wanted to tell her about turning Darkling and being okay, but I decided to listen to Michael. Not yet. She would be more worried than she already was.
I glanced over at her gazer. 'Who were you talking to before I got here?'
'My boyfriend. Or rather'-she frowned-'I was trying to speak with him, but I couldn't seem to make contact.'
'You mentioned him yesterday,' I said. 'Who is he?'
Maybe it was none of my business, but I was curious. My aunt was still a complete mystery to me. She was beau-tiful and kind and concerned for my wellbeing even though she hadn't known I existed until just the other day. She was willing to sacrifice her freedom to become queen here in this empty castle. It seemed like a huge sacrifice to me.
'He's one of the princes of the Underworld-the opposite side to where we are now. His name is Kieran.' She smiled then. 'He's wonderful, really. So very handsome. I would have loved for you to meet him.'
That's where my father had said there were dragons. I still couldn't believe all of these other worlds existed alongside mine and I'd never had any idea.
'I lived there for several years until recently. I wanted to spend more time with Desmond so I returned here. I knew my brother was very lonely.'
I thought of how isolated my father must have been over the years. 'Was there ever a queen? Did my father ever fall in love with anyone else?'
She shook her head. 'Desmond has been devoted to the Shadowlands and protecting the human and faery realms. I suggested that a queen could be found for him, but he refused.' She sighed. 'I'm afraid he never moved on after your mother.'
'He thought she was dead. All of those years.'
'He loved her very much.' She glanced at her gazer.
'Like I love Kieran. I miss him already. I hope that he'll come to visit me very soon.'
'So he'll be able to come here?' I asked. 'I know my father said that other demons can't enter the Shadowlands.'
'They can't,' she said. 'Not without the king's permission. Or with my permission soon, I suppose. I will make an exception for Kieran, of course.'
'Of course.'
'Do you have a boyfriend, Nikki?'
That was a question I didn't really know how to answer. A couple days ago I would have said it was Chris, and that I was so happy about it, but now everything had changed. Drastically.
I forced myself not to glance at Michael, who stood silently behind me, but I could feel him looking at me.
'Well, Princess? Are you going to answer her question?'
I was glad he didn't use that ability of his too much. It was very distracting.
What do you think 1 should tell her? I projected back to him telepathically.
'Whatever you wish.'
I shifted my weight to my right bare foot. 'There's somebody I'm interested in. . but it's kind of complicated.'
Her lips stretched into a small grin. 'Love is always complicated, Nikki. What is this somebody like?'
Tall, dark, totally hot, and standing right behind me, I thought. However, I didn't send that particular thought to Michael.
Instead, I shrugged. 'He's really cute, even though he tries to hide it. He can be annoying and stubborn but that's just part of his charm. He's protective and sweet and an amazing kisser, and when I'm around him I don't want to be anywhere else.'
She looked very impressed by my description. 'He sounds perfect to me.'
'The thing is,' I continued, 'I'm not totally sure how he feels about me. Sometimes I get the feeling that he wants me to forget him, like, maybe his life would be easier if I wasn't in it. And then other times I feel like he thinks he's not good enough for me because we're really different in a lot of ways. The guy is a serious mystery.'
'Well, that's not perfect.' Elizabeth took my hands in hers. 'Nikki, dear, don't let anyone hold you back from getting what you want. Sometimes you have to trust your heart. Trust what that little voice inside is trying to tell you, even if it seems crazy.'
I let out a shaky breath. 'It's hard to do that.'
'I know it is. But that's my philosophy, and I've held on to it, no matter what difficult choices I've had to make.'
'That's great.'
She smiled. 'Love is the most important thing in the universe. Like how I love Kieran and how I love my brother. Desmond should have lived for many more years to rule the Shadowlands, but when he asked me to take
