'Just make sure she screams
BO TAO DID NOT SLEEP that night. He wandered through the dark and twisting passageways of the Forbidden City. He stared up at the home of the imperial virgins and fought the need to see her, to talk to her. He forced himself to walk away, then ended up in the tree platform watching another concubine 'show.' The very sight nauseated him, and yet he could not leave.
Was this what his future held? Staring at depraved shows, remembering stolen moments with the woman who would soon be empress? Ji Yue would never be seen through this window. She would be busy raising the next emperor and quietly helping to guide a nation.
He would have to leave. He knew he could not be anywhere near the empress without remembering, without thinking of how it felt to have her hand stroking him, her mouth surrounding him. He could not look at his couch without remembering her flushed skin as he brought her to fulfillment or how her body had writhed beneath his lips.
He would never be able to hide his thoughts from Yi Zhen. And though his emperor might be forgiving now, Yi Zhen was not known for his patience. He would not tolerate one of his closest advisors panting after his empress.
Bo Tao had to leave. He would pick a position far away from the Forbidden City, perhaps as ambassador to England or some other barbarian land. He would marry a political wife, someone who would not expect passion in her bed. Then he would sire a brood of children and think no more of Chen Ji Yue.
He dropped his head against the tree trunk and pushed the thought of her body from his mind. But that only reminded him that Ji Yue had other values. Her notes showed keen insight. If she were a man, he would hire her as his assistant and train her in the ways of politics. With the right guidance, she could become a fearsome leader and a great resource to the Dragon Throne.
But she was a woman, and her skills would make her the perfect empress. As a loyal bannerman, Bo Tao had sworn to give his life to the Dragon Throne. She was just one woman. Did his lust overrule his patriotism? Never! But what about love? Was love stronger than loyalty?
With a brutal curse, he left the concubines' display. He found himself once again staring up at the virgins' palace and praying that she would come out. Could he find a way to touch her again? Was there a way to risk a nightly dalliance? He toyed with the idea of overthrowing the entire government just so he could establish his own dynasty with her.
It was nearly dawn when he finally accepted that he was a fool. She was an empress-to-be, and he was
He turned and left the Forbidden City. He was only torturing himself here. There was no hope for him and Ji Yue, and yet…As he walked through the gate from the Forbidden City into Peking proper, a kind of madness seized him. Looking out into the dark city, he knew that there was a world beyond the walls of the imperial city, beyond China itself. A whole world where he could carve a place for himself and Ji Yue. If only he dared. If only she dared.
But he had to be very careful. He didn't know if he was being trailed, if some spy somewhere would see him. He couldn't afford to take the risk. So with all semblance of despondency, he hailed a rickshaw to take him home. He entered as usual, climbed into bed as usual. Then, when he was sure any possible spy would believe he'd fallen asleep, he slipped out of bed, darkened his skin with dirt and donned coolie pants and hat. Though his body ached for rest, he crept from his own home and headed for the docks.
Chapter 16
JI YUE DID NOT SEE Bo Tao that day. She searched for him discreetly. She prayed that every time she turned a corner, he would be there waiting. But she had to appear as if she didn't want, didn't yearn for even the slightest view of him. The constant pretending was giving her a terrible headache, but she consoled herself that if she were caught, she could claim to be watching for the emperor instead. After all, that's what all the other virgins were doing.
They were less than two days away from the final selection. All the remaining virgins would be brides, but what level of bride was still to be determined. The only examination left was the last verification of virginity. Excitement was mounting, now that everyone knew they would end up in one harem or another. The virgins' days were occupied with etiquette instruction. Ji Yue was taught how an imperial consort sat (beautifully), how she should eat (sparingly), how she should walk (rarely and with great beauty) and what she should say (nothing). The head eunuch was in charge of this instruction, and Ji Yue did her best to fade into the background. Unfortunately, that only increased his tight-lipped criticism of all she did. Meals, of course, were the worst. The dowager's critical eye missed nothing. And if she did, someone else was sure to tattle. Ji Yue had never met so many gossiping, backstabbing women. She certainly had never expected to live her life among them!
Worse, Ji Yue had an extra layer of deception to maintain during meals. After all, she was supposed to have a secret, near undeniable craving for food and sweets. So she had to remember to eat her food almost furtively, her hand motions a little rushed. Her anxiety needed to be clear but under the surface. Which soon created a very real problem with her food. One minute she really was starving, and the next she couldn't even face it.
And still Bo Tao stayed away. By the end of the evening meal, Ji Yue had worked herself into a state of high anxiety. She was convinced he had sent the message last night, and that she had failed him. He was now lying dead in some Peking garbage heap because she'd spurned him. The idea was completely ridiculous, but that didn't stop her imagination from running wild. If a messenger came to her tonight, nothing would keep her from going.
Fortunately, the messenger came before the final undressing. A eunuch sidled up to her as she was brushing out her hair. Though many girls kept their hair glued up for practical reasons, Ji Yue had never liked the feel of it, like a heavy brick upon her head. So she took the extra time every day and night to brush it out. Tonight, a pair of soft male hands pulled the brush away from her. She glanced up in shock at the pale-faced eunuch who immediately began stroking her with a too-gentle touch.
'What are you doing?' she said as she tried to jerk her head away.
Underneath the brush, he grabbed a hunk of her hair and held her firm. Apparently, the eunuch was a lot stronger than he looked. She glared at him in the mirror and fought the urge to grimace. First she had to know what he wanted. But she didn't have to treat him nicely to find out.
'Do you know,' she drawled, 'that even a clean man—' that was the euphemism for a eunuch '—will feel great pain when hit hard in the groin. I understand some even pass out.'
In the mirror the eunuch's eyes widened and he softened his grip on her hair. But he did not release her. 'I bring you a message,' he whispered. 'You are to come with me to speak with the emperor.'
So, not a message from Bo Tao. Her eyes stung more from that than the pain of having this man's meaty fist wrapped around her hair. She lifted her chin. 'I do not believe the emperor would send someone as brutal as you. Release my hair now or suffer as only a man can.'
He relaxed his grip, and she twisted her head away from him. Then she held out her hand for the brush. He gave it to her carefully, obviously afraid that she might beat him with it.
'You may leave now,' she said.
He didn't move. Instead, he gestured out her window. 'It is not just you, Virgin Chen Ji Yue. Others have been asked to a private audience.'
She didn't want to look; she was certain this was a trick. And yet her gaze was drawn to the window nonetheless. Was Bo Tao out there waiting in the shadows? No. But she did see three virgins being escorted somewhere. Each was accompanied by a eunuch, but the girls did not seem to be struggling. If anything, they appeared excited. Unfortunately, she couldn't see well enough to know which of the virgins had been selected.
'Who goes to this special audience?'
'Are you scared?' he taunted. Then his gaze grew sly. 'There will be food there. Special treats that are the emperor's favorite.'
