Charlotte looked up, her face reddening. “What?” she snapped.
“What are you…? What are you doing?”
“Excuse me,” Collins huffed as he stood up and pushed past her.
Elizabeth heard him leave; the sound of the door slamming broke her out of the trance. “Charlotte! What have you done?” she asked, horrified, as she rushed to her friend’s side. She heard the door of the suite open and close again, but she ignored it. “Oh my God! He didn’t force you, did he?”
“Nothing happened, Lizzy!” Charlotte snarled.
“Char, why?” Elizabeth’s voice was trembling. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“
Elizabeth looked at her in confusion, not noticing the two men observing from the doorway. “Charlotte, I find you with that, that…
“Because it’s the truth, Lizzy,” she retorted. “Nothing happened, and even if it did what business is it of yours?”
“I’m your friend, that’s what makes it my business. Why didn’t you tell me? I just can’t understand why —”
“I know you can’t understand! I’m not asking you to understand. I’m asking you to let it go!” Charlotte cut her off and then sighed and turned away. “I’m not like you, Lizzy,” she said in a calmer voice. “I’m not idealistic, and I’m not romantic like Jane. I never was.” She paused. “You want to know what happened? Fine. I’ll tell you! Bill wanted me, and I didn’t say no. That’s all,” she spat. “I
Elizabeth was stunned. She couldn’t understand why Charlotte would have ever done such a thing.
“Lizzy,” Elizabeth whirled around, surprised to find Richard standing in the room, his face pale and his eyes grave. “Could you excuse us please?”
Charlotte turned a sullen face to him then moved back to the window as Elizabeth left the room.
Richard closed the door slowly and turned back to Charlotte. Even with her back turned to him, he knew what she was feeling. He knew she was expecting him to blast her, so she could blast him back and avoid really talking about what happened. He could see it in the lines of her shoulders and the tension in her arms.
Instead he moved silently to her side and lightly put his hand on her shoulder. Charlotte flinched at the gentle touch but otherwise remained where she was. Richard felt it as she took a deep breath, and he felt the tension slowly draining out of her. When he thought she was ready, he turned her with his hands and took her into his arms, letting her rest her head against his chest.
“You are not supposed to be doing this,” she said finally, her voice weak. “You are supposed to be disgusted and yelling at me.”
“I know,” he said, his voice quiet. “But you’re talking to a recovering alcoholic. I’m afraid righteous anger looks pretty stupid on me.”
Charlotte chuckled once and let him lead her to the bed. They sat there, side by side, as Richard held her hand, unwilling to let her go. “Want to tell me what happened?” he asked.
Charlotte looked at him. His question was an offer for her to explain. He was not judging her in any way. She sighed tiredly. “Collins has been hitting on me for the last few weeks,” she admitted dully.
“Since Will threw him off the tour for hitting on Lizzy?”
Charlotte looked at him, her eyes wide. “What?”
Richard’s eyes grew sadder. “I thought you knew,” he explained. “Will threw Collins off the tour because he was hitting on Lizzy. That’s why he left so suddenly and never came back except for meetings.”
“Oh,” Charlotte said, her lips pressed tightly together. Clearly this was news to her.
“So, Collins was hitting on you?” Richard prompted, trying to get back to the issue of Charlotte.
Charlotte nodded. “He never forced or threatened me or anything. He just clearly thought LBS owed him a fuck for all the ‘wonderful’ assistance he’s given us. And he offered to help our CD along, so that didn’t hurt.”
Richard reached out and pulled her close to him, stroking her back comfortingly. “Why did you do it?” he asked.
“Why not?” she squeaked. “He was easy. I could kiss Collins and it was nothing to me. I could be in control with him. It would be a simple business transaction. He would help the band and I knew I would feel nothing for him, that he could never hurt me.” She closed her eyes and bit her lip hard, struggling to keep control. “It was just a business deal.”
Richard stayed calm, stroking her back, careful to remain open to her, but inside his heart was breaking in two. He was devastated to know that his Charlotte, his beautiful, beautiful Charlotte, could think she was worth so little. “Char, why didn’t you tell anyone?” he asked, again not judging, only seeking to understand.
“I tried,” she whispered.
Richard grew very still, his eyes not focusing on anything. Then slowly he licked his lips and attempted to speak words that were almost too difficult to say. “What do you mean?” he whispered hoarsely.
“I tried to tell you last night when Alex told me Collins was coming. I knew he would be expecting something from me today.”
With her words, Richard’s flesh turned to stone. He felt all the color, all the life draining out of his body, leaving only a worthless shell. He struggled to breathe as two facts became completely inescapable to him: he loved her, and just as surely, he was destroying her. He had a moment of breathtaking clarity and he knew what he needed to do. He had to save her, even if it meant losing himself. Gently he returned to stroking her back. “You should have told me, Char. I would have helped.”
Charlotte looked at him and he could see the anger in her eyes. “When?” she seethed. “When you were screwing that blonde?” She snorted. “It was easier on my pride just to do Collins.” She pulled away and walked across the room, crossing her arms in front of herself and pressing her hands to her chest.
“I’m sorry, Char; you’re right,” he said with a voice awash in sadness. He walked to her and rested his hands on her upper arms, her head fitting neatly under his chin, and they stood there, each lost in their own pain. “I’m very sorry, Charlotte. For what it’s worth, he won’t bother you anymore. Darcy will get rid of him and you’ll never have to see him again.”
Charlotte snorted derisively. “I told you, Collins was the least of my worries.”
He turned her around, her body not resisting him. She looked into his eyes, and for the first time, she found a wall there, a barrier. “I know. I’m going to try to fix that.” He kissed her once, softly. “Charlotte, you were wrong. You’re too good for the likes of him. You’re too good for the likes of me.”
“What?” Charlotte asked, confused and suddenly deeply worried.
For a moment he couldn’t answer her. “I just meant you sold yourself far too cheaply. You are very special, and I really hope that someday you know it.”
Charlotte’s chin began quivering and she shut her eyes tightly. “Please don’t say that.”
Richard took her close into his arms and nodded, his lips making soft soothing sounds in her ear. He could feel her fighting against her tears. He wished he could give her what she needed, so she could trust herself enough to cry in front of him. It was curious; she gave him every part of her body, but her soul she held far away from him. He smiled bitterly as he realized that this was for the best. He knew he could only bring her pain, and he loved her just enough to turn away from her.
He watched her pull herself together and put on a brave face for him. He smiled encouragingly at her. Yes, he told himself, this was best. He looked at her beautiful face, one he would always hold dear, and sincerely hoped that she would find someone who deserved her, someone better than himself.
As Elizabeth entered the living room of the suite, she was surprised to see Darcy there. Then she remembered she had invited him for dinner. He was speaking into his cell phone as waves of anger washed off him. His voice was low and dangerous.
“I want to be explicitly clear. I will
