nothing left. Then I opened my eyes and let Gabriella's blurry face swim back into focus. With surprise I saw that her eyes were damp with tears too. She blinked them away and took my hands in hers once more, giving them a gentle squeeze. Her skin was soft and there were no shocks, just a glowing feeling, which seemed to radiate through me. Somehow I didn’t feel ashamed that I’d just cried in front of her. All I felt was lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my chest.
“Feel better?” she asked.
“Yeah I do.” Scratching the back of my neck I added, “Sorry about dumping that on you.”
Gabriella shook her head. “You don't have to apologise to me. Never be ashamed of who you are or how you feel. Maybe you aren't the problem, maybe it's everyone else.”
Her look intensified, as if she were dealing with something internal. She crossed her arms over her chest and began to pace up and down. “Alexander, when I first saw you, I sensed something…different. I wanted to know you. That’s why I asked you to show me around.” Gabriella stopped pacing and stared at me. Alexander, I believe — no,” she tapped a hand against her chest, “I know that you have more courage and kindness within you than those…” she waved the hand in the air, “ testa di merdas could ever dream of having! If they can’t see what a sweet, kind, human being you are then it’s their loss. But I can and that’s why we’re friends.” Something seemed to flash inside her eyes. “I’m here now and god help anyone who tries to hurt you.”
Her face relaxed into a warm smile. “Things are going to get better, I promise” she said, “You just need to have more faith in yourself. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Good.”
She moved back over to the swing, picking up her food. I followed and sat back down. After popping a few chips in her mouth, Gabriella held the carton towards me. “Since you clearly didn’t like yours.” We both broke into a relieved laugh. “Thanks Gabriella,” I said, taking a few. She swallowed. “You're welcome and call me Ella if you like.” “Oh…okay. Is that what you like people to call you?” She shook her head. “People, no. Only those I like the most.”
The comment gave my stomach a little squeeze. “Okay, well you don’t have to call me Alexander either. To be honest I prefer Alex.” She nodded, sending her raven hair spilling down her face. “Deal.”*
That evening, I was hot topic at the dinner table. Mikey — reverting to irritating twerp mode — had told Mum and John all about seeing me and Gabriella together.
“She is super-hot. I mean like on another level. Everyone at school is talking about her!” he enthused, animating his words with over the top hand gestures. John raised his eyebrows as he swirled spaghetti around his fork. “And she was with Alexander?” “Nice,” I muttered under my breath. Mum beamed, clasping her hands together and leaning forward. “So is she your girlfriend Alex?” I groaned internally. I could feel the red fingers of embarrassment crawling up my face. “No, we’re just friends.” I replied in a firm tone. “I've been showing her around school, that’s all.”
John nodded as if an internal question had been answered. But he surprised me by adding, “Well, I think you should go for it. You never know, it could work out.” Mikey seemed a little confused too. “No Dad, she is like really hot.” “Shut up!” I yelled. “Sorry,” he shrugged looking at me, “I'm just saying.”
At that moment I had to resist the urge to dive across the table and beat Mikey to a pulp. Calm down, he’s just being an idiot I soothed myself. Slowly, my anger ebbed away. The problem wasn’t really him. It was more…me. My emotions had been up and down all day. After my heart to heart with Gabriella, I’d been in a euphoric state for hours. Then like a switch had been flipped, I was so angry I’d almost punched a first year in the face for bumping into me.
Mum smiled, “Well I agree with John. If you like her, then ask her out on a date.”
Desperate to get the attention away from me, I agreed that if the situation arose I would ask her out. I knew I’d never have the confidence to actually do it, but it got them off of my back.
After dinner I started to feel ill.
To my family’s surprise, I’d accepted an offer to watch a film. It was a pretty good one about a kid whose next door neighbour is a Vampire.
The movie was about an hour in when I started to sweat. Thick beads crawled into my eyes and stung them. I blinked, trying to focus on the film, but I was getting too hot. I started to fidget on the sofa, trying to find a comfortable position. A stuffy sickness began to rise in my stomach. My glands filled with spit.
“Can you open a window?” I asked John, whose chair was closest to the outside wall.
He looked at me like I was mad. “Are you kidding? It’s bloody freezing in this house as it is!” He made a tutting noise and turned back to the screen.
Mum gave me a concerned glance. “Are you feeling okay honey?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m just going to grab a drink.”
My legs could barely support my weight as I stood up. I stumbled my way to the kitchen, gripping the walls to keep myself upright. I grabbed a glass off the draining board and filled it with water. Finished the whole lot in three gulps and repeated the process.
Then I threw up.
I stood over the sink, heaving until there was nothing left. With shaking fingers, I clawed for the kitchen roll and used it to wipe my mouth. Something I ate? But even thinking was hard. It felt like my brain was shutting down.
Tiredness seized my body. Every joint became lead, every muscle, a bag of stones. My vision wavered as my eyelids drew together. I knew I should feel scared, but I couldn’t raise the energy to feel anything. I dragged my body into the hallway and slumped to my knees, crawling up the stairs.
“Are you okay Alex?” called Mum from the living room.
“Bed,” was all I could muster, as I heaved my way on all fours up the steps.
I was drenched in sweat. My clothes looked like they’d been retrieved from a swimming pool. The carpet chafed against my wet skin, leaving fierce red marks on my arms and stomach as I dragged myself upwards. I reached my room in what seemed like hours. I barged my shoulder against the door. It swung open, knocking against the wall with a low thud.
I pulled myself onto the bed without even stopping to remove my sodden clothes. A wave of sickness rushed through my stomach. I leaned over the far side and vomited into the bin.
Whimpering, I rolled onto my back. The ceiling spun around like a car wheel. A small pitiful moan escaped my lips and with no strength left, my body sank into the mattress and my eyelids closed.
I was still in my room but I could feel that I wasn't alone. People were moving about in the shadows, their voices barely a whisper.
The bed shifted as someone leaned over me. I could feel them near my skin, could hear their low steady breathing. I tried to open my eyes, but they wouldn't respond. Panic exploded in my stomach. I wanted to scream for help, but my mouth wouldn't work. It felt like it had been glued shut. Terror replaced the panic. Inside I was writhing around like a wounded animal, screaming and fighting, but on the outside I would have appeared as still as the dead. More closed in around me, their breath warm on my face. I could smell something familiar, but couldn't place it. They spoke in small hushed bursts.
“ It’s definitely happening.”
“ We should take him now.”
“ I'll carry him.”
Someone scooped me up from under the covers as if I were a baby and flopped me over their shoulder. I strained with all my strength to get some part of me to respond — to fight off my kidnappers and escape — but nothing happened. I was a rag doll.
I felt the slight rise and fall as my kidnapper moved across the bedroom. My stomach lurched as the ground dropped away.
A second later a jarring sensation shook my body and I heard a loud crunch like a hammer on gravel. I realised with pure shock that whoever was carrying me had jumped out of my bedroom window. If I could have screamed I would have. No human could do that without serious damage to us both.
There were a few more heavy thumps onto the gravel as the others followed. Then the rhythmic walking started again — the steady rise and fall.
