'Thanks, angel,' I said, rushing to the door.
The crowd busting up the store stopped the second I stomped in. They were a strange lot-mostly young, mostly well-dressed. Trim, shaven, shorn. The black, leatherbound books they used to swat at the merchandise were like badges on cops. The crosses they swung as swords to smash bottles and panes told me the whole story. Or so I thought.
'Knock it off, kids. Go show your religious tolerance somewhere else.'
They stared at me. I felt colder than ever.
The cleanest, most upright looking of the bunch-an auburn-haired boy in a blue serge suit-stepped to the front of the crowd and ogled me with the look of a rabid gopher.
'We know what you witches are up to.' His voice trembled with rage. 'God told us you're the one. You and these devil-worshippers have made a pact to-'
'Look, kid.' I raised my voice to carry across the crowd. 'I don't care what personal revelations you get in the bathtub, but I'm just a normal man doing normal things in a normal place of commerce. Scram before I call an atheist.'
The kid held up his crucifix. The others followed his lead. I must have disappointed them when I didn't burst into flames or transmute into a bat. I made the mistake of letting loose with an appropriately derisive snort.
The youngsters took a collective step forward, broken glass crunching under their heels.
'Now you've done it,' Kasmira said from behind the counter. 'Jesus Chr-'
The ringleader's voice exploded. 'A
profanes our Lord's name!'
'Thanks, Kas,' I said.
A cross spun through the air, whirring till it bounced off the steel edge of a shattered display.
I resorted to my parole officer image. 'Can it, punks. You're not giving your faith much of a public relations boost.'
'We're ready to die for our Lord,' shouted a voice from the back.
'Right,' I said, 'and ready to kill for your Prince of Peace. You dopes give me a pain where I put chairs. For the second time-scram!'
The kids looked at one another nervously. The one with the loud mouth spoke in a voice that quavered with anger.
'There shall come a Rapture when all true Christians will rise unto Heaven, leaving you and your scum to the Earth and its Tribulation' 'Well,' I said, looking several of them in the eyes, '`the dead in Christ shall rise first.' Anyone want to get at the head of the line?'
The loudmouth in front suddenly looked as if he'd been struck in the face with a brick. He stared at a point somewhere behind me. So did the others, with varying degrees of alarm.
'We turn our backs on you. `Get thee behind me, Satan.'' He turned and spoke over his shoulder.
'Prepare yourself for Judgment, `for the Lord shall descend from Heaven with a Shout!''
'I'll buy earplugs. Beat it.'
He pursed his lips in repressed fury. 'A lake of burning brimstone is waiting for you and your kind.' He walked toward the exit as if in a daze.
Without so much as a parting shot, the rest of the flock ambled out of the shop. They mumbled among one another like JDs dispersed by a cop.
I turned around to see Ann standing a couple of feet behind me. I'd almost smacked into her. She had her hands over head, her fingers pointing forward. A smile of triumph spread across her lips.
'You can lower them now,' I said. 'This wasn't a stickup.'
