'Great! Stoke that rage, because tonight on
we've got a real scumbucket for you. His name's Thomas Russell, and he's from a gang of degenerates called the St. Judas Church of Holy Tribulation and Tax Evasion.'
My brain went numb with an odd panic. Was this another coincidence? Another
coincidence? All my thoughts evaporated. This show might prove interesting.
'Beaver' Lenny stepped toward his audience, the camera pulling back to give a wide angle shot.
'St. Judas,' he hollered. 'I can understand the tax evasion partthat's as American as unregistered handguns. But
' He grinned. 'Well, fellow righteously indignant, how many bodyguards do I want for
creep?'
'Eight!' someone from the audience shouted.
'Come on,' Lenny hollered. 'You can do better than that!'
'Five!' a dozen or so shot back.
The host bounded around the stage like a teenager in heat. 'C'mon, c'mon. He's a threat to our American values. He's trying to undermine our faith, our morals, and our
'
'Three!' screamed half the audience.
'Two!' responded the other half.
'One!' they all cried.
'
' The roar was unanimous.
'
' Lenny shouted back amidst the applause. 'I face him alone! Man to worm! Let's welcome Thomas Russell!'
Tom wandered onstage, as smiling and as beautiful on TV as in real life. He stepped through a metal detector to reach his seat.
Lenny shook his hand and sat behind his desk. He looked delightfully ready to spill blood.
'Russell-you unmitigated scuzzpit-I understand you've written a book entitled
I'll skip the obvious question of how one as morally bankrupt as you can even compose a coherent sentence. I'll even contain my amazement that Taylor and Siegal published itthough it's typical of those corrupt East Coast culture-distorters.'
The audience cheered.
'Let me start by asking you who in hell gave you the right to spout this drivel about the two greatest aspects of Western civilizationGod and Government?'
The sardonic expression on Tom's face never even quavered. He seemed to be taking this about as seriously as his host.
