costumes, soldiers put up poles and slaves built sheds and leafy huts all round them. Whole houses were speedily constructed on the sand in the area, and I had a block of stone hauled into the middle of the arena.
It was impossible to stop the violent quarrels which arose, for each person looked upon his own task as his part in the preparations and as the most important. The worst were the Christians, who were lying all over the place or were wandering inquisitively about, getting in everyone’s way.
The circus was extremely cramped. I was forced to use all the cellars and stables and hastily strengthen the walls for my animals, for the circus had been used only for races. The strongest of the Christians were put to work and the others driven up onto the spectators’ stands. There were not enough privies for such a huge number of prisoners and in the end they had to hurry around cleaning and scrubbing all the passages they had soiled. In spite of this, we still had to burn incense everywhere and use great quantities of perfume to make the Imperial box and the senators’ seats presentable. I admit that my animals were partly responsible for the unpleasant smell, but I myself was so used to the stench of wild animals that I did not notice it any longer.
The Christians were made uneasy by the general confusion and gathered in groups to pray and praise Christ. Some of them jumped about and danced in ecstasy, with their eyes rolling. Others spoke in tongues which no one understood. When they saw this, many Praetorians said that it was Nero’s first sensible measure as Emperor to eradicate such witchcraft from Rome.
But even the most sensible Christians did not yet know the fate that awaited them, and they watched all the preparations in surprise. Some who knew me by sight came innocently up to me in the middle of all the rush to ask how long they would remain under arrest and when the trial would begin. They considered they had many important matters to arrange and see to in their work. I tried in vain to explain to them that the verdict had already been pronounced and that it would be best if they prepared themselves to die courageously in different ways and in honor of Christ, to make a memorable spectacle for the Senate and the people of Rome. But they just shook their heads and did not believe me.
“You’re just trying to frighten us for fun,” they said. “Such things cannot happen in Rome.”
They did not even believe me when they had to strip and the tailors and shoemakers hurriedly began to sew them into animal skins. On the contrary, some of them laughed and gave advice to the sewers. Young boys and girls growled and pretended to claw at each other after being dressed in a panther skin or a wolfskin. So great is human vanity, that they even competed for the most beautiful pelts when they saw that they were going to be forced to wear them. They did not realize why, although they could hear the continuous howling of my harrier hounds in the cellars.
When the theater people selfishly began to select the most beautiful and attractive people for their own purposes, I thought I had better look after my own interests and had the thirty most beautiful women selected for me for the Dirce number. While the Danaides and their Egyptian bridegrooms were being dressed in their costumes, I managed to collect what I thought was a satisfactory supply of women ranging from sixteen to twenty-five years of age, and had them taken to one side, so that no dishonest theater people could come and snatch them from me.
I think the Christians first realized the truth when the first rays of sunlight began to fall across the sand and the soldiers began to crucify the worst criminals. I had been forced to use the beams and planks that had been brought for the purpose to strengthen the walls of the stables, but even so it was no use putting up crosses too near each other on the sand, for they would only have obstructed both the view and the displays.
Tigellinus had to hurry off to the Senate. Hastily, I decided that only fourteen crosses, one for each sector of the city, should be raised in the arena. On each side of the entrances there would be space for more crosses, but beyond that they would have to be content with nailing as many as there was room for to the wooden fencing which ran around the race-course.
To make more room, Tigellinus had sent a thousand men and a thousand women under guard to Agrippina’s gardens, where Nero was to invite the people to a meal in the evening. But the people would have to be offered something during the show too, for the Vatican circus is so far from the city itself that one could not expect the people to go home for their midday meal. Thanks to the excellent organization in the Imperial kitchens, innumerable food hampers now began to arrive as quickly as the men could carry them, one basket per ten spectators, special baskets with wine and roast chicken for the senators, and two thousand baskets for the Noble Order of Knights.
I thought that it was unnecessary to have so many Christians nailed to the fencing around the arena, using so many expensive nails. In addition I was afraid that the cries from the crucified would disturb the displays, although at first, perhaps from nothing but surprise, they were astonishingly quiet. I do not say this from envy. It becomes monotonous, watching the crucified writhing about when there are so many of them. So I was not in the least afraid that the crowd’s attention would be distracted from my animals to the advantage of Tigellinus’ innovation.
But when a thousand people scream with pain, it is a sound which drowns the best bear growls and even the roaring of lions, not to mention the heralds’ explanations of the mimes, I thought I acted correctly when I assembled some of the leading Christians and sent them around to ask the crucified people to be quieter during the show, or at most cry out in the name of Christ so that the people would know for what they were being punished.
The Christian teachers, several of whom were already sewn into animal skins, understood their task exactly. They spoke to the groaning people and assured them that theirs was the greatest honor, for they were being allowed to die on the cross as Jesus of Nazareth had done. Their trials were to be short compared with the eternal salvation which awaited them in the kingdom of Christ. That very evening they would be in paradise.
The teachers spoke so convincingly that I had to smile. But when with even greater fervor they began to tell the crucified people that this day was the day of greatest joy, in which the innocent were to be allowed to suffer to the glory of Christ and as his witnesses ascend to heaven, I began to bite my lips.
It was as if these teachers seriously envied the fate of those who had been crucified. I could not look on all this as anything else but a display. So I remarked quite brusquely that as far as I was concerned, they could exchange their own brief agony for the lengthy agony of crucifixion if they liked.
But so incurable was their blindness that one of them tore off his bearskin and begged me for the honor of being crucified. I could do nothing else but comply and ordered the Praetorians to crucify him in one of the intervals.
The Praetorians, annoyed at this extra work, struck him several times, for their arms were numb and aching from, driving in so many coarse nails with heavy hammers. I had nothing against their beating him, for the law prescribes that those who are to be crucified are first scourged out of mercy so that they die sooner on the cross. But unfortunately we had no time to scourge the Christians. The most indulgent of the Praetorians contented themselves with poking them here and there with the points of their spears to give the blood some outlet.
And still I must admire the Roman ability to organize, thanks to which Nero’s command, which had seemed quite absurd, could be carried out so admirably. When in the bright morning the people began to stream through the circus entrances and the roads outside were white with the crowds, all the spectators’ stands were clean, the buildings ready in the arena, the performers dressed, the order of events decided, the roles allocated and the crucified in their places, jerking and whimpering quietly.
The howls of the hounds and the bellowing of the bison sounded promising to the ears of the crowd. While the most eager among them fought for the best seats, everyone who came quietly through the gates was given newly baked bread and a morsel of salt, and anyone who wished could have a mug of diluted wine.
I felt great pride in Rome as I hurriedly washed myself and changed into my red-bordered festive costume beside a pile of hay in the stables. The ever-increasing hum of contentment coming from a crowd waiting with tense expectation makes a deep impression. After drinking a couple of mugs of wine, I realized that one of the reasons for my joyful pride was the joyousness of the Christians. They exhorted each other not to weep and assured each other that it was better to laugh in an ecstasy of joy as they waited to be allowed to witness at the gates of the kingdom of Christ.
As the wine rose pleasantly to my weary head, I was all the more convinced that this show, at least as fax as I was concerned, could not but succeed. I should scarcely have felt so calm and proud of what I had arranged, had I known what was happening at the same time in the Curia. When I think about it now, I am seized with such sorrow and oppression that I must begin a new’book in order to be able to tell you about it without agitation.