clients and the meat traders of the Basilica don’t wish to believe that. What I meant was, do you see any resemblance to Emperor Claudius in my face?”
“No, of course not,” I said at once, to calm her. “You needn’t worry about that. Old man Claudius’ looks were nothing to boast about. But you’ve grown into a beautiful woman, especially now you’ve had your eyebrows plucked.”
Claudia was obviously disappointed by my words.
“You’re wrong, I’m sure,” she said sullenly. “Aunt Paulina and I have secretly been to-see my younger half sister, Antonia, out of pity for her lonely existence. Claudius had her first husband murdered and Nero her second, so no one dares to be seen with her now she has returned from Massilia. Her sufferings have taught her to see things from another viewpoint now. She offered us mead and fruit tart and gave me a gold hairnet. As things are now, she would perhaps be prepared to acknowledge me as her legal sister. She and I are the only genuine Clau- dians left.”
I was appalled when I saw that because of her feminine ambitions she was still attached to her imaginary vanities. She looked at me with her strangely glowing eyes, sighing deeply so that her full bosom rose, and then she seized my hand in both hers so I backed away in alarm.
“What is it you really want, unhappy Claudia?” I asked.
“Minutus,” she said, “you must know yourself that your life cannot go on as hitherto. Your marriage to Sabina is no real marriage. You are stupid if you’ve not grasped that. All Rome laughs at it. In your youth you made a certain promise to me. Now you are a grown man, the age difference between us is no longer as great as it seemed then. In fact it is scarcely noticeable. Minutus, you must separate from Sabina for your own standing’s sake.”
I felt like a wild animal trapped in a corner of the cage and threatened with red-hot irons.
“You can’t be serious,” I protested. “The Christian superstition must have confused your head. I’ve been afraid of this for a long time.”
Claudia stared at me. “A Christian must eschew all surface life. But Jesus of Nazareth himself is supposed to have said that a man who looks at a woman with desire commits adultery with her in his heart. I heard that quite recently. This knowledge is like a festering sore in my heart, for I realize that it is also so for a woman. So my life is becoming intolerable for me when I see you every day and cannot do so without feeling desire in my heart. At night I twist and turn without rest in my bed and I bite my pillow with yearning.”
I could not help but be flattered by her words. I looked at her with quite new eyes.
“Why have you said nothing before?” I asked. “Out of sheer mercy I would have come and slept with you any night. But such a thought never occurred to me because of your own disagreeable attitude.”
Claudia shook her head violently.
“I don’t need your mercy,” she said. “I should be committing a sin if I went to your bed without the bonds of marriage. To suggest such a thing shows how you’ve hardened your heart and how little you value me.”
I could not in all decency remind her of how low she had sunk at the time when I had found her, and her ideas were so insane that I was struck dumb with alarm.
“Antonia,” she went on, “would swear the most sacred oath before the Vestals that I am the legitimate daughter of Claudius and of the same blood as she. She’s almost certain to be willing to do that, if only to annoy Nero. Then a marriage with me would not be entirely worthless to you. If we had a child, the Vestals would know of his noble descent. If the situation changes, a son of ours could rise to the highest office in Rome. Antonia is very sad that she was childless in both her marriages.”
“How can a dead tree put out new shoots?” I cried. “Remember what you’ve been through.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me as a woman,” said Claudia indignantly. “My own body tells me that each month. I’ve told you, I am cleansed of my past. You too could convince yourself of that if you only wished to.”
When I tried to flee from the room, she seized hold of me and I do not know how we came to touch each other as we struggled together, but old wounds irritate and I had not slept with a woman for a long time. Within a short time we were kissing, and once Claudia had me in her arms, she lost control of herself completely. Afterwards she did cry, but nevertheless held on to me hard.
“My lack of virtue shows that I am of the depraved Claudius’ blood,” she said, “but now you have once again caused me to sin, you must make amends. If you are a man, at least you’ll go straight to Sabina and speak to her about a divorce.”
“But I have a son with her,” I protested. “The Flavians would never forgive me. Sabina’s father is the City Prefect. My position would be untenable in every way.”
“I don’t want to defame Sabina,” said Claudia quietly, “but there are Christians among the employees at the menagerie and Sabina’s loose way of life there is a subject of general conversation.”
I had to laugh.
“Sabina is a cold and sexless woman,” I said contemptuously and confidently. “I should know best. No, I couldn’t find a single tenable reason for divorce, for she doesn’t mind in the slightest if I satisfy myself with other women. And more than anything else, I know that she would never part from the lions in the menagerie. She’s more fond of them than she is of me.”
“But nothing need prevent her staying on at the menagerie,” said Claudia. “She’s got her own house there, which you seldom go to nowadays. You can be friends, even if separated. Tell her that you know everything, but you want a divorce without a public scandal. The boy can keep your name, as you once legitimatized him in a weak moment and now can’t retract.”
“Are you trying to imply that Lausus is not my son?” I said. “I didn’t think you were so wicked. Where is your Christian good will?”
Claudia lost her temper completely.
“Every single person in Rome knows he’s not your son,” she shrieked. “Sabina has slept with animal trainers and slaves and probably with the apes too, and she’s involved other noble ladies in her depravity. Nero laughs at you on the sly, not to speak of your other nice friends.”
I picked up my toga from the floor, swept it around me and arranged the folds as carefully as I could with my hands trembling with rage.
“Just to show you how much your malicious talk is worth,” I said, “I’ll go and speak to Sabina. Then I’ll come back and have you beaten for being a bad housekeeper and a poisonous gossip. You can go to your Christians in the same slave rags you came here in.”
I rushed straight off to the menagerie with my toga flapping, as if pursued by furies, so that I neither saw the crowds in the street nor returned any greetings. I did not even have myself announced to my wife, but just burst straight into her room without taking any notice of the efforts of the slaves to stop me.
Sabina freed herself from the arms of Epaphroditus and rushed up, raging like a lion and her eyes flashing.
“What a way to behave, Minutus!” she cried. “Have you lost the last shreds of your reason? As you saw, I was just taking a mote out of Epaphroditus’ eye with my tongue. He’s half blinded and can’t begin training the lion we’ve just got from Numidia.”
“I saw with my own eyes,” I snapped back, “that it was more likely he was looking for a certain place in you. Fetch my sword and I’ll kill this shameless slave who has spat on my marriage bed.”
Hiding her nakedness, Sabina hurried over to shut the door and order the slaves to go away.
“You know we always wear as little as possible when we’re practicing,” she said. “Flapping clothes only irritate the lions. You saw wrong. You must beg Epaphroditus’ pardon at once for calling him a slave. He received his freedman’s stave a long time ago, and his Roman citizenship too, from the hand of the Emperor himself for his exploits in the amphitheater.”
Only half convinced, I went on calling shrilly for my sword.
“I here and now demand an explanation from you for the shameful rumors about you going around Rome,” I said. “Tomorrow I shall appeal to the Emperor for a divorce.”
Sabina stiffened and looked meaningly at Epaphroditus.
“Strangle him,” she said coldly. “We’ll roll him up in a rug and take him out to the lions’ cages. Others besides him have had accidents playing with the lions.”
Epaphroditus approached with his huge fists outstretched. He was very powerfully built and a whole head taller than I. In the middle of my righteous rage, I began seriously to fear for my life.
“Now, don’t misunderstand me, Sabina,” I said hastily. “Why should I want to insult the father of my son?
