Shadow's master

always love you. I hope you're happy.”

“You know me. When am I ever happy? Is it all right if I check up on you once in a while?”

“Anytime you want. But use the door next time. All right?”

Caim looked at her, trying to etch this moment into his memory as he stepped back into the shadows. Her eyes glistened, but she didn't cry. He gave her a nod, and then he departed.

The portal snapped shut between them.

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Josey stared at the spot where Caim had disappeared and wondered if she'd dreamt it all. Then she squeezed the key pendant in her hand.

An animal bleated outside the tent, and in that moment, in the darkness, Josey felt his absence fully for the first time. She could still smell his sweat, his dyed leathers, the faint metallic scent of his knives, the oil of his unwashed hair. She had held out hope that he would return for so long, but the hope had grown fainter with the passing days. Until now. He was her friend, her first lover, and now he was gone.

Josey caressed her belly. Why hadn't she said anything about the child? Caim deserved to know he was going to be a father. Why? So I can make him stay with me? Is that what I want? No, this isn't Caim's child. It's mine.

But a memory bubbled up through her brain, of a moment she'd shared with Hirsch before the final battle. “You remember you asked me about my magic?” he had asked.

“Yes,” she answered, her mind focused on the oncoming fight.

“Well, one of my gifts is the ability to sense the power in others.”

She wasn't in the mood for cryptic talk. “What are you talking about?”

The adept leaned closer, until the brim of his hat almost touched her forehead. “The child, lass. He'll be strong in the Art. Damned strong.”

Strong like his father.

Fingernails scratched at the tent flap as Iola peeked inside. “Majesty, is everything all right? The guards heard voices.”

“Come in. Please.” Josey dropped her hand from her stomach. “I was just talking to myself.”

Iola ducked inside with a smile. “They say one shouldn't do that, Majesty. Or you're likely to go mad.”

“I feel like I'm already there. Come sit with me.”

They sat on the cot that served as Josey's bed. Heavens, I miss that big feather mattress back in the palace. But she didn't want to think about creature comforts. She had a big decision to make. “How is your father?”

Colonel Klovus had been injured in the battle and had lost an arm.

“Well, Majesty. He is resting. The doctor believes he will recover his full health, except for his…”

Josey put a hand over the girl's trembling fingers. “He'll live, and that's the important thing. Iola, have you ever been in love?”

The girl blushed and looked down at the comforter beneath them. “Majesty, I'm just a maid. I haven't any suitors…yet.”

“You don't need suitors to be in love. Now tell me true, have you ever loved?”

Iola nodded, and her face grew solemn. “I think so, Majesty.”

“Josey. You must call me by my name when we're alone. Or else, how can we be friends? And I want to be your friend very much.”

“As you say. Josey.” Iola's smile returned. “I am in love. I think maybe.”

Josey leaned closer. “It's Captain Drathan, isn't it?”

“Yes, Your Majes-Josey. He's so…everything!”

Josey thought back to all the things she and Drathan had been through. She agreed. She couldn't think of a better match. “Then you must tell him.”

“I couldn't!” Iola slapped a hand over her mouth as the cry escaped.

They both giggled, and Josey felt the tears she'd spared Caim begin to appear. It was so nice to laugh.

“I cannot, Josey. He doesn't even see me. I'm just Your Majesty's servant.”

“No, you are much more than that. You are my confidante and lady-in-waiting.”

Iola's eyes grew wide in the dim light. “I am?”

“Yes. And as an honored member of my court, you deserve the respect of your rank. Do you think your father would look favorably on a man like Captain Drathan?”

“I think so. Both my sisters wed soldiers, and he gave them his blessing.”

“Then we shall see to it.” Josey noticed the interior of the tent had lightened. Dawn was approaching. She fought back a yawn. “As soon as we return to Othir.”

Once the words were said, Josey realized she had made up her mind. She'd done the right thing, for her people, for Caim, and for herself and her baby. Yes, Caim was the father, and perhaps the day would come when she would tell him, but he had his own destiny. Hers was to serve her nation and raise the heir to the throne.

“Majesty. I mean, Josey. May I ask? Are you in love?”

Iola couldn't hide a brief glimpse down, toward Josey's growing middle. Josey clasped her hand tighter. “Perhaps.”

“Is that why you were talking to yourself before I entered?”

Josey looked to the corner where Caim had vanished. It was empty now, its shadows fleeing as daylight grew stronger.

The tent flap rustled, and a voice called from outside. “Majesty, a message has arrived. From the capital.”

Josey stood up, adjusting her gown, which seemed tighter and less concealing than it had before. “Enter.”

Iola curtsied as Brian ducked under the low doorway. “I'll go see if the cooks have made Your Majesty's breakfast.”

Brian made room for the girl to scurry out, and Josey took the moment to run her hands through her hair. Good gods, why didn't I make him wait until I had at least cleaned my teeth?

Brian stood there, looking at her. Just like he had looked at her at the creek. Then, as now, they had been alone. Then, as now, her heart had beat in her throat. He was so…everything.

Brian seemed to suddenly remember the message in his hand. He stepped forward and extended it, but his eyes never broke contact with hers. “Majesty.”

Josey took the letter, stained with mud on one side, but didn't open it. She should say something, but no words came to mind. What about “I love you”? He'd probably think I was a fool, or worse. But you won't ever know if you don't take a chance.

He saved her by speaking first. “I'll be going back to Othir with your party, Majesty. If it pleases you.”

Pleases me? What did he mean by that? Calm down, Josey. He's just trying to be courtly. “Your father's idea, Sir Brian?”

“Not likely. He'll birth a calf when he finds out, but I'm going anyway. I want to see those southern lands you told me about. And if I'm to be lord of Aquos someday, I'll need to know how things are done at court. I don't want to be a poor country boy all my life.”

That made her laugh. Twice in one morning. It must be a good day. “Well, I'll be glad for the company. I've decided we'll be leaving today. For the south, that is.”

“Calling an end to your northern excursion so soon?”

His smirk was insolent, and made her heart beat harder. She decided right then to release the hold she'd kept over her feelings since the day Caim left her standing in the cemetery. “Yes. I think I've found what I was searching for.”

Josey opened the message. Brian said something else, but she didn't hear him as she read. “Brian, could you assemble my commanders here? Right away, please.”