‘Very sensible,’ the Goddess said to the cowboy. ‘Lex can’t be trusted at all, you know. He even betrayed me once. He wouldn’t think twice before stabbing you in the back.’
‘Oh, I wish you would stop bringing that up,’ Lex said. ‘I didn’t actually betray you, I just almost did. There’s a difference!’
The point was negligible and Lex had no interest in discussing it any further so he changed the subject and said, ‘If we win both the other rounds and come first in the Game, then he gets half of those pearls. If he teaches me well enough that I can pass as a cowboy at Dry Gulch, then he’ll get the other half. If he doesn’t play his part, then he gets nothing. Understand?’
‘Yes, dear,’ the Goddess replied.
She left them shortly after that and Lex and Jesse set about resuming their training. Jesse insisted that learning to drink strong black coffee was next on the list. Rather than ringing down for it, Lex decided to walk downstairs himself. It would give him the chance to show his face, and asking for strong black coffee to take back with him would contribute nicely to the impression he was trying to create of someone so stricken with grief that he was neither eating nor sleeping. It was a winning situation all round, for it would cause Lorella to underestimate him in the next round, it would cause public feeling to warm towards him even further and? best of all? it would half cripple Jeremiah with guilt, and serve him right, the arrogant git.
After dressing all in black and fixing the pained, strained expression back on his face, Lex went down to the lobby. He was pleased, on arriving there, to observe that there was a bit of a disturbance going on. People were flapping about and looking upset and asking questions in very loud voices. And the police were there. Lex tapped on the shoulder of an expensively-dressed man standing nearby and said, ‘Excuse me, but do you know what all the commotion is about?’
‘It’s the Wizard!’ the man said. ‘The famous thief who’s been terrorising the lands. It seems he’s struck right here in the Majestic!’
‘No!’ Lex replied, widening his eyes in shock.
‘Yes!’ The man nodded vigorously. ‘Took Lady Kale-Fortescue’s grey pearls right out of her safe! There was no sign of the lock being forced or tampered with. The pearls just disappeared right from inside the locked safe and one of those little hats he uses as calling cards appeared in its place.’
‘Astonishing,’ Lex murmured.
‘I don’t know if this chap is some sort of criminal genius or whether he really is using sorcery like they say, but those pearls just vanished right out of a locked safe that only her Ladyship knew the combination to! It really comes to something when your possessions aren’t safe from that villain even somewhere like the Majestic!’
‘Terrible thing,’ Lex agreed. ‘Terrible. Poor Margie. What a dreadful fiend this Wizard must be.’
Feeling well pleased with himself, Lex wandered off in the direction of the restaurant where he caught a nearby waiter and asked him to fetch a bag of the darkest, strongest coffee beans the Majestic had.
‘We can brew it for you down here and deliver it to your room, sir-’ the waiter began, but Lex shook his head.
‘No, I want to brew it myself. One cup isn’t enough; I’m going to be drinking it all day. I’d rather do it upstairs myself. Can you bring me a tin can, too, if you’ve got one? I’m… very particular about how I drink my coffee.’
‘Very good, sir.’
Very good, sir! Lex hated that phrase. It was so… so passive, so subservient! The only way he would ever use it himself was if he was in the process of scamming someone blind. The waiter returned a moment later with the can and a bag of coffee, and Lex went back upstairs with them.
‘You can have a go at getting a fire started,’ Jesse said. ‘And then, once you’ve done that, we’ll brew the coffee on it. You’d better try eatin’ beans cooked in the can, too, because they taste different, see, and you wanna be able to eat ’em without a spoon if needs be-’
‘Gracious, you’ll be wanting me to cook marshmallows on it next!’ Lex said. ‘Look, I can’t see that this is going to be at all relevant. I only want to get into Dry Gulch House and stay there. I’m not going to be riding through the desert having camp-outs and sing-a-longs round the fire!’
‘Don’t be so sure,’ Jesse replied mildly. ‘There ain’t no fancy cuisine at Dry Gulch House. It ain’t like they’ve got a gang of servants in the kitchens. Most who stay there cook their own food over the open fires in the rooms downstairs. So you gotta learn how to cook it, how to eat it and how to like it, too.’
‘All right, fine,’ Lex said. ‘Tell me how to make a fire.’
So Jesse explained the process of rubbing two sticks together to create friction, getting some dry grass, if possible, etcetera, etcetera. Lex tried for about half an hour before he got bored. He just couldn’t get the knack of it. As anyone who’s ever tried to do it knows, making a fire in this way is much, much harder than it looks.
‘Practice makes perfect,’ Jesse said smugly, clearly enjoying the fact that Lex wasn’t getting it. ‘Just spend a few dozen hours at it and then you’ll be-’
‘Hey!’ Lex said sharply. ‘What’s that on your face?’
‘What?’ the cowboy said, instantly looking alarmed at Lex’s expression.
‘Right there,’ Lex said, leaning forwards and reaching out his hand.
Jesse barely had time to take in what was happening as a match suddenly appeared between Lex’s fingers and he ran it down the cowboy’s stubbled cheek so fast that it instantly flared alight.
‘Arghh, shit, kid!’ Jesse yelped, jerking back and clapping a hand to his cheek. ‘What the hell’s the matter with you?’
‘I always wondered if that would really work,’ Lex said, looking interestedly at the match for a moment before holding it out to light the paper in the fireplace. Sometimes practice makes perfect,’ he said. ‘But sometimes cheating makes perfect, too. I never do it the hard way when I can cheat and do it the easy way.’
If the worst came to the worst, and he didn’t have Jesse’s face to hand, then he could always use one of the little Wizard hats by concealing it in the palm of his hand and muttering the magic word under his breath.
Glaring savagely at him, Jesse slowly lowered his hand to reveal an angry red mark stretching down his cheek.
‘Ooh,’ Lex said with a mock wince. ‘Well, hopefully it’ll leave a scar and you’ll have something else to compete against Popcorn-Face Billy with.’
‘Now, look-’ Jesse began, lunging towards Lex with the clear intention of grabbing him, his hat falling to the floor in the process.
Lex jumped to his feet but not quite quickly enough. The cowboy sprang up and in another moment had Lex’s shirt collar gripped in both his large hands. ‘Pearls or no pearls, you’re dangerously close to pushing me too far, kid!’
‘Get off me, you brute!’ Lex snapped, pushing at him ineffectually. ‘I’m not going to put up with being manhandled by you! You’re my companion; you have to do as I say!’
‘In your dreams, you little-’
They were interrupted, at that moment, by a knock at the door. Lex and Jesse both froze.
‘Just a minute,’ Lex called. Then he lowered his voice and hissed, ‘Into the bedroom! Quick! No one can see you here!’
There shouldn’t have been anyone knocking on the door, anyway. He’d left the Do Not Disturb sign out so that no maid would come bustling in, trying to clean the place up, and he hadn’t ordered any room service. Jesse let go of Lex’s shirt and, still looking rather put out, crossed the room to the bedroom.
Lex stomped over to the door. ‘What is it?’ he snapped, as he threw it open.
Tess East was standing on the other side but she shrank back a bit at Lex’s tone. Lex was a little bit shocked himself. That dratted cowboy had actually succeeded in making him lose control of himself! He? Lex Trent? not in complete control! The thought was almost too awful to contemplate! He could have happily throttled Jesse in that moment.
‘Tess,’ he said, softening his voice and trying to maintain a grip on himself. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘I… I’m sorry to disturb you. But I wanted to… ask for the address of Jesse’s family,’ she said, looking him right in the eye. ‘I want to write to them.’
Of course, Lex had no earthly idea whether Jesse even had family and, if he did, where the heck they were. But he couldn’t say that to Tess when everyone seemed to have decided that he and Jesse had known each other for donkey’s years. He would have dearly loved to say, ‘Jesse didn’t have any family. And no friends either, come to that. He was such an insufferable man that no one but me could stand him for more than five minutes at a time.
