Neverisms

vote for the best candidate,

vote for the one who will do the least harm.FRANK DANE

Never be haughty to the humble, or humble to the haughty.JEFFERSON DAVIS

This was a personal motto for Davis—the American general who became president of the Confederate States of America—and he offered the thought on many occasions.

Never write anything down,

and never throw away anything that other people have written down.MAUREEN DOWD, in a 1994 column titled

“Thou Shalt Not Leave a Paper Trail”

This originally seemed like an unusual thought from a columnist, but Dowd was writing about politicians. Her dozen “real rules for ambitious courtiers” also included:

Never confuse networking with affection.

Shoot to kill. There’s no such thing as wounding.

And never interfere with your enemy

when he’s in the process of damaging himself.

Perhaps one of the only pieces of advice that I was ever given

was that supplied by an old courtier who observed:

Only two rules really count.

Never miss an opportunity to relieve yourself;

never miss a chance to sit down and rest your feet.EDWARD, DUKE OF WINDSOR, in A King’s Story (1951)

In 1936, King Edward VIII was less than a year into his reign when he abdicated the throne in order to marry the American divorcee Wallis Simpson. After the royal resignation, he became known as the Duke of Windsor, and she the Duchess. In this passage from his autobiography, he was recalling some advice he received during his brief reign.

Over the years, similar observations have been attributed to other world leaders. The advice to “relieve yourself” also shows up in a famous anecdote involving the man who defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo. When a journalist asked Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington, what motto had served him best in all of his years of military service, Wellington replied by using a naval euphemism for urination:

Never lose an opportunity to pump ship.

In his 2009 biography Churchill, Paul Johnson reported that he was only sixteen when he first met the legendary prime minister in 1946. When Johnson asked, “To what do you attribute your success in life?” Churchill replied:

Conservation of energy.

Never stand up when you can sit down;

and never sit down when you can lie down.

On this side of the Atlantic, former White House press secretary Bill Moyers once said this about his former boss:

Lyndon Johnson taught me two things.

He’d say never pass up a bathroom and never pass up breakfast,

because you’ll never know when you’ll get either again.

Never lose your temper, except intentionally.DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER

According to Sherman Adams, White House chief of staff from 1953 to 1958, this was a favorite saying of the thirty-fourth president. It nicely captures the goal of many political and corporate leaders, which is to only express anger strategically, and to never lose control over the emotion (a similar thought from John Wayne appears in the stage & screen chapter). Some of Ike’s other favorite sayings were also expressed neveristically:

Never waste a minute thinking about people you don’t like.

Never be more scared of the enemy than you think he is of you.

Never send a battalion to take a hill if you have a division available.

Never let yourself be persuaded that any one Great Man,

any one leader, is necessary to the salvation of America.

Never strike a king unless you are sure you shall kill him.RALPH WALDO EMERSON, an 1843 journal entry

Never put anybody on hold.HAMILTON FISH JR., on constituent telephone calls,

quoted in a 1995 U.S. News & World Report article

Never get caught in bed with a live man or a dead woman.LARRY HAGMAN, as J. R. Ewing

This line was delivered by Hagman in a 1980s episode of the CBS television prime-time soap opera Dallas. He described it as “The cardinal rule of politics.”

Never corner an opponent,

and always assist him to save his face.BASIL HENRY LIDDELL HART, English historian, offering

“advice to statesmen” in Deterrent or Defence (1960)

Never give your enemies

any more reason than they already have to go on hating you.CARL HAYDEN, who represented Arizona in

the U.S. House and Senate for nearly 57 years

Never worry about anything that is past.HERBERT HOOVER

The thirty-first president added: “Charge it up to experience and forget the trouble. There are always plenty of troubles ahead, so don’t turn and look back on any behind you.”

Never meet the press after a long flight.

You are bound to make mistakes.HUBERT H. HUMPHREY, said during his vice