And 101 Other Life-Saving Travel TipsTERRY DENTON, title of 1997 travel book
Never Try to Teach a Pig to Sing:
Still More Urban Folklore from the Paperwork EmpireALAN DUNDES & CARL R. PAGTER, title of 1991 book
In 1996, Donald Walker used the same title for a quotation anthology, subtitled Wit and Wisdom for Leaders. The titles can be traced to a line from Robert A. Heinlein’s 1973 sci-fi classic Time Enough for Love. In 2002, Mark McCormack came out with Never Wrestle with a Pig: and Ninety Other Ideas to Build Your Business and Career. All of the pig admonitions were discussed in the classic neverisms chapter.
Never Eat Alone:
And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a TimeKEITH FERRAZZI, title of 2005 book (with Tahl Raz)
Never Say Diet:
How to Live Older and Look LongerCOREY FORD, title of 1954 book
Ford’s book was the first to play off the words of the familiar saying never say die. In 1980, Richard Simmons picked up on the idea with his Never-Say-Diet Book. And in 2007, personal fitness trainer Chantel Hobbs—who lost over 200 pounds—titled her book Never Say Diet: Make Five Decisions and Break the Fat Habit for Good.
Never DespairMARTIN GILBERT, title of 1988 biography of Winston Churchill
Gilbert, Churchill’s official biographer, chose this as the title of the eighth and final volume in his exhaustive biography of the legendary English statesman. The title was inspired by Churchill’s last speech to the House of Commons on March 1, 1955. These were his concluding words:
The day may dawn when fair play, love for one’s fellow men,
respect for justice and freedom, will enable tormented generations to
march forth triumphant from the hideous epoch in which we have to dwell.
Meanwhile, never flinch, never weary, never despair.
Never Again:
A History of the HolocaustMARTIN GILBERT, title of 2000 book
When Gilbert chose the title of his book, the phrase never again had been associated for more than fifty years with the Jewish people’s determination to never let such a horror be repeated. Given the reverence with which we now view the saying, it came as a bit of a surprise to discover that Never Again was first used as the title of a 1916 silent film comedy starring a young Oliver Hardy, years before his partnership with Stan Laurel. The phrase has also been used to title dozens of other books, including these:
Never Again: A Program for Survival (1971)RABBI MEIR KAHANE
Never Again? The Threat of the New Anti-Semitism (2003)ABRAHAM FOXMAN
Never Again: Securing America and Restoring Justice (2006)JOHN D. ASHCROFT
Never Make Love in a Suit of ArmorMICHAEL GREEN, title of 1983 book
Never Sleep with a Fat Man in JulyMODINE GUNCH, title of 1993 book
Modine Gunch—often described as part Erma Bombeck, part Lewis Grizzard—is the creation of Liz Scott Monaghan, a New Orleans writer. A “Modine Gunch” column has been appearing monthly in New Orleans magazine for over twenty years. A 1990 Gunch book was also cleverly titled: Never Heave Your Bosom in a Front Hook Bra. Monaghan tells me that she is working on her next Modine book, and it may have her best title yet: Never Clean Your House During Hurricane Season. I don’t think she will mind if I give you a preview of the book’s opening line: “If I had known my house was going to be demolished, I wouldn’t have spent all day cleaning it.”
Never Eat More Than You Can Lift:
And Other Food Quotes and QuipsSHARON TYLER HERBST, title of 1997 book,
playing off a famous Miss Piggy line
Never Kiss and TellTRACIE HOWARD, title of 2004 book
Never Scratch a Tiger with a Short Stick:
And Other Quotes for LeadersGORDON S. JACKSON, title of 2003 book
Never Work Harder Than Your Students:
And Other Principles of Great TeachingROBYN RENEE JACKSON, title of 2009 book
Never Work for a JerkPATRICIA KING, title of 1987 book
Never Pay Retail:
How to Save 20 Percent to 80 Percent on Everything You BuySID KIRCHHEIMER, title of 1996 book
The goal of buying things at less than retail prices is deeply embedded in American culture. In 2010, Daisy Lewellyn wrote a book with a similar title: Never Pay Retail Again: Shop Smart, Spend Less, and Look Your Best Ever.
Never Eat Anything Bigger Than Your Head
& Other DrawingsB. KLIBAN, title of 1976 book
Never Suck a Dead Man’s Hand:
Curious Adventures of a CSIDANA KOLLMANN, title of 2007 book
Kollmann, a crime scene investigator with the Baltimore Police Department for more than ten years, got the title for her book from a mishap that occurred one bitterly cold night when she attempted to lift the fingerprints of a man who had died in a traffic accident. After normal fingerprinting methods failed to work, she carefully put each one of the dead man’s fingers inside her mouth to rehumidify it with her breath, making sure not to make any contact. After she successfully employed the technique with seven fingers, her hand slipped on the eighth attempt, and the man’s ring finger lodged in her mouth like a fish hook. It lasted for
