Black Jade

Again, I stared at the chasm's layers of rock; now nearly black with the fail of night, it seemed that in ages without end, on uncountable worlds, anything might happen — and almost every-thing had. It seemed as well that the folds of the earth might conceal many dark things, even one as dark and terrible as the ancient black gelstei.

Kane suddenly made a fist, and the small crystal seemed to vanish. When he opened his hand again, there was nothing inside it except air.

And I asked him, 'Do you believe the baalstei was brought to Ea?'

'Where else would it have been brought if not here?'

My mysterious friend, I thought, possessed all the evasive arts of a magician. Somewhere on his person, no doubt, he had secreted the black gelstei. Just as somewhere in his soul he kept hidden even more powerful things.

'You told us once,' I said to him, 'that the Galadin sent Kalkin to Ea. Along with Morjin, and ten others of the Elijin?'

Kane's eyes grew brighter and more pained as he said, 'Yes — Sarojin and Baladin, and the others. I have told you their names.'

'Yes, you have. But you haven't told us why you were sent here? Why, if Ea was so perilous for your kind?'

'It was a chance,' he said, looking up at the night's first stars. 'A last, desperate chance. The Lightstone had been sent here long before, and that was chance enough.'

And this supreme gamble on the part of Ashtoreth and the other Galadin on Agathad had nearly succeeded: Kalkin. in the great First Quest, had led the others of his order to recover the lost Lightstone. But then Morjin had fallen mad: he had murdered Garain and Averin to claim the Lightstone for himself- And Kalkin, in violation of the Law of the One, had killed five of Morjin's henchmen, and in a way. slain himself as well. Now only Kane remained.

'So, you see how it went for the Elijin who came to Ea' Kane said. 'How much worse would it be for any Galadin to come to this cursed place?'

At this, Liljana's kind face tightened in anger. She patted the ground beneath her, and snapped at Kane: 'Such things you say! I won't listen to such slander! The earth is our mother, the mother of us all — even you!'

As Kane regarded Liljana, I felt a strange, cold longing ripple through him.

'Liljana is right,' Master Juwain said. 'You can't blame Ea for corrupting Morjin. Neither can you blame the black gelstei.'

And Kane said, 'The greatest of scryers foretold that Ea would give rise to a dark angel who would free the Baaloch.'

'Either that,' Master Juwain reminded him, 'or give birth to the last and greatest Maitreya, who will lead all Eluru into the Age of Light.'

For a moment, Kane stared down at his clenched fists. Then he looked at Master Juwain and said, 'I know you are right, it is not soil or even black gelstei that poisons men, but their hearts. What lies within.'

He reached down to scoop up a handful of dirt. He said to us, 'And that is the hell of it, eh? What being, born of earth, does not suffer? Grow old and die?'

'The Galadin do not,' I said to him.

'You think not, eh? So, the Bright Ones grow old in their souls. And in the end, it is their fate, too, to die.'

The brilliance of his eyes recalled the most beautiful, yet terrible, part of the Law of the One: that each of the Galadin, at the moment of a Great Progression, in the creation of a new universe, was destined to die into light — and thus be reborn as one of the numinous Ieldra

'And as for suffering, Valashu,' he said to me, 'despite what you have suffered you cannot know. How many times have you swatted a mosquito?'

For a moment his question puzzled me. My skin fairly twitched as I recalled the clouds of mosquitoes that had drained my blood in the Vardaloon. And I said, 'Hundreds. Thousands.'

'Could you have killed them so readily if they had been human beings? Do you think they suffered as men do?'

I, who had already killed many tens of men with my bright sword said, 'I know they did not.'

'Just so,' Kane said to me. 'The pain that men, women and children know, compared to that of the Galadin, is minuscule. And yet it is no small thing, eh? And that in the end, is what poisoned Angra Mainyu's sweet, sweet, beautiful heart.'

Kane's words were like a bucket of cold water emptied upon me. I sat by the fire, blinking my eyes as a chill shot down my spine. I said to him, 'I never thought to hear you speak such words of the Dark One.'

And he told me: 'Angra Mainyu was not always Angra Mainyu, nor was he always evil. So, he was born Asangal, the most beautiful of men, and when still a man, it is said that he loved all life so dearly that he would not swat mosquitoes. And more, that once he saw a dog in excruciating pain from an open wound being eaten with worms. Asangal resolved to remove the worms, but could not bear for them to die. And so he licked out the worms with his own tongue so as not to crush them, and he let them eat his own flesh.'

At this, Daj's face screwed up in disgust, and Maram shook his head. And Kane went on:

'Asangal so loved the world that he thought he could take in all its pain. But after he became an Elijin lord and then was elevated as the first of the Galadin, the pain became an agony that he could not escape. In truth, like a robe of fire, it drove him mad. He began to question the One's design in calling forth life only to suffer so terribly; as the ages passed into ages, it seemed to him particularly cruel that all beings should be made to bear such torment, only, at the end of it all, to die. Love thwarted turns to hate, eh? For one of the Galadin no less than a man, and so it was with him. So, he began to hate the One. And in hating, he began to feel himself as other from the One and the Ieldra's creation, and so he damned the One and creation itself.

'And then, for the first time, a terrible fear seized hold of him. It gnawed at him, worse than worms of fire, for he knew that he had only damned himself. He could not bear to believe that he must someday die, as the Galadin do, in becoming greater. As the evil that he made inside his own heart worked at him, he could not bear to believe that any being, not the greatest of the Ieldra, not even the One, was greater than himself. For how could they be if they suffered to exist a universe as flawed and hurtful as ours? And so he resolved to gather all power to himself to remake the universe: in all goodness, truth and beauty, without suffering, without war, and most of all, without death. Toward this magnificent end, out of his magnificent love for all beings, or so he told himself he would storm heaven and make war against the leldra, against all peoples and all worlds opposing him. So, even against the One.'

Kane stood closer to me now, looking down at me, and his face flashed with reddish lights from the fire's writhing flames. 'Do you see?' he said to me. 'It is possible to be too good, eh?'

'Perhaps,' I told him. I smiled, but there was no sweetness in it, only the taste of blood. 'But I'm in no danger of that, am I?'

'Damn it, Val, you might have killed Morjin!'

I stood up to face him and said, 'Yes, I might have. And what then? Would one of his priests have used the Lightstone to free Angra Mainyu anyway? Or might I have regained it — only to become as Morjin? And then, in the end, been made to free Angra Mainyu myself?'

'You ask too many questions,' he growled. He pointed at my sheathed sword. 'When you held the answer in your hand!'

My fingers closed around Alkaladur's hilt, and I said, 'Truly, I held something there.'

'Damn you, Val!' he shouted at me. 'Damn you! Would you loose the Baaloch upon us!'

I looked down to see Daj set his jaw against the trembling that tore through his slight body. Master Juwain's face had gone grave, and his eyes had lost their sparkle, and so it was with Maram and Liljana. It came to me then that our hope for fulfilling our quest hung like the weight of the whole world upon a strand as slender as one of Atara's blond hairs. In truth, it seemed that there was no real hope at all. And if that were so, why not just ask Master Juwain to prepare a potion for all of us that we might die, here and now, in peace? Was death so terrible as