One Good Soldier

about it?' the CO asked.

'Admiral, if you ask me, I'd say it was clever, sneaky, and I never would've done it in a million years. The sign was a nice touch.'

Oh, great—Benny is selling me out, Joe thought. The sign had actually been Andy's doing, but Joe wasn't going to cause his engineer's mate any undue strife by giving up that information. No, sir, he'd take the lumps for that sign. Hell, Benny was right—it was a nice touch. And it was funny as hell.

Relax, Joe. Debbie tried to calm his nerves, but his heart rate was through the roof. You know that Benny wouldn't sell you out.

'And what about wrecking a perfectly good piece of hardware on my ship just to win a sim, and then go about sabotaging the propulsion systems because he didn't want to have to fight off a few wussy marines—'

'Ahem!' USMC Brigadier General Larry Chekov grunted.

'No disrespect intended, EndRun, just making a point.' The admiral grinned at his XO. The XO muttered something about squids, but not loud enough for any of them to make out.

'What's that, XO?'

'Nothing, Admiral. Just clearing my throat.'

'Benny?' The admiral turned back to the CHENG.

'Again, sir, I never would have done it in a million years.' Benny repeated the same answer.

'And why is that, Captain Harrison?'

'Well, Admiral, I hate to admit this, but I just don't think I'd have ever thought of it, sir.' Benny let a thin smile cross his lips briefly.

'Never would have thought of it?' the XO interjected. Joe was afraid the vein throbbing on the side of the Marine's neck was going to burst at any moment. 'Am I to believe that you are telling us now that Buckley Jr. here is smarter than our CHENG?'

'I'm afraid so, XO.'

'Pardon my French, Admiral, but that just will not fucking do, sir. Goddamnit, it will not fucking do, Admiral.'

'Why is that, Larry?' It was clear that the admiral was quite used to the fact that in order to properly function his XO seemed to have the need to profusely spout expletives several times a sentence, or he might keel over. After six years on the Madira, Joe was quite aware of that fact himself. He had learned a little too closely a few times. Everybody on board knew that the admiral and the XO had served together for decades, and so the admiral always seemed completely unfazed and mostly immune to the colorful expletives.

'Sir, we are the USS-by-God Sienna Madira. The flagship of the fleet. Our marines are the goddamned toughest sonsabitches ever to shit between shoes. Our mecha jocks fly like no other and eat their own vomit for lunch on a regular basis all the while begging for fucking more. Our Army pukes puke better than any. So our by-God CHENG had better be able to out fucking CHENG any other goddamned CHENG in this wonderful fleet of ours, sir.'

'And your point, XO?' The admiral looked back and forth between the XO and Buckley. Joe stood motionless, not understanding at all what this was about. He felt the best plan was to stand still and keep his damned mouth shut until he was told to speak.

'Well, sir, if'n our CHENG has done gotten so damned old and outdated that even he admits that Buckley Jr. here can out-CHENG him, then maybe he ought to be thinking about some damned greener pastures somewhere else, sir.' The XO sighed. 'No offense, Benny.'

'None taken, XO.' Benny was clearly now straining not to laugh, but Joe was still left out of the joke.

'Well, Benny, just what do you have to say about the XO's comments?' The admiral cocked his right eyebrow.

'Well, sir, I guess he's right. I'll just have to retire, sir.'

'Well, damned if that sure doesn't leave us in a bind here, CHENG! We are to ship off to the Oort in a couple hours, and my CHENG is up and quitting on me? When do you plan to leave us?'

'Uh, Admiral, my bags are packed and I plan to make shore before the Madira breaks orbit, sir. I've got several weeks leave I put in for. I'm gonna take that, and then my final date is next month, sir. Of course, you already approved my leave, Admiral.' Now Benny couldn't control his laughter.

'Well, goddamn, that had slipped my mind. One other thing, sailor—you'll be missed around here, Benny.' The admiral held his hand out sincerely and shook Benny's hand. Joe still didn't get the joke.

'Thank you, sir.'

'Same goes for me, Benny. You always kept us running while we were in the shit,' the XO added and shook hands with the CHENG. 'Can't ask for more than that of any CHENG. So, you're not having a party or nothing?'

'I just want to go home to Luna and spend some