after the funeral, I went back to her and she was ready. She had faced
it, come to terms with it, and she had decided how it must be I want to
see her, David repeated. I want to talk to her. Now the Brig looked at
him and the bleakness in his eyes faded, his voice dropped, becoming
gruff with compassion.
No, David. That was her decision. You will not see her again. For you
she is dead. Those were her words.
Tell him I am dead, but he must only remember me when I was alive David
interrupted him, jumping to his feet. Where is she, damn you? His
voice was shaking. I want to see her now. He crossed swiftly to the
door and jerked it open, but the Brig went on. She is not here. 'Where
is she? David turned back. I cannot tell you. I swore a solemn oath
to her. 'I'll find her You might, if you search carefully, but you will
forfeit any respect or love she may have for you, the Brig went on
remorselessly. Again I will give you her exact words. 'Tell him that I
charge him on our love, on all we have ever been to each other, that he
will let me be, that he will not come looking for me. ' Why, but why?
David demanded desperately. Why does she reject me? She knows that she
is altered beyond all hope or promise. She knows that what was before
can never be again. She knows that she can never be to you again what
you have a right to expect - he stopped David's protest with an angry
chopping gesture of his hand. Listen to me, she knows that it cannot
endure. She can never be your wife now. You are too young, too vital,
too arrogant- David stared at him - she knows that it will begin to
spoil. In a week, a month, a year perhaps, it will have died. You will
be trapped, tied to a blind woman. She doesn't want that. She wants it
to die now, swiftly, mercifully, not to drag on Stop it, David shouted.
Stop it, damn you. That's enough. He stumbled to the chair and fell
into it. They were silent for a while, David crouched in the chair with
his face buried in his hands. The Brig standing before the narrow
window casement, the early morning light catching the fierce old
warrior's face.
She asked me to make you promise - he hesitated, and David looked up at
him, - to promise that you would not try to find her. No. David shook
his head stubbornly.
The Brig sighed. If you refused, I was to tell you this she said you
would understand, although I don't, she said that in Africa there is a
fierce and beautiful animal called the sable antelope, and sometimes one
of them is wounded by a hunter or mauled by a lion The words were as
painful as the cut of a whiplash, and David remembered himself saying
them to her once when they were both young and strong and invulnerable.
Very well, he murmured at last, if that's what she wants, then I promise
not to try and find her, though I don't promise not to try and convince
her she is wrong. I Perhaps it would be best if you left Israel, the
Brig told him. Perhaps you should go back to where you came from and
forget all of this ever happened. David paused, considering this a
moment, before he answered, No, all I have is here. I will stay here
Good. The Brig accepted the decision. You are always welcome in this
house. Thank you, sir, said David and went out to where the Mercedes
