edge of the deep timber and sat down on a large rock, Nydia beside him.
'Dad was trying to tell us something about our being related. But what? He said it wasn't a holy union. Does that make our feelings all right? I'm going to say it does. I can't help the way I feel about you. We were drawn together from the moment we met. You felt it, I felt it. And we'll just leave it at that.
'Mother always said I was just like my dad. I guess the service proved it: it … really doesn't bother me to kill. I can't say much about it, although I don't know what it would matter now, to you, I mean, but sometimes Special Troops have to kill. Cold-bloodedly. A very few get picked to do that. I got picked. I did my job. I came back to base. I did that several times. No guilt feelings. None at all. No remorse. No nothing. I think Dad must have been like that.
'Okay, then. I'll do whatever in the hell—that's an odd word to pick, isn't it—I'm supposed to do. I'm hearing voices in my head; words pop out of my mouth that are alien to me; I know things that mortals aren't supposed to know—and don't ask me to explain any of it. I can't. So I'll just have to wait until someone, or something, gives me the green light with instructions.'
She put her arms around him and held him. And as has been the case for thousands of years, woman gave her strength to man through her touch, her gentleness, her understanding … and the fact that women are the more mercenary of the species.
'We'll both know when it's time, Sam,' she told him, holding him. 'I believe that. And I believe that our feelings for each other are right. And you must believe it.'
Holding hands, they walked into the timber, and the silence of God's free nature seemed to make them stronger, and draw them closer. The mood was almost religious, the towering trees a nondenominational cathedral silently growing around the young couple. They came to a small, rushing creek and sat on a log by the bubbling waters.
'Tell me more about being a Christian, Sam.'
'I don't know that much about it, Nydia. I … sometimes think it's a … feeling one must have. And I don't have it very often.'
'I think you're a better person than you will admit to being, Sam.'
'I've killed in cold blood,' he said softly. 'Before I was twenty years old.'
'Yet you've been chosen by a higher power to do … something good here on earth.'
He looked at her. 'Killing your mother and brother, probably. Have you thought about that, Nydia?'
'Yes. But I have no feelings of love or affection for either of them, Sam. I don't recall the last time I felt anything for them. I've always felt like a stranger around them … out of place … unwanted and really unloved. I don't believe they know love. I'll put it stronger than that: they worship Satan, so how can they know love?'
His smile was gentle, full of admiration for her. And love.
'Do you believe in baptizing or sprinkling, Sam?'
'I was baptized when I was just a kid. Too young, really. You don't really understand what it's all about at twelve or thirteen. It's exciting … the thing to do. Yeah, I guess either one would do. I'm not even sure it's necessary. How about the thief on the cross?'
'I know that story. I want to be a Christian, Sam.'
He looked at her. 'I really hope the thoughts I'm picking up from you aren't correct.'
'They are.'
'I'm not a minister, Nydia. I'm not even a very good Christian. How can I baptize you?'
'Do you remember the words, Sam?'
'No. I really don't.' He searched his memory. 'Well … I remember what Jesus said to the eleven disciples after the rock had rolled away … or something like that.'
'Oh, Sam!' She laughed at him, her laughter tinkling bells in the forest. 'All right, that will have to do. So say them. Do it.'
'Do it? You mean … here? Nydia, I don't have the … uh, authority.'
'What authority does it take?'
'Well, I don't know, exactly.'
'Then how do you know you don't have it? I mean, you're a baptized Christian, aren't you? Can't a Christian baptize somebody?'
'I … guess so, Nydia. But I'm not about to stick you in that water,' he said pointing to the creek. 'You'd turn blue!'
'Then put your fingers in the creek and do that other thing.'
He grinned at her, the grin fading when he saw she was serious. Feeling very much like a fool, Sam kneeled by the fast-rushing creek and wet his fingers. He touched his fingers to her forehead and said, 'Jesus said this, Nydia, and I really hope someone is listening who knows what this is all about. 'All power is given unto me in Heaven and on earth.'
''Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.'
'Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.''
And Sam knew something all powerful had been guiding his voice, for he had not read that passage since he was a child.
He kissed her lips and said, 'I feel kind of like an idiot, Nydia.'
