never let us go if they knew. So you’ve got to keep the secret-even after we’re gone.”
“Keep the secret! You’re not going without me. Where did you get such a fool idea! If you think for one minute-” I was shrieking now. Remy took hold of my arm.
“Be quiet!” he said, shaking me lightly. “I couldn’t possibly let you go along under the circumstances. You’ve got to stay-“
“Under the circumstances,” I repeated, my eyes intent on his face. “Remy, is there a way to bring the ship back?”
“I said there was, didn’t I?” Remy returned my look steadily.
“To bring the Ship back under its own power?”
Remy’s hand dropped from my arm. “It’ll get back all right. Stop worrying.”
“Remy.” It was my turn to take his arm. “Have you the instructions for a return flight? Tom said-“
“No,” said Remy. His voice was hard and impersonal.
“There are no instructions for a return flight-nor for the flight out. But I’ll make it-there and back. if not with the ship, then by myself.”
“Remy! You can’t!” My protest crowded out of the horrified tumult of my thoughts. “Even the Old Ones wouldn’t try it without a ship and they have all the Signs and Persuasions among them. You can’t Motive the whole craft by yourself. You’re not strong enough. You can’t break it out of orbit-Oh, Remy!” I was almost sobbing. “You don’t even know all the things-inertia-trajectory-gravitational pull-it’s too complicated. No one could do it by himself! Not even the two of us together!”
Remy moved away from my hand. “There’s no question of your going,” he said. “You told me-this is my own little red wagon and I’ll find some way of dragging it, even if a wheel comes off along the way.” He smiled a little and then sobered.
“Look, Shadow, it’s for Tom. He’s so wrapped up in this whole project that there’s literally nothing for him in this life but the ship and the trip. He’d have died long ago if this hope hadn’t kept him alive. You haven’t touched him unshielded or you’d know in a second that he was Called months ago and is stubbornly refusing to go. I doubt if he’ll live through blastoff, even with all the shielding I can give him. But I’ve got to take him, Shadow. I’ve just got to. It-it-I can’t explain it so it makes sense, but it’s as necessary for me to do this for Tom as it is for Tom to do it. Why he’s even forgotten God except as a spy who might catch us in the act and stop us. I think even the actual blastoff or one look at the Earth from Space will Purge him and he will submit to being Called and go to where his son is waiting, just the Otherside.
“I’ve got to give him his dream.” Remy’s voice faltered.
“Young people have time to dream and change their dreams, but old people Like Tom have time for only one dream, and if that fails them-“
“But, Remy,” I whispered forlornly. “You might never make it back.”
“It is in the hands of The Power,” he said soberly. “If I’m to be Called, I’m to be Called.”
“I don’t think you’re right,” I said thickly, finding it difficult after all these years to contradict Remy in anything of importance. “You’re trying to catch the sun in a sieve-and you’ll die of it!” Tears were wet on my face. “I can’t let you I can’t-“
“It isn’t for you to say “no’ or ‘go,’” said Remy, flatly. “If you won’t help, don’t hinder-“
Tom was back, holding out his hands, bloodstained across the palms.
“Come help me,” he panted. “I can’t get the rocks off my son-“
Remy and I exchanged astonished glances.
“But, Tom-” I took one of his hands in mine to examine the cut flesh-and was immediately caught up in Death! Death rolled over me like a smothery cloud. Death shrieked at me from every corner of my mind. Death! Death! Rebellious, struggling Death! Nothing of the solemn Calling. Nothing of preparation for returning to the Presence. I forced my stiff fingers to open and dropped his hand. Remy had my other hand, pulling me away from Tom, his eyes anxiously on me.
“But, Tom,” he said into the silence my dry mouth couldn’t fill, “we’re going to take the little flag. Remember? That’s to be the memorial for your son-“
“I promised my son I’d go into Space with him,” said Tom serenely. “It cuts both ways. He’s going into Space with me. Only there are so many rocks. Come help me, you kids. We don’t want to be late.” He wiped his palms on the seat of his pants and started back down the drift.
“Wait,” called Remy. “You help us first. We can’t go anywhere until we fuel up. You’ve got to show me the fuel dump. You promised you would when the ship was finished. Well, it’s finished now-all but pumping the fuel in.”
Tom stopped. “That’s right,” nodded his head. “That’s right.” He laughed. The sound of it crinkled my spine. “I’m nobody’s fool. Always keep an ace in the hole.”
We followed him down another drift. “Wonder what fuel they have,” said Remy. “Tom either wouldn’t say, or didn’t know. Never could get a word out of him about it except it would be there when we were ready for it. The fuel compartment was finished before we ever found him. He wouldn’t let me go in there. He has the key to it.”
“It’s awfully far from the ship,” I worried. “How’re we going to get it back there?”
“Don’t know,” Remy frowned. “They must have had something figured out. But if it’s liquid-“
Tom had stopped at the padlocked door. He fumbled for a key and, after several abortive attempts, found the right one and opened the lock. He flung the door wide. There was a solid wall of metal blocking the door, a spigot protruding from it was the only thing that broke its blank expanse.
“Liquid, then,” whispered Remy. “Now, how on earth-“
Tom giggled at our expressions. “Used to keep water in here. ‘S’all gone now. Nothing but the fuel-” He pushed
